Want to feel physical pain

[Ronin]

and im embarrassed about it.

Nothing embarassing. Just not the healthiest to act on, but not embarassing, and understandable.

 

[loui50]

So what does your emotional brain has to say about this, what's your reasoning for the wish to hurt yourself?

I dont know why. Im just overwhelmed. All the events of the day habe filled my bucket so to say and i have this intense need. Like i want to cut myself just to feel it.

Did something help with that before?

A night away from the kids has worked in the past but i can't do that tonight. That takes planning. I might ask hubs to let me take a long bath or somethinh.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

No. I can leave a message for t or i can email her. Either way it would be days for them to get back t...

I have been going to my place for over two months. The new T mentioned the emergency call line. That would have been nice to know about, old T! :banghead:

 

[loui50]

The new T mentioned the emergency call line.

I have asked about emergencies and she said go to the hospital or call 911. I dont think this merrits that. She said i csn always email her but my experience with emailing is it takes her days to respond and with a holiday weekend i cant imagine i wiuld hear back.

 

[Joan]

So sorry that you are feeling this. Yes, I have felt this and has led to destructive behaviors in the past. Nothing to be embarrassed about (although I have those feelings as well) ...you just want to feel something different as you cannot tolerate what you feel in this moment. Things that have helped me are exercise, ripping paper, burning paper, throwing or spitting paint, smashing glass....try to take sweet care of yourself.

 

[Ronin]

^^ That.

& Ice in whatever form and drawing the cuts, not /doing/ them.

 

[loui50]

Things that have helped me are exercise, ripping paper, burning paper, throwing or spitting paint, smashing glass.

Thanks. I feel.like i cant do anything destructive, whih might help because my hubs and kids are home and would think im a fool. I feel so stuck.

 

[Joan]

what about in the bathroom on your own? So sorry feeling stuck is really tough...that is when feel backed into a corner and options are slim. Can you tell your husband you need some space and to entertain the kids for a little while? Sounds like you need some space to breath.

 

[loui50]

Can you tell your husband you need some space and to entertain the kids for a little while?

He is bathing them now then they will go to bed. Maybe then i can think!!

 

[loui50]

Dont get me wtong. Love lo ve love my kiddos. Im scared to feel like this around them.

 

[Joan]

totally understandable...that is why I thought maybe if you could get some space from them for a small bit.

 

[HealinginHisWings]

Here's the situation. It is nice to hear that you have a supportive husband. Busy it sounds, but helpful! Start being thankful for what is good. Then think about what is hurting you that is out of your control? What is the pain you need to see? Do you know what it is? Sometimes it can be pain that needs to show itself. I've had past problems with this at two difficult times in my life. It does nothing to resolve anything, only it can cause more pain and scars that leave an imprint on the pain you want gone. I think that writing and throwing it away is better than making yourself hurt as a cover up and fake solution. God bless you, prayer said for you.