MVA Motorcycle Accidents

[Esterio]

I'm sorry it is bringing you flashbacks. It does that to me telling the little I know. It is not as hard as it was before I knew what was waking me in the night.
I am trying to find online therapy maybe a group as there is no choices here that I can afford. I live on disability so not much money.
No I am a male sorry. glad to hear you and your husband like motor cycles. I don't do any thing a round motor cycles any more.
It is hard to come up with the right feelings when someone is fighting cancer it really screws with your mind it is a big stressor. I spent 8 years looking after my Mom and 3 years looking after my dad and went though some tense invents and had to make decisions for them it played all kinds of games with my head. I just turned into a zombi and did as best as I could they both thanked me for everything I was able to do for them.
It is not late here it is 9:45pm. to sleep I have had to set a bed time and a get up time and try hard to stick to it. My sleep is of a better quality by doing that and I am getting a little more all the time. In the last 3 months I have taken my sleep time from 2:00am to now I go to bed at 11:00pm I still get up a little after 6:00am. I use a fit bit to track my sleep and the quality is increasingly getting better.
I am sorry your experience at work after becoming disabled is the same as mine.
Nice chatting with you also. I am around a couple of times a day and I get notices to my email for messages. I can't go online with my phone much as service is not very good and I don't have a lot of data.
You can PM with me also if you want.
Peace be safe. I hope you get some sleep

 

[Jules]

are you in a different country ?
Jules

 

[Jules]

Also - was thinking of ordering that book that i see on the page your post is written - is it good ?

 

[Rosewater]

Also - was thinking of ordering that book that i see on the page your post is written - is it good ?[/QUO...

Hi @Jules & @Esterio. Sorry I missed your messages. Not sure if there's much I can add to the discussion.

Recently, I've been using some compassion therapy books as well as doing more EMDR. The EMDR has been very effective, it has brought a lot of stuff back up and allowed me to see it and deal with it to a reasonable degree. My therapist says we need a few more sessions, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

The two books I have been using have also been helpful, although it's hard work to process all the memories and reactions. They are:

1. This workbook, which I have just finished. I found it really helpful, especially in dealing with overwhelming feelings & trying to get my life back on track. It has helped me come to terms with the fact my life is different as a result of the PTSD etc, which I had been finding difficult and distressing : Dead Link Removed

2. This is one I'm working through now. It really explains things in a better way than most other things I've read & I've read most of the main PTSD books available in the UK !: Dead Link Removed

Take care

Hi mine was a motorcycle accident - how you doing now ?
Jules
x

Hi, just saw you addressed this to me. I'm sort of ok...

It's been a hard couple of years. At the moment I'm trying to get back into working & that's bringing up a lot of challenges. Through having EMDR I am more comfortable driving again & have got on top of all the panic reactions I was having without really even being aware of. I'm still not so good as a passenger - we haven't worked on that much yet. There's no way I can go back on a bike though, my reactions and sensitivity aren't reliable enough & I just don't want to take any chances of hurting myself again.

The main problem I'm trying to manage is how unstable my emotions and feelings are. Doing mindfulness and meditation really makes a big difference. Without it I feel terrible and I find it difficult to discipline myself to do it every day, especially when the family are around in the house.

I'm hoping that when I start working again I will have more sense of doing something constructive & that I will know better how to manage my time and stress so that I stay relatively stable.

I am sorry to hear about your mum. Don't be too hard on yourself for not feeling what you "should" - there's no such thing. Self criticism and numbed feelings are a big part of PTSD, so what you're experiencing is normal for what you've been through. You only have do what you can & make sure you take care of yourself in between.

take care

 

[Jules]

Hi there, Jules here.
Thank you for that - i will have a look at the books,i am wondering if i can get them in audio
Kindest
Jules
x

 

[Rosewater]

Hi there, Jules here.
Thank you for that - i will have a look at the books,i am wondering if i can get th...

I haven't seen them in audio book form.

In any case, if you are getting the workbook I really recommend you get the book - it's full of lots of exercises and you write them in the book, which is A4 sized. That helped me a lot more than just reading or listening.

 

[Jules]

Tank you, i will give it a go.
Kind regards
Jules

 

[Aidan]

Hi there, Aidan here.

I'm new here. Glad to have found this site. I had a motorcycle accident 2 and a half years ago. Had 2 surgeries, but before that I had a bus accident like 15 years back and I had one surgery. The newest surgeries was on the same injury and on a new one, make it 2...
I was awake during those surgeries. I'm still unable to talk about everything, I'm sorry. Even about the accident. I can't ride a bike anymore. Can't even bring myself to imagine how it feels to be on it again.

I don't have a therapist, I can't sleep..the nightmares are too real. Woke up around 3-4am every night, crying, shaking and too scared to go back to sleep. I've lost the time when was the last good night sleep I've had since 2 and a half years ago. Had flashbacks a lot and when I do have it, it's like time stops and I was back on the motorbike. I had flashbacks while I'm driving, and stopped my car on the side road to pull myself back away from those memories.

I just found out about PTSD recently, not much knowledge about it. I thought my nightmares and flashbacks would go away but it's been more than a year. I look into the net and found out about PTSD. And I don't know what triggered these flashbacks..

Is it really needed to have a therapist? To see a specialist on this? I'm sorry, if my posts bring any bad memories to all of you but I really don't have anywhere or anyone to know about this. I'm not from US or UK, I'm from Southeast Asia. And I'm sorry if my English is not that good.

Hope everything is great for you,
Aidan

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi Aidan. Self-diagnosis is never a good idea, so seeing a qualified trauma professional is super important. If these symptoms have been bothering you for over a year, the chances they'll simply go away without treatment are slim. Your English is excellent. I hope you make an account here. By the way, don't worry about triggering other members here; this is the place to talk about the hard things.

 

[Esterio]

Hi there, Aidan here.

I'm new here. Glad to have found this site. I had a motorcycle accident 2 and a half years ago. H...

Hi Aidan welcome you have landed in a good place to help you find the answers you are seeking. I am sorry for your trauma reading what you are going though is tuff but it is not triggering to me right now but that can change in a heartbeat. I can deal with that and so can most here this is a place you can say what ever you need to. I can relate to everything you say. I had a serious bike wreck in 1976 And had all the same problems as you and maybe a few more I had massive head injuries. I was awake for the first surgery one of the few things I remembered but not much I remember being there.
Therapy can help a lot if you can repossess the trauma and understand what happened.I went for thirty years before I tried to get help. I have been told dealing with it soon is better than later you maybe able to get some therapy and work through it. I have very little memories of the accident. I would agree with simply simon self diagnoses is not any good you should find a qualified therapist to help you.
Nothing wrong with your english it is every bit understandable. I hope you join us as a member this is a good place to start lots good people here to share your experiences with and get feed back.
Peace be safe welcome
contact me any time if you want to talk

 

[Aidan]

Hi Aidan. Self-diagnosis is never a good idea, so seeing a qualified trauma professional is super i...

Thank you for your reply. I went to see my surgeon and told him I still have nightmares and everything after the accident. He was shocked and was the one who told me about PTSD... I've also asked a nurse from a nearby hospital about my condition, she was furious because I kept it to myself for too long. She emphasized it to me before telling me about PTSD too. Since then, I've been reading a lot about this. The perks of going in and out of the hospital, I became friends with my surgeon, physiotherapist and nurses. They've been a great help to me...but, I couldn't talk to them about it. My family and friends are awesome too but, I'm unable to say a word to them either.

The thing is, PTSD's not very well-known in my side of the country. I've been reading about it through websites from US, UK, Australia and others. I've been doing everything in my power to have a good night sleep, at least. But failed abruptly. So now, I've been staying up late..like right now it's already 4 a.m here. I'd be too tired to have a dream and sleep would come to me but fatigue is inevitable. But at least I could sleep. I'm not working full time, did some freelance job as much as I could. My injuries are healing but not fully recovered. I tried to start working full time but on my third day, I fell down and brought back to the hospital. My surgeon and everyone back at the hospital was going crazy about it and since then, I work from home.

I was doing my degree but have to quit because of my injuries. That took a toll on me. I was an independent person but now, I am not. I took refuge in words, I read a lot and write. I've been writing about my nightmares, flashbacks and these painful memories. I've only started it recently and it was hard. Super duper hard even just to write it down without me breaking up entirely inside and pick up the pieces back together. Every time. But, I've managed to write it down. That's progress, right? Lol. I'm not sure if I'd show it to anyone, or even if I could bring myself to show it but I've written it in details. Every part of it, none was left out. Not even a little bit. I'm continuing it, at least I could pour it out even on papers. At least, I could write it in details. Everything about it.

Is it true, that talking about it would help? Like telling someone about it? But what if in my case, I couldn't...I can't talk about it? I tried and failed. I did so many times that I've lost count of it. And do you mind telling me about your sleep? Do you still have nightmares?

Thank you for saying my English is excellent, it's not my native language but I'm doing all right, I guess. :)
And I'll sign up as a member later, thank you.

Hi Aidan welcome you have landed in a good place to help you find the answers you are seeking. I am sor...

Yeah, I really am glad for finding this site. It's a first for me to join a forum. Especially about PTSD which is still foreign to me. Thank you for being so kind, you and Simply Simon. It's refreshing to have people who share your experience and understand without a need to explain any further.

I was awake and aware of those surgeries. Every single one of them. I'm having some side effects from getting anesthesia, but I'll live so it's okay. Just these nightmares, flashbacks and painful memories that I'm not very good with.

I'll start searching for a therapist as soon as I can. Thank you for your reply, both of you. It's highly appreciated indeed. :)
And I'll sign up as a member. Definitely will do that. I'm off to bed now, it's way past my bedtime. Thank you once again for helping me out.

 

[Jules]

Hello Aidan and welcome.
I have from Newcastle upon Tyne in North East England.
The people here are full of good advice - its a great forum.

Kindest Regards to you.

Jules
PS: mine was a motorcycle accident 7 years ago this October