whiteraven
Diamond Member
...that this will pass. That the depression I feel will not last forever. They have all kinds of suggestions for me to feel better assuming, I guess, that I haven't tried anything - or that I have the energy to try absolutely everything - and, while I appreciate the attempts to help, I've grown weary of the seeming lack of understanding for where I actually am with this depression. From everyone. Medical doctors, my therapist, everyone.
I've experienced anxiety since I was about 5 and I remember being depressed and suicidal in 9th grade (although it was likely long before that, I just don't have much of a memory before that). I've suffered multiple traumas over the years, going back to age 3, some repetitive and others single large-scale ones and, although I've had short periods when life was not horrible, I have been mostly battling depression for many, many years.
I've been on many different anti-depressants, atypical antipsychotic/antidepressant combinations. I've found some relief on a couple of them, for a limited time, then they stopped working. I've done ACT, CBT, MBSR, and am currently doing DBT (although as with everything else, one has to be able to open the book in order to read it). I've exercised, I've tried a diet change, I recently went to a functional medicine doctor with the hope that he would review my medical and mental health history and help me come up with a plan to tackle the depression (I have a complicated medical history) and that ended up being a total disaster. I'm also taking a course right now that is moderated by a psychologist that incorporates a variety of different techniques, but is predominantly spiritually based. That is probably the thing I find the most beneficial in helping me stabilize, as it uses mindfulness in all of its lessons. But, as with everything else, I find it very difficult to keep up.
Thanks for hearing me. Sorry this was a book.
I've experienced anxiety since I was about 5 and I remember being depressed and suicidal in 9th grade (although it was likely long before that, I just don't have much of a memory before that). I've suffered multiple traumas over the years, going back to age 3, some repetitive and others single large-scale ones and, although I've had short periods when life was not horrible, I have been mostly battling depression for many, many years.
I've been on many different anti-depressants, atypical antipsychotic/antidepressant combinations. I've found some relief on a couple of them, for a limited time, then they stopped working. I've done ACT, CBT, MBSR, and am currently doing DBT (although as with everything else, one has to be able to open the book in order to read it). I've exercised, I've tried a diet change, I recently went to a functional medicine doctor with the hope that he would review my medical and mental health history and help me come up with a plan to tackle the depression (I have a complicated medical history) and that ended up being a total disaster. I'm also taking a course right now that is moderated by a psychologist that incorporates a variety of different techniques, but is predominantly spiritually based. That is probably the thing I find the most beneficial in helping me stabilize, as it uses mindfulness in all of its lessons. But, as with everything else, I find it very difficult to keep up.
Thanks for hearing me. Sorry this was a book.
