Location exposure - why did you go & did it help you?

[Ronin]

Every time I went back to places, I f*cked myself up for months, as the least, to put it mildly.

So another of those 'do not recommend' campers but it if it helps you with closure, good for you. :)

 

[Muted]

@Ronin it helped me with closure after I worked through it in therapy. But, my main traumas are different.

 

[Ronin]

But, my main traumas are different.

Yeah, I suppose that plays quite a big role, what your traumas with those places were & age they happened in.

 

[Naoru]

I am humbled by all of your feedback and support, and that of my therapists. :notworthy:

There was a time when returning to the scene of this rape was unimaginable - as like many of you, it was not just the assault itself but also its traumatic aftermath to face - but going through the intense dedicated cycles of healing over the last year and a half helped me prepare for this experience.

And quite an experience it was.

Absolutely terrible, relived everything ... yet somehow ... beautiful. I went armed with visualizations, my dog :inlove:, and a declaration of sorts inspired by this thread printed and ready to leave behind on a bulletin, free for trashing. However, an unintentional observer witnessed my actions and spoke of my bravery - requested to share my story with two current survivors they know. So I left my writings with them in hopes it could provide the help I had not received ... maybe help show they are not alone.

The positivity I met on Friday will help overwrite bits and pieces of the horror I once faced. No one has ever spoken to me or showed such devotion as they did this week.

I have plans to meet with T soon and continue to expose myself to this location before I leave. Hopefully, that will be met with less and less intensity. And honestly, I cannot say closure turned out to be one of the things I feel. Not yet.

My head is still too overrun to respond to each of you coherently, but you all have helped push me forward, through Friday and all of its aftermath. Managing so far. But we all have different healing paths. You all have my admiration and deepest gratitude. :notworthy::hug:

 

[Renee]

Hi
I just recently went to visit the first foster home that I was in from 2 and half to 6 and a half years of age. The most horrible things happened to me there. To awful and graphic for me to write about this on here.
I am in therapy right now 3 times a week. I told my T that I was going and he didn't say anything one way or another. I can't explain why I wanted to go. Just something inside me told me to go and face my fears. When I got to the house it was like I was in a shock or dream state. I just sat on the front porch for awhile soaking it all in. As I left there there were some bushes at the bottom of the front yard. I started digging and digging I found a big rock and without thinking I threw it into the yard and yelled " I hate you" Then I got in the car and drove away. I had a therapy appointment later that day. And I just broke down and the most gut wrenching sobbing started and I just started to finally feel and start to talk about things that happened there. It's been now about 3 weeks since I went there and my feelings are still are raw but I am able to function good. This experience for me has opened a pandoras box so to say. For me I needed to go and it has pushed my therapy along and got me to open up. I personally don't think it is a good idea unless you have a very good support system and the coping skills to deal with it. If those are not in place I suggest be careful, it can shake you to the core of your inner self and bring out so so much all at once. Good luck if you go. I can understand why you would want to do it. Hugs

 

[Renee]

Hi
I just recently went to visit the first foster home that I was in from 2 and half to 6 and a half year...

I see that you did go. That it is helping you and you have great support which is so important. You are brave. Good for you

 

[Naoru]

It is interesting how we are driven to do various things ... Some healing progress was done with my experience ... no cure but a definite shift. Very grateful for my therapists. And I might even agree with you now - I am brave. We all are.

Thank you for sharing @Renee. I hope others do as well, positive or negative outcomes.