Have you ever decided not to see a therapist after the first session?

[Nessa7]

What reasons have you had for choosing to not continue with a therapist after the first or second session?

I was feeling pretty good about deciding to stop seeing her after typing all of this out. I keep second-guessing my judgement about if I've giving this therapist a fair chance, even though I made a second appointment and plan to stick with her until I see the other t I have a first appointment scheduled with. I would not be surprised if I end up doubting myself all over again, but at the moment these are my reasons for not continuing with this therapist:

-I had her look at the family medical history part of the forms she had me fill out, since I have a really extensive history of mental illness in my family. Also, my criterion A trauma is related to my dad's mental illness. She was completely skipping over it before I pointed it out to her. My paternal grandmother had agoraphobia. Even though we had already talked about the mental illnesses that I have, she somehow got confused and thought that I had agoraphobia or wasn't sure what agoraphobia was.

-She also wasn't sure what C-PTSD is.

-I wrote on my forms that one of the things that I wanted to work on was "managing dissociation." She seemed confused and had me give some examples. After I gave a non-specific example of spacing out and losing a bit of time, she told me "that it sounds like PTSD."

-She told me that "she got PTSD really easily when she was a kid."

-When I asked her if she was currently in therapy, she told me that she had never heard of a therapist being in therapy, and she thought that would make them a bad therapist because they shouldn't have anything to work on.

-She does healing touch. I'm not sure how I feel about trying it, but it was definitely not happening after the first appointment. I told her that I was feeling a bit prickly after going to a funeral, and she said that as soon as I said that she could see spikey things coming off of me. I feel like this one is me being skeptical and a bit judgey, but it felt inauthentic.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Omg the reddest flag of all red flags is that she "shouldn't have anything to work on". Run!!!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Yes. I got one that was way too quiet and .......Eastern European accent that made my brain ache. Just quit after one time and demanded someone else. Felt good for asking for what I needed instead.

Judging on what you've said about your one.....

she told me that she had never heard of a therapist being in therapy,

That ^ is very worrying....

And if it were me, I wouldn't go back to your therapist.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Yep. I had one doze off multiple times while I was talking.

Another treated the session like bible study and steadily quoted bible verses in response to inquiries.

Another who never made eye contact.

And another who spoke down to me in a heavy paternalistic tone.

Instant bad vibes. I chose not to return to them. I wish I would have had more energy at that time to have followed through with formal complaints, but I was too tapped out to manage another thing.

I agree about the red flag of her saying therapists shouldn't need therapy...yadda yadda....yeah....I'd keep looking if I were you. For sure.

I finally found my best talk therapy experience via the local sexual and domestic abuse shelter. I never felt that deeply understood and heard in any of the other attempts I made via insurance approved providers. The shelter offers their services free of charge.

 

[Sideways]

She told me that "she got PTSD really easily when she was a kid."

Up till this one... and then I actually laughed! It's not funny, it's kind of scary. She got ptsd a lot as a kid? Really?:O_o:

If you have ptsd? You kinda don't want to have to start with explaining what it is to your T. It would be reasonable to be looking for someone who was trauma informed in their therapeutic experience and approach. Makes a big big difference, and since you're paying for it, it's totally ok to be looking for a T who has that.

T's can specialise in all sorts of different areas, so giving this one the benefit of the doubt, maaaaybe she specialises in something completely different?? Whatever the case, your responsibility is to yourself, and to your recovery. So if you think a T isn't suitably qualified, find someone who is;)

 

[FauxLiz]

I have bailed on two therapists after a session or two. The first was a referral and I truly believed that based on the info provided we would be a great fit. It was all that I could do to make it through the first session. The T was on an oxygen tank that was so LOUD that I couldn't hear him and have no idea how he could hear me. The second T I bailed on after the 2nd session. The first I thought went well, he seemed well educated, empathetic and understanding. About half way through session 2 we were discussion his treatment plan for me and I freaked out. He wanted to see me 5 days a week, only had hours that fall out of the traditional business hours once a week and he didn't accept any insurances and would not assist with insurance paperwork. Based upon his fee rate and treatment plan I would have been paying him over half of my two week take home pay to cover a single week.

 

[Nessa7]

T's can specialise in all sorts of different areas, so giving this one the benefit of the doubt, maaaaybe she specialises in something completely different?? Whatever the case, your responsibility is to yourself, and to your recovery. So if you think a T isn't suitably qualified, find someone who is;)

Unfortunately, she told me that PTSD was her specialty.

She does at least seem to not have a lot of patients. Her office is set up so that you could easily see the full names of her patients and what insurance they have when she schedules appointments, but I didn't realize it until just now. I knew it would be wrong to look, and I guess I looked away a bit too hard and forgot about it completely.

I'm feeling much better about not wanting to see her again. After my appointment, you could see on my face that it hadn't gone well, and I think I talked a bit too much with people that don't have PTSD and have never been in therapy.

 

[Leah123]

I've interviewed many therapists and not returned for a second session. It's a job interview and not all the candidates will be competent, nor will they all be the right one for you! You are doubting yourself too much perhaps, those reasons sound ample to me, and don't discount gut instinct unless you have some history of serious self-sabotage when dealing with helpful people or something. Best of luck in your search. In my life, I've interviewed or done a session with about 15 therapists and seen 6 of them, three of those long term, i.e. more than a couple months.

 

[Sideways]

Between the confidentiality issues and the lack of apprarent qualification she almost sounds reportable. Either way, good choice to leave this one behind!

 

[EveHarrington]

Unfortunately, she told me that PTSD was her specialty.

95% of therapists will say PTSD is their "specialty". Seriously.

The truth is that most are generalists and dabble a little in a lot.

I think you have many reasons to run.

What are your reasons for wanting to stay?

Are you able to make pro/con lists and then make a rational decision?

 

[Friday]

I consider the first appointment an interview appointment (and usually book it as such).

The vast majority of my interview appointments? Are 1 & done. Never going to see them, again. Next! :D A few I've just been phenom lucky out the gate. But most it takes sifting through many candidates to find the person I really want to work with.

* I have ADHD & historically have moved a lot. Which all boils down to roughly 20 years of interviewing hundreds of therapists.

 

[joeylittle]

I would nope out of there with rapidity and not look back. You're making a good call.

I went once and never returned with one therapist. They may have been very good; I don't know. I was uncomfortable and it wasn't going to get any better. That was when I learned that I don't do the home-office thing very well, and it's really important to me that the therapist be willing and able to keep their spiritual beliefs away from the session.