DID Why are we all so afraid of d.i.d.?

[theshadowoftheliving]

Why are we all so afraid of DID?

I'm including myself in here. But I'm also really curious, because it seems like a fair amount of us have it and are totally fine. So, it isn't actually that scary.

I'm just wondering why we are all so afraid. I've noticed it on this board - and this isn't a criticism, just a curiosity. Why are we all so afraid? Is it because we are all afraid, or are we afraid because others are afraid?

 

[Fayne Jane]

Why are we all so afraid of DID?

I'm including myself in here. But I'm also really curiou...

I am afraid of the fall out I have after to going through EMDr

 

[void]

@theshadowoftheliving

B/c
#1. the Media, and Org. Religion lie about it and use it for shock value
#2. some of the T's themselves are afraid of it or don't even BELIEVE in it
#3. b/c it is, in some minds, exclusively assoc. with Satanism.... which is bullsh*t
#4. b/c it forces our society to face the truth about organized, well-trained programmers/abusers and society refuses to face that truth

Fear.
Humans love the lies we tell ourselves.


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Btw, one of the loveliest humans I have ever known has D.I.D.

 

[Teamwork]

I have two people in my life who accept me as all of me, no judgement, no fear. They are like that because they put compassion for suffering first. To them if I had to guess, it doesn't matter much who is out, they first and foremost respect me.

 

[joeylittle]

@theshadowoftheliving - I'm curious - who/how do you see the fear showing up? Is it people who are worried that they will be diagnosed with DID?

Personally, I am not afraid of the diagnosis, or people with the diagnosis. I do get pretty frustrated with individuals self-diagnosing it, or looking to self-diagnose it (which is not uncommon around here). I don't know what it's like to have DID - so I really can't speak to the experience of it - but I do know what it's like to have various aspects of myself coming to the front, depending on the situation - and that's quite common to the human experience, regardless of mental illness.

It's tempting to pathologize every single thing about ourselves, especially when looking to understand why we feel shitty, what we have, and how to get better - and since diagnoses in mental health depend a great deal on self-observation, it's even encouraged, to a certain extent.

But DID is an incredibly specific - and rare - disorder. That doesn't mean that people who have it are freaks. It just means that the people who are legitimately living with DID deserve to have their diagnosis respected, and not jumped onto by every person who thinks they might have DID simply because they recognize aspects of the diagnostic criteria within themselves, but don't have the whole picture.

People should be able to connect with others who legitimately live with certain diagnoses, and not be constantly sifting through lots of "oh, that sounds like me, because I feel like a different person when I..." That's what I believe, anyway.

 

[Hope4Now]

I have DID. I have had it all my life, but was only diagnosed with it around a year ago or so.

I am afraid to let anyone know about it. When I have to explain myself, I prefer to note that I have "severe PTSD" because that tends to be something people understand somewhat better even if their responses can be pretty clueless sometimes.

I think many people are afraid of people with DID because of how the media has portrayed it in such twisted and unrealistic ways, from Sybil to the recent film Split, for example. Showing violence, etc. I fear revealing that I have DID because, in part, I am afraid people will fear me, and that would be so hurtful to me.

I think many people are afraid of getting diagnosed with DID because it suggests a life sentence in psychotherapy. And, I suppose, the sense that we are "crazier" than other people. Or the acknowledgement of lack of control of our bodies, our memories. The thing is, though, that the diagnosis just puts a label on what we are already experiencing--it's not like anything different is going to happen.

For me, the diagnosis was a relief. Though neither I nor my therapy team are into labeling and diagnoses, sometimes having a name for what is happening to you...being given a name by a specialist...is like a validation that what you're experiencing is real.

 

[whiteraven]

I, personally, am not at all afraid of DID. I think that I *was* afraid when I was first diagnosed because I didn't understand it and because there is such a stigma. These days, there is still such a wide variety of reactions and misinformation - even the notion that it is "rare" is arguable; there is a Harvard paper that cites a study that suggests otherwise (I can post a link, but I'm not clear if that's allowed?).

I think what I mostly learned was that the label doesn't really matter. Not when you get down to the very basics. And we are the same being we were before we were labeled as DID. When I realized it was the label that was making me even crazier than I already felt, I decided I needed to take a step back and try and figure out what was going on.

I try to separate what is going on inside from whatever and however other folks want to characterize that. They are just words. And in fact, they are words that have changed in meaning over time, which leads me to trust them even less. I use them only as a guide to help me understand some of the things I have trouble grasping, but I rely more on what I learn by my own exploration and what I discover with the help of therapy and other tools.

People should be able to connect with others who legitimately live with certain diagnoses, and not be constantly sifting through lots of "oh, that sounds like me, because I feel like a different person when I..."

Yeah, this is one thing I take issue with and one time where talking about the actual diagnosis of DID is helpful. When there is a kind of diluting of the diagnosis, there ends up being a misunderstanding of what those of us living with it every moment of every day are actually dealing with. I don't mean in any way to minimize what folks are experiencing, but there often seems to be a reluctance to share the stuff that will help figure out a proper diagnosis with therapists. I get that. All kinds of reasons not to, I guess, but the sooner we learn what the problem is, the quicker we can start dealing with it.

My 2 cents, anyway.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Fear.
Humans love the lies we tell ourselves.

This. I agree. I have been so, so afraid.

@theshadowoftheliving - I'm curious - who/how do you see the fear showing up? Is it people who are worried that they will be diagnosed with DID?

I see fear showing up in a couple ways: in the panic of wondering if one has DID (this was me for a long time) and the quickness of others to point out reasons why it can't be so.

I think many people are afraid of getting diagnosed with DID because it suggests a life sentence in psychotherapy. And, I suppose, the sense that we are "crazier" than other people. Or the acknowledgement of lack of control of our bodies, our memories. The thing is, though, that the diagnosis just puts a label on what we are already experiencing--it's not like anything different is going to happen.

I think that this is exactly true - thank you for putting it into words. DID suggests a lack of agency over one's self. How can one fix things that aren't in one's control? It feels like an impossible diagnosis to solve.

Yeah, this is one thing I take issue with and one time where talking about the actual diagnosis of DID is helpful. When there is a kind of diluting of the diagnosis, there ends up being a misunderstanding of what those of us living with it every moment of every day are actually dealing with. I don't mean in any way to minimize what folks are experiencing, but there often seems to be a reluctance to share the stuff that will help figure out a proper diagnosis with therapists. I get that. All kinds of reasons not to, I guess, but the sooner we learn what the problem is, the quicker we can start dealing with it.

I also think I agree with you, @whiteraven. The fear around the diagnosis and the insistence that it is rare is a problem. I've also read plenty that suggest it is much more common that previously thought. But the mythology of the disorder being so incredibly rare prevents others from identifying and taking seriously signs that they should be paying attention to.

 

[void]

Just a thought....ymmv.

I have come to view the formation of alters as a........forced* act of creativity and intelligence.
*(made necessary under extreme duress)

Many of the individuals I have encountered with a DID dx, happen to be artistically and spatially creative and have a higher than ave. IQ.

The severity of the torture/abuse that was foisted upon them was so extreme that there were 2 options.....1. be psycho-physically destroyed to the point of death
-or-
2. in an explosion of creativity/intelligence craft splinters...sub-sections of the Self

I marvel at this ability.
I am in awe of how they survived.

(:cry:thinking of my friends with DID:cry:)

They all deserve our deepest respect.
May they find whatever degree of integration they seek.
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NB: There are monstrous demon-spawn on this planet, that engage in the extreme trauma relevant to DID, with the skill and deliberation of a professional.
They are well-trained and are fully conscious of what they are doing and why.
They are worldwide and have been doing this for centuries, I believe.
Many do not survive the 'programming' that these ppl do and those that do often develop DID.

The gen. public understandably recoils from and largely denies the existence of such terrifying sadism, others simply don't know.

 

[whiteraven]

I see fear showing up in a couple ways: in the panic of wondering if one has DID (this was me for a long time) and the quickness of others to point out reasons why it can't be so.

Oh yeah. This was me for so many years. I finally just decided at some point that it was consuming way too much energy and giving too much power to people who could have absolutely no idea what was going on inside my head that I embraced the diagnosis. It was then that I started really gaining a much better handle on things. There was less chaos, better communication, and much less anxiety.

DID suggests a lack of agency over one's self. How can one fix things that aren't in one's control? It feels like an impossible diagnosis to solve.

I see it as the exact opposite. DID shows us that the individual has an immense capacity to adapt and manage in any environment. There is a perception of feeling out of control when you are multiple, at least when you are still dissociating a lot, because there is a loss of time and memory, but it's possible to become co-conscious so that those periods are lessened and to learn to negotiate time that insiders/alters spend out so that you feel more in control of switching.

 

[FireSign8]

I have to admit that I do fear forced incarceration & medication if I were to tell the wrong health professional about my many sides or as I hear them referred to as "alters" in todays world. To me an alter is something to knell on or sacrifice something on. So, that type of word association for me does bring fear because I bow to no one & will never again willingly give of myself to others. This includes therapists. Let them write their own books about themselves because so many actually belong in therapy in my view! To me, I'm still MPD & my house is in much better order than it once was. DID is not a term I align myself with because I am still learning about the hidden meanings behind the terminology changes of the psychiatric world.

 

[Hope4Now]

Just a clarification for whatever it's worth:

To me an alter is something to knell on or sacrifice something on.

An altar is the holy place at which one kneels, prays, performs religious rites, etc.
An alter (short for alternate I think?) is one word used to refer to parts of one's personality, particularly in DID.