When are you done with therapy?

[watundah]

I am at a point where I am considering stopping therapy.
I feel like I have grown a lot and am at a good place.
Am I 100% "fixed"?
No, and I am realistic in knowing that there will probably always be hiccups along the way.
I haven't gone into this with my therapist yet and want to make sure I don't cut myself off prematurely but it's an idea I've started kicking around. And it is scary to think about cutting the cord!

Rather than go on about my personal details, I am curious to hear from others about their therapy success stories and how they knew when they were done.

 

[whiteraven]

Hi watundah,
Glad to hear you are feeling like you are doing well enough to "cut the cord." I'm responding here, not because I'm exactly a "success story," but because I just wanted to offer my support. I really think only you can know if you are ready, although a discussion with your therapist would be a good idea, of course, if only to close up things so you can move on.

Wishing you well!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

What a great feeling to have reached a space of not feeling the need to reach out as often, or at all. Self-empowerment feels really good and is a great practice to indulge in whenever it feels right andhealthy, in my opinion.

I don't feel I wish to completely sever my ties with my therapist, as it's quite comforting to know I can call on her whenever I feel I need to. Through the years, I've finally realized how beneficial it can be to realize that need to and to act on it. That alone, to me, is a success within itself after experiencing several therapists and psychiatrists from hell.

I don't see her regularly, but know she's just a phone call away if/when the need arises, and as I've repeatedly learned in my first half-century of existence, the need will definitely arise again without a doubt. She's one of my most valuable tools in my tool box.

I also visit every other week for a support group she facilitates. It helps keep my self-worth levels topped off, puts me more in touch with myself through my ongoing interactions with others, and reminds me when I need it the most that I'm not alone in my experiences and struggles, beyond the supportive internet connections such as this space.

All of this is via a free service offered through our local sexual and domestic violence shelter and doesn't involve jumping through the usual paperwork hoops, insurance expectations, etc. making it a smooth process when trying to access it.

Best wishes for ongoing healing experiences regardless of what you choose.

 

[watundah]

Thank you for sharing!

@Tornadic Thoughts I really like what you said about her always being available as a tool in your tool box and only a pbone call away. That is a great reminder and soul soother, knowing that stopping doesn't have to be completely final. And I am trying to consider many scenarios but ultimately therapy isn't meant to be forever, for me, anyway.

Like.you, I am finding new and additional avenues for growth. I have started spending more time in meditation and joining Buddhist classes. I think it is helpful to continue to find ways for calmness and mutual support, especially when therapy takes a less important role in our healing.

 

[EmmaOwl]

The very first thought that popped into my mind is: If you think you're done, you're done.

I mean, you're not storming off in frustration. What you say seems balanced and sensible. If you feel tentative or unsure, maybe you could mention it to your therapist in a fairly casual way and see the reaction. But these things you say:

I feel like I have grown a lot and am at a good place...
... I am realistic in knowing that there will probably always be hiccups along the way.

You sound healthy and down-to-earth.

I am sorry I can't give you a story of therapist termination for any positive reasons.
Like @Tornadic Thoughts, I think other resources, groups of like-minded people - plus your old therapist's phone number! - sound like just the thing for you, based on what you've said here. Maybe you could decrease visits - once every two weeks for a bit, once a month... I like the idea of planning ahead some kind of checking-in. Just to be on the safe side - so 6 months down the line you aren't thinking "Oh I want to talk to my therapist but I'm not really her patient so I don't want to bother her." That would be my main concern, in terms of a negative outcome.

Other than that, congratulations are in order! I think it's excellent to feel a natural end to things, kind of weaning off a support that you might have depended upon in the past. Please keep us updated?

 

[watundah]

Ok, officially terminated.
I know it was the right thing to do.
I read an article where someone described stopping therapy as having your heart scooped out with a spoon. Yeah, it's kind of like that. I know time will soothe the pangs and she assured me she is only an email away and I can reach out any time, but still...it's a big...freaking...hole.

Meanwhile, keeping busy, sitting with the pain (because, hey, I'm feeling!) and chanting the mantra, "It's a professional relationship, it's not meant to last forever..."

Siggghhh....

 

[EmmaOwl]

Meanwhile, keeping busy, sitting with the pain (because, hey, I'm feeling!) and chanting the mantra, "It's a professional relationship, it's not meant to last forever..."

Good job! I imagine you'll be missing things for a while, but you sound so healthy and in charge of your state-of-mind. Which is exactly what therapy is supposed to do... so I hear you with the emotional pangs, but you've done great! It's a true accomplishment. I think a lot of people would just keep going out of inertia.

 

[watundah]

Thanks, I needed that!