I feel ashamed again, I've known for a while now that people at work & my perpetrator were stalking me & meddling with me online. My perpetrator for a while now has 'pretended' to be a 'caring friend' under a fake profile. Stupid me confessed that I'd been having problems with bullying etc at work. M perp then onboarded my Mgr, his sister & others to mess with me. It has sent me spiraling backwards - everyone is a potential threat, I can barely leave the house - I'm in a constant state of panic & keep wanting to scream help.
So many people hurt me, I don't understand why - I don't know how to make it go away. I was doing well, but too many bad things happened & I just couldn't cope this time - I just want to check out. I'm nearly on the street now - I have money for 4 more weeks rent, I can't go back to my job the thought of that place now is hell, but I'm in no fit state to get another job. I'm too humiliated to ask for help ... & say what... I was abused, so many times - I don't know how to say no - I'm just not good at anything, I'm too tired to keep going. I've had so many people mess with me & rape my mind - cops, nurs s, psychs, educators, bullies, narcissists. Sometimes I just want to be 2 again & be scooped up & held.
Why do people have to be so cruel, I thought we were given life to build a heaven not a hell