What Makes You Angry Today?

[dutchiedelta]

Women!
Backstabbing conniving critters. Hard to say in your face what is what so hey ho, go behind a back.
Colleagues at work, all grown ups but scared as shite to confront a person in the face.

Grow up and grow a backbone or be smart and keep your mouth shut.
If you don't want trouble then don't say something. If you say something, expect a bloody answer.
It might not be what you like but take responsibility for your words ladies.

 

[Friday]

It's petty.

Every few years or so I go on a TV binge. Pull the laptop or tablet up in bed with me & seriously marathon out on Netflix. Every. Single. Damn. Show. has to have a PTSD Vet thing going on with it? FFS. No. Just no. Switch to another. f*ck. Switch to another. God dammit. This is the exact opposite of distracting.

 

[Friday]

I am not shouting. I am not raising my voice. I am not throwing things. I am not picking a fight & storming off. I am not telling my friends goodbye, or thank you, or I'm sorry. I am not deliberately burning bridges. Accidental like, well FFS, pick whatever damn metaphor you like about f*cking caring later.

Maybe it's as f*cking simple as getting spooked by hearing shrapnel through the trees when the propane tanks went boom the other night. Except I like that shit. Except there's nothing for me to f*cking do, and I hate that shit. Useless, pointless, f*ck me, bullshit.

I am being a motherf*cking child. Yeah my life is a f*cking mess, then goddamn fix it.

That's the not simple part.

My son is here for 10 days... And for the first time in my life I don't want him here. I want to f*cking go off the rails in peace. If it has to f*cking happen, it could at least happen where he doesn't have to see it. Suck it up. Gut up. HTFU, Friday. This ain't rocket science.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

You can do it my friend!!! You know deep inside what you feel for him. So......Love your son and give him the best 10 day ever......After he leaves, you can come down here and see if you can take on this old man. Face to Face, sounds like fun. Oh, I do fight dirty......LOL :)

 

[atilla]

Hang in there Sister, you got this..and when you're done with ODG, come on down south for a visit..soldier and jarhead pub ops :D

 

[dutchiedelta]

Come on girl, even when you cannot feel too much now, you *know* you love him enough to do everything for him.
Including playing happy-ish mommy for 10 days.
Fake it till he believes it. (this advise does not apply to lovers, btw)

It's a big war war fight with ourselves. Let the kiddos be the winners here.

 

[Grizzly]

I'm so tired of this anxiety. Can I deal with it? Hell yes! I do it every day! But the older I get the more it sucks. Constant worry about silly shit.

I want to be like this people...happy. Un-afraid.

I fear nothing. But fear myself more than anything. It's a lack of self confidence. And I can do anything I focus on. But why do I worry and stress so much. There's nothing left in me at the end of the day.

Another thing...I'm tired of never sleeping. I'm the walking dead most days. Sure I have pills for that. But they prevent good REM so what's the point. I feel worse after a pill.

What am I doing?

 

[vikingr24]

I am reading a great book about PTSD by one of the few psychiatrists in the VA who gives a shit. He says when a vet who has combat PTSD reaches the point where he/she feels secure and looks ahead to a future, the little things he/she worried about go away. Like you guys, I am not there yet but some day....

I still sleep with my combat knife by my bed but I counted all the knives around me when I sleep. Counted 3, all of them Parkerized and sharp as a razor.

That night I had one of the worst nightmare/flashbacks I have had. Have not slept since. I still see the side of a Jolly Green open to the moonlight and the watch sitting next to the .30 cal. trying not to fall asleep. Then a shadow comes in through the moonlight and I can't get up to shoot. I am almost to REM sleep where your muscles go rigid and won't move. But in the bedroom nothing happens. So I wait and keep saying, these meds are not working. The sweat breaks out and the pillow gets wet. And the next day is a mental merry-go-round of anxiety/depression/panic/ and being generally pissed off. I am getting over it though, gradually. I will conquer this shit.

 

[atilla]

You WILL conquer it Brother, It's what we do. It takes me a few days to "recover" from one of those, feel shaky as hell for awhile. It's hard to get the images and the feeling of being "there" out of my head. The damn night sweats are annoying..I have hair to the middle of my back..like waking up with a soaking wet blanket wrapped around my head. A medic told me that if you sleep naked, it reduces the sweats...tried it , it works most of the time.Charlie Mike!

 

[Grizzly]

if you sleep naked, it reduces the sweats...tried it , it works most of the time.

TMI...TMI

 

[combatgoldfish]

It's not man love Monday!

 

[atilla]

hahahaha f*ckers..:)