I Feel...

[Raven]

hey I don't pay them any mind, but its nice to know that someone cares. Currently i have found a new person and we just had our first argument, i contemplated taking her home...but its only been about three weeks so im thinking about giving her the put up or pull out conversation. because i dont want to hurt her, but i know eventually i will, its the nature of the beast. but i know that im in for a hurt locker so i dont open up emotionally, because its easier that way, she needs attention, i need attention, she needs validation, like i need validation, but i also need my space and she doesn't understand that yet. shes a late bloomer, but none of it will mean jack if i break up with her.

Telling her "this is how I am and you need to either deal with it or bail" will do little good for you or her. I've tried pulling that card, and look where it got me: alone. The one asshole who was willing to put up with the Beast turned out to be crazy, so he's gone indefinitely too. You shouldn't default to blaming others for not "getting" you. It's a two-way road. She thinks you're distant and you think she's clingy. I'm sure you two can compromise. I just wish it hadn't taken me so damn long to stop being allergic to that word.

 

[RTO]

I feel guilty quite a bit.

 

[BX_JarHed]

Telling her "this is how I am and you need to either deal with it or bail" will do little good for you or her. I've tried pulling that card, and look where it got me: alone. The one asshole who was willing to put up with the Beast turned out to be crazy, so he's gone indefinitely too. You shouldn't default to blaming others for not "getting" you. It's a two-way road. She thinks you're distant and you think she's clingy. I'm sure you two can compromise. I just wish it hadn't taken me so damn long to stop being allergic to that word.

Raven,

you are absolutely right it is definitely a two-way Road, So far it's been a little over five months and I have been tempted in way too many times to the point where I have set up hookups with my exes and flaked at the last minute. She's still here although I think that she feels as if I'm only interested in sex. I feel very opposite, when she is with me I can't help but to want to be with her as a reason not to cheat. I feel like I'm playing both ends of the field as if I have another woman who knowingly puts up with me and accepts my flaws. I feel like I'm being superficial because I know that she isn't the prettiest and she isn't the ugliest but I know that if I left her for someone who was the prettiest more than likely I would lose the concern for me. She is a standup gal, she isn't the sharpest needle in the bunch but she certainly isn't the dullest, my biggest fear is that I will sabotage this relationship as I have done with other relationships because she is good to me. I asked her for a break because part of me wanted to take a step back from her and also reevaluate the situation (my situation/her situation). She has caught me red-handed flirting with my exes and I assured her that it was only playing around. Then I got mad at her for going through my phone and banned her from my Facebook page. I told her to leave my phone alone because when you go searching for something you almost certainly find it. I want to say that she is a pushover but if I said that I would be lying she most definitely has some very interesting characteristics and her personality but I feel as if her own situation has impeded her psychosocial growth. She has very low self-esteem and I believe that she gets it from her family who are always downing her. I'm using this post to work out how I feel about her situation and how it applies to my situation and what I can do to positively change her situation without removing her from the situation. I feel very strongly about her but I feel as if my feelings for her are not meeting the timelines I am used to. I have yet to say I love her which I haven't even thought to come close to saying whereas in other relationships by the second or third week it would be slipping from my lips, and by the third month it would just be.I feel like I have a good girl but I'm looking for a good woman and even though I know a good girl can mature into a good woman I don't know why I keep looking even though I know my grass is green. She is very impressionable and I'm always staying aware of that additionally she's very open-minded which is why to say that she is a pushover would be a lie. In the middle of the relationship so far I did say that she was a pushover but now I realize that I was taking her kindness for weakness. Now, as I contemplate where I am and where she is and identifying her strengths. She wears her heart on her sleeve in which I am not used to dealing with someone like her I feel like every day is a learning experience. She's a very homely woman and I'm going to do everything I can not to lose her even though I feel she's starting to become a little bit disinterested.