When You Talk About Yourself!

[Rani G2]

I 'm might be suffering from relationship dyslexia, so another thread asking...

How do you “describe“ yourself. Its not about writing an essay about yourself thing, more being around random or not so random people making an effort to get to know you. I am extremely private when I talk about myself, and I dislike opening up much, definitely trust issues there. So, I usually cover it up being funny or cynical, which probably comes across a bit cold at times.

How do you handle people you dont know well? Are you opening up quickly? “opening up“ is quite relative I know, but do you wait for a while, analyze and then jump in?


Just wondering....

 

[Stitchin]

Hmm. I sort of have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to me. I tell everyone everything. But when people make me mad I fly off the handle too, and if they make me too mad they are basically dead to me. There's a slew of people that literally call me craZy Sandra. Which is fine with me.
But we all must operate within the limits of our comfort - keeping your own life private is probably good, especially with new people. I can attest to the fact that there are people who seek out damaged hearts to take advantage of.
I can truthfully say I don't care what people think of me - but really other people don't think about us as much as we think they might.
If people think you're rude or cold because you're private then they are likely gossip mongering jerks.
My 2 cents.

 

[ladee]

I volunteer nothing.... YOU I opened up to... which was so strange for me PURSHA !!! I did feel trust with you for some reason... and you have not betrayed that trust, and that is precious to me.... as you are !!
I will share something surface about myself if it will help someone who is having trouble with something and asks if I understand.. But just to meet people and start talking... that would be a great big NOPE !!
I learned a long time ago to keep a conversation going with some one new is to not give them a chance to ask about me... I ask surface questions... like what do you for a living? People love to talk about themselves... and thru the causal asking, I find if that person is trustworthy... by the answers they give... by the way they handle the questions...ect.

But I do just what you do... I handle it with humor or sarcasm, deflect it someway if it's too personal...I don't know of a nice way to say 'it's none of your business'.... I have been accused of being unapproachable... no, but I am reserved.... and that is good!!!
Very few people really want to hear what we say anyway, they are waiting for an opening to talk about themselves. But the people that approach us with compassion and instinctively know not to ask very personal questions... those are the people I want to be around...they understand friendship takes time...

But , say, in a social setting, very personal things are off limits... not the time or the place...in my opinion...there are some people that put me off so bad, I find a way to excuse myself....

Trust is a hard thing to learn to do... but we can learn what to look for in others that let us know if they are trustWORTHY... I was forced to give up pieces of myself as a child... as an adult... I have say so who comes into my world... and gets to stay...
This is a great topic... and am happy to see you asking questions...lots of 'cyber hugs' to you !!!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I tend to be quite open when it feels right, albeit much more selectively than I used to be, unless my filter is out of order, then it can go in any direction.

After taking a small business class, I learned of elevator pitches and such and had some fun with deciding how to describe "what I do" since I no longer have what folks would consider a normal job with a socially acceptable title to share. That helped me wrap my brain around a lot of things I used to never give myself credit for. For an already squashed self-esteem and such, it was much needed fuel for the self-talk fire.

A lot of what the posters above said rings true for me, too. I used to be much more open until I realized there are folks waiting to find those soft spots just so they can pounce. Homey prefers not to hang with that type of vibe since it brings out what feels like the worst in me. They can still pounce if they'd like, they just better be ready to also bounce their energies elsewhere. Ain't nobody got time for that. lol

But those few precious gems I find like diamonds in the rough when I choose to put myself out there in various arenas makes me keep striving to be a bit more graceful in my approaching and receiving others. Try being the key word. lol I don't recall ever being accused of being too graceful, yet. Hahahahahahaha!

 

[Freedomfighter]

I 'm might be suffering from relationship dyslexia, so another thread asking...

How do you “describe...

I used to open up very easily, until I met people that stalked me, that lied about themselves and that will try every trick in the book in order to interfere with my private life. Seems to be rather common that total strangers seem to think they have the right to interfere with my private life which will never ever have anything to do with them.

That being said now I am the opposite, certainly will not allow anyone to overstep the welcome that I never gave out in the first place.

Time to sign off, just too tired and angry.

 

[Rani G2]

sort of have diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to me

Its comfortable for me be around people with logorrhea, that makes me just listen.

but really other people don't think about us as much as we think they might.

Cant disagree with this stitchin! True.


Thanks Stitchin.



Ladeeeeeee,

learned a long time ago to keep a conversation going with some one new is to not give them a chance to ask about me.

Thank you lady for saying I am trustworthy. You have been a good advicer here. Thanks! I appreciate that.

Yes, i think I have a similar strategy while doing the so called smalltalk thing, I dont talk much about myself, naturally focus on their glance, in which speed limit some else talks, their gestures and when I get the signals that they are truly connected rather than having someone infront of them to have an outlet, I do make a small step towards connecting.

an adult... I have say so who comes into my world... and gets to stay...

Definitely ladee, and I get to decide and control.

Thanks .

Homey prefers not to hang with that type of vibe since it brings out what feels like the worst in me.

Tornadic Thoughts,

if people find an opposite that mirrors them they tend to feel magnetically driven to them. People with massive selfworth issues ( Just my experience) Tend to get into a competitive mode to avhieve self realization ( Its not necessarily the "other person" its their own mechanism)

But those few precious gems I find like diamonds in the rough when I choose to put myself out there in various arenas

Yes, and thats what really matters.

Thanks for answering.

That being said now I am the opposite, certainly will not allow anyone to overstep the welcome that

Hey freedomfighter,

you have taken it into your own hands. Never letting others have control over YOU.

Thanks freedom

 

[Rani G2]

Yesterday, i was in a park, where an old colleague approached me, her mouth had its own nervous system and words were shooting out like "Hey where were you all these years, great to see you, look at this weather isnt it great?" There was no pause, none.... its actually amusing to see how communication can be.

 

[Rani G2]

Tend to get into a competitive mode to avhieve self realization ( Its not necessarily the "other person" its their own mechanism)

And I do the same.