T said he doesn't think i'm ready

[Crow]

Yep. What @EveHarrington said

 

[Deleted member 42783]

Stabilization.

Learning coping skills.

Meditation.

Dealing with current life stressors

Hmmmmm, I don't know that we are doing any of those right now. I wish we were doing something concrete. Every time I ask him for something to work on he asks me why do I think I need to work? Grrrrr. It's like he refuses to let me feel like I'm accomplishing anything.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hmmmmm, I don't know that we are doing any of those right now. I wish we were doing something concre...

I'm a bit confused.

Can you explain what a typical session looks like?

I once had a trauma therapist (who came with great credentials) who essentially wanted me to lead the sessions, i.e. discuss things like current life stressors, what I was dealing with in the past week, etc. Unfortunately I had nothing to say as my functioning at that point was practically zero and I was isolating. I wasn't sure what to say but knew I needed major symptom relief! It was basically can't sleep, constantly anxious.....HELP! It was a bit disappointing but in hindsight I'm glad I decided to part ways as her elitism just irritated the heck out of me. But I digress.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

@EveHarrington Okay, so most of what you just wrote rings true for me in my sessions. I often feel like he wants me to lead them and I often forget how to complete a sentence much less converse once we start talking about anything besides the weather. He is NOT elitist in any way but he's also not a trauma therapist. He is a general CBT mental health therapist who has training in DBT. He offered to transfer me to a trauma therapist after our first month together and I freaked and said I felt like he was abandoning me. (this is the first time I've tried real therapy). So instead he consults with that therapist about me on a regular basis. To be fair, he has had other patients with PTSD. Mostly teens not middle aged moms.

I often feel a little lost as to what we are accomplishing even though we have set clear goals. I am very therapy naive I guess. I have no idea what its supposed to look like. He has had me lightly discuss all my traumas which led my anxiety to ramp up so he backed off. Now we talk about symptoms, current life situations and medication. I want to feel like I'm learning something. Coping skills or grounding techniques. Something.

 

[Crow]

A lot of the core to trauma work is building a relationship with the therapist. Early work in therapy can seem boring and like a waste of time but it's seriously the foundation to good therapy. Sounds like you have a good therapist

 

[EveHarrington]

@EveHarrington Okay, so most of what you just wrote rings true for me in my sess...

Hmmm....all of the DBT and CBT Ive had was with a therapist who lead the sessions. I really do believe that these modalities lend themselves to therapist lead therapy as you're essentially analyzing thoughts/feelings and learning how to handle them. DBT has a workbook created for therapists that teaches them how to teach us DBT.

Maybe he's doing more of the psychoanalytic approach? (Which I personally don't find all that helpful as it doesn't give me much to work with.)

 

[Deleted member 42783]

Hmmm....all of the DBT and CBT Ive had was with a therapist who lead the sessions. I really do be...

He is not doing any true CBT/DBT right now. That I can tell. He hasn't given me any homework in the last ten weeks. When I ask him for some he asks me why I want it. This is funny to me because he has told me that he himself does CBT homework every week to keep himself on track.
Its funny. I feel like we have a good enough relationship. I've managed to tell him pretty much everything that I can think of.

 

[Crow]

I haven't done cbt but did a year of DBT. No way I could've gotten so much out of it without the work in regular therapy before. I saw so many people who hadn't done the foundational work come and leave DBT after a few weeks. They didn't have the skills. Maybe he's working on your patience?

 

[Deleted member 42783]

Maybe he's working on your patience?

Ha! Maybe. Lol. Lord knows I need some.

 

[Iamsensative]

Hi let me jump in. I decided with my therapist that maybe for me processing trsuma isnt what we focus on. If i hit bits and pieces ehen we ralk its ok. I had a breakdown and then stress put me there again. I need to focus on the here and now, i need to have that support when i open my mouth and so trauma memory hits. But i have to function, i need to get through everyday and learn to live with the regular every day stresses. I beat myself up for being a coward way too long, i relived things. For me its something i put on the back burner. I work in therapy on keeping stable and dealing with my triggers. Maybe someday or maybe not. Its what makes you feel better, less symptomatic and finding joy in life. Thats my goal. Dont abuse yourself, it already happened enough and go with the your gut. Wishing you much happiness and hope. :)

 

[donethat]

My long experience with EMDR can be summed up like this : EMDR opens up buried trauma. At that point the trauma is discussed and the therapist helps uncover any lies we believe because of trauma, etc. Therapist helps come up with a positive mantra that you can believe....and does the
emdr while you repeat it. If you abreact, you try a different one. My therapist never left me in the middle of a bad abreaction, or new uncovered trauma. That is her job...come up with positves that counter the bad left from the trauma....and keep doing emdr with the right mantra until the SUDS level is low. ( emotional pain comes down to a given level 1-10. I cant imagine a therapist stopping when you are in the middle of meltdown etc. THAT is their job....Leave you in better shape than when you walked in. That's my brief version. Love to chat if I can help.
It is straight forward just not easy. Do emdr while thinking about or picturing your trauma....see what the emdr brings up. Analyze that and find the lies bad thoughts that can be corrected. Pick a mantra to counter the bad....do emdr...changing mantras if needed until you feel better.....not worse. The big job of the therapist is to be there for the bad abreactions, be able to manage them and find the counter thoughts/pictures/truths to "reinstall" with the emdr.

And it can be a slow process. My therapist never got my "suds" level down as low as she wanted.....but it made a huge difference in my life. One may never be able to process some buried trauma as it can remain too painful. But progress can be made.