Throwing children to the bears

[Justmehere]

My mother told me once that if I ever go hiking alone, I should hike near a family with small children. She said that if a bear comes, I can save my own life by outrunning the children.

What would your response be?

She wasn't joking. She is a trauma survivor, and survive is what she does...

 

[Neverthesame]

Honestly I'd laugh, because I can't imagine anyone could say that as anything other than gallows humour, which I'm fond of.

But, seeing as it wasn't a joke.
I'd respond by telling her I'd tie her shoes together so the kids can outrun her.

I hope that's not out of line.

 

[Justmehere]

Yeah she wasn't joking and I've known her so long, like um, my whole life, that it doesn't even surprise me anymore. It should surprise me. This is really screwed up...

She says, with all seriousness, that when she sees plane crashes it makes her feel better abou flying because it statistically means it is less likely it will be her plane that will be the one that crashes. She is terribly scared of flying (her abuser was a pilot) and this is how she deals with onaes crashing.

I usually try to turn these comments into jokes and she will laugh, but still repeat these things later with all seriousness and as advice for others.

This is my mother.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I usually try to turn these comments into jokes and she will laugh, but still repeat these things later with all seriousness and as advice for others.

This is my mother.

I feel so sad reading this, @Justmehere . Your mom really could benefit from some kind of help to free her from what I think is a mental prison in her mind. Just my thoughts.

 

[ladee]

I also like dark humor, but knowing she said this in seriousness, i would be appalled and be damn grateful as a child you never came across any bears..... but guess you are used to it, but makes it no less disgusting... How many emotional scars do you have until you were old enough to discern for yourself??

 

[Justmehere]

My mother laughs at others jokes but doesn't actually ever crack jokes herself now that I think about it.

Dark humor I get. This? I don't understand. It's like a total lack of empathy --- except when she's being codependent.

I feel worried too, and wonder if I have learned some of this behavior myself. Most everyone I know says I'm highly empathetic.

Huh, now that I think about it, my mother says I'm am too empathetic. "Even as a baby." Wtf.

 

[ladee]

Doesn't matter how you are empathetic... just be grateful you are wired that way... probably saved your life on the one hand and her words cut harder at the same time.... one of those times to be grateful we are not like the people who raised us... as i am grateful I am nothing like my sperm donor..... amazing when we look at our parents and wonder, as many of us do, if we were adopted... because i am nothing like my family. Thank the Universe !!!!

 

[Justmehere]

Thank you @ladee - your response helped me smile during a difficult morning. :)

 

[scout86]

Because I tend to have a dark sense of humor, I might go with "Gee, I'm glad I'm not YOUR kid....Oh wait, I am!" Although I like the shoe laces thing too. And, I have to confess, I've had a similar thought about the statistics surrounding plane crashes. I see that as quite different from wanting kids around in case you need to feed the bears though.

 

[Justmehere]

Because I tend to have a dark sense of humor, I might go with "Gee, I'm glad I'm not YOUR kid....Oh wait, I am!"

Hahaha - I love it!

I think you make a fair point with the plane crashes. It is a bit different.

 

[gealach]

Most kids can out run the adults around them, so she might not have the best strategy there. Really you just have to be faster than the slowest person around you ... this applies to outrunning zombies too. And maybe aliens.

 

[Justmehere]

Hahahaha that's a great point!