Harsh truths you now see because of ptsd

[The Albatross]

"In a neighborhood, as in life, a clean bandage is much, much better than a raw or festering wound." ~ Edward Koch

I think this is a good topic, but not maybe for the reasons you may have started it.

 

[Chitoshi]

I learned that being nice and being "walked on" are completely different things. One can be nice and not get taken advantage of, because what the heck, I have a life too. I learned that I need to look out for myself first, others second. I learned that you can't trust everyone, and to look at people through a suspicious lens. I learned you can't always take others at face value.

I trust too much or I trust too little, I have no in-between dial. I'm working towards finding that happy medium.

 

[EveHarrington]

I love this. Someone trots out a story about a deaf/mute parapalegic with cancer and I'm supposed to...

The deaf/mute paraplegic with cancer line has me cracking up. Lol.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I learned that I was nothing after being diagnosed. I learned that people will always disappoint me, I learned that one can be destroyed by ignorant people many times in life. Betrayal is real and happens quite often. I learned that religion is a farce for many but God is real. Churches can become traps in the wrong ones. Predators look like normal people. Families with secrets do not like their boats rocked at all and fight to keep the secrets and scapegoat the truth seekers.

I learned to be alone. I learned that I was so messed up by my family and prepared to be the perfect victim and suffered accordingly. I learned that I have to rely upon myself .

 

[user44376]

"In a neighborhood, as in life, a clean bandage is much, much better than a raw or festering wound...

School me. Show me why it's good and where I may have lost direction.

No joke. I'm here to learn.

 

[Friday]

What are some things that PTSD confirmed about your less-pleasant opinions of people and life; or, conversely, did PTSD show you new ugly truths in the behaviour of others, or just how damn unfair the universe can be?

Nope. Not really. My having PTSD doesn't change other people. They're still just people, doing people things, in people ways. My capacity to deal with people may have changed, but the people themselves are as they always were; good, bad, indifferent.

Now, we wanna jump into trauma itself? There I learned a lot about people. Most of it is fairly neutral, however. Things like anyone is capable of anything, given the right set of circumstance. Or that no one who hasn't done a thing knows how they're going to actually act/react until they've done it (how people think they would, or would want to, and what they actually do? Often very different animals). Mostly wisdom of the ages, shit, that's been said thousands of times, in thousands of ways, for thousands of years. Is some of it dark as f*ck? For sure. Others? Brilliant and dazzling. Shrug. Lessons learned in a crucible tend toward the simple & extreme. They aren't always right, especially outside of that crucible, but they have the benefit of clarity.

 

[Rani G2]

Mostly wisdom of the ages, shit, that's been said thousands of times, in thousands of ways, for thousands of years. Is some of it dark as f*ck? For sure. Others? Brilliant and dazzling. Shrug. Lessons learned in a crucible tend toward the simple & extreme. They aren't always right, especially outside of that crucible, but they have the benefit of clarity.

Going to write these words down!

 

[The Albatross]

School me. Show me why it's good and where I may have lost direction.

No joke. I'm here to learn.[/...

Okay, please note the formula for post traumatic growth and also that it is an internal process brought about by time, effort, and consistency. Does it mean that all important relationships are reestablished? Eh, no... but it means that there is an awful lot of internal work to be done before a person forms core beliefs and a more generally beneficial way of living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder than sucking on bitterness.

“First, the physiological symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder have been brought within manageable limits. Second, the person is able to bear the feelings associated with traumatic memories. Third, the person has authority over her memories; she can elect both to remember the trauma and to put memory aside. Fourth, the memory of the traumatic event is a coherent narrative, linked with feeling. Fifth, the person's damaged self-esteem has been restored. Sixth, the person's important relationships have been reestablished. Seventh and finally, the person has reconstructed a coherent system of meaning and belief that encompasses the story of trauma.” (Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror "

 

[user44376]

....Okay, please note the formula for post traumatic growth and also that it is an internal process brought about by time, effort, and consistency. Does it mean that all important relationships are reestablished? Eh, no... but it means that there is an awful lot of internal work to be done before a person forms core beliefs and a more generally beneficial way of living with Post Traumatic Stress....

Of course. And I believe that people who would fall into our world tend to be fairly self-aware and realize that before they start trying to reenter the mainstream of life they need to focus on their own problems and try to grow and cope.

No matter how well they get along with that, at various stages of rebuilding one's brain, misanthropy is gonna kick in or come roaring back. It's inevitable. I've never been a social butterfly, but in the last six months I've never felt such disgust towards human beings. How we've learned nothing from history. We're making all the same mistakes. I read tons of history. I can't understand how everyone isn't a misanthrope?

I'm just trying to deal with mine and find some tiny room for others. I just wish people wouldn't make it so easy to loathe them.

 

[Scarlet13]

My childhood made me vulnerable to allowing people to treat me like shit.

My experiences that caused PTSD taught me to be good at surviving in tough places, to put up with a lot of crap (patience), to be an excellent observer of people (emotions, facial expressions, motivations) and to look for resources.

 

[Vinnie]

I've learned to read people and understand people better. See them for what they are: human. It may surprise some by those people who are ruthless and A-holes have very jacked up senses of self worth and hurt just like we do.
Start by doing something small for someone and see if they repay it. Then try bigger and so on. Believe it or not, there's more of us than anyone knows. We're out there, just gotta find each other.
Most usually other helpful, good people are covered by users. It's hard to see them.
My wife and I have covered ourselves in users and getting loose from them is like removing tar from asphalt. I've reached the point where I'll be damned if they take my happiness. I'll still help and be there for people....... just a little more cautiously in the future

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm learning to not let other people's behavior affect my mood or behavior. That's their issue. There are good people. There are people who do things that trigger me, but it's not their fault I have triggers. I work on the triggers that are brought up in my life so I'm not always triggered. I look for things that are red flags, so I know to calm myself, or bring along my coping skills. I'm not great at it, but I have an illness I can learn to control. I don't let diabetes kill me because sweet things make my blood sugar high. I avoid them, or make plans to eat something sweet and curtail other carbs so I can enjoy them. After awhile, the desire for sweet things goes away. The same for me with PTSD. I used to worry about my triggers and be upset with people or situations that triggered me, but I learned to identify the triggers and their precursors so I was better equipped to handle them. Now I am not triggered so easily. I do things that could be triggering, by meditating, calming myself and using coping mechanisms so I can enjoy more of life. I can't remember a time when I didn't have PTSD, so maybe it's different for me. I am doing what @The Albatross stated, and my life is so much better than 5 years ago. A lot different, but a lot better.