General Hug A Carer Thread

[gentle_breeze]

This is a not so serious post...a not so painful post..

I just wanted to say to all the carers out there

you are special, you are amazing, You are committed and loyal

You are loved...

Sometimes us carers dont hear that enough..so I may be a stranger and it may not be the words spoken from the one you want to hear it from the most...but every bit of the above is true....

So this thread is make a carer feel good thread....because some days we just need it.

 

[dust]

Yo! Go carers go!

 

[CCurry]

Hi Gentle,

Thanks for the smile and it came just in time because I REALLY needed one!

Carmela

 

[armygf]

Oh thank you, I needed to hear this.

A few weeks ago, I got upset with my gf because I felt like she couldn't see how much I was doing for her, and she hadn't ever said thank you. My girlfriend, who is in the army, got three weeks of leave to recover from a shoulder surgery and visited me. I bought her really good tickets to two concerts of her favorite singer, I took her on two minivacations to places that she wanted to go and booked and paid for the hotels, I paid for her ticket to see me and drove her all the way home (1000 miles away), I stocked my fridge and kitchen so that she would have stuff to eat that she liked while I was working so she didn't have to go out, I got her a playstation 3 because I would be working and I don't have cable so I wanted something for her to do, and she hadn't said thank you to me for anything. I like doing things for her, providing for her, but it all came to a head when there was a football game on that I really wanted to watch and had been looking forward to all week and she told me we had to change the channel because her anxiety was bad and she needed something better to focus on. I snapped and was all like "What about me? I've done nothing but be supportive and provide for you and you haven't said thank you once and now all I want is to watch this damn football game and you can't even give me that!" I realize it was the wrong way of going about things, but it was good in the end because ever since then she has said thank you a whole lot more and I've learned not to let things build up so bad.

Anyway, though, I was feeling a bit under appreciated for a while, so it is great to hear thank you. :)

 

[helena]

Thank you,

I often feel a fake - I don't really know what I am doing, I don't always have patience and I don't really understand anything.

Sometimes I think he would be better off with someone else - and that isn't me feeling sorry for myself, I am saying it from an objective point of view.

I keep looking to 'fix' things because that is my nature and the hardest part is probably accepting that there is no 'fix' to mental illness - however it has been caused.

I get scared a lot too...

 

[LoveWins]

:Hug_emoticon: to all the carers here
You all deserve it so much

You are only human, but you are some of the most compassionate, patient, understanding, open-minded and loving humans. To stick by someone suffering like me, you have to be

Thank you

 

[amethist]

Hi Helena.

We carers get scared a lot, especially when our sufferer's are in crisis mode, it's 8 pm, it's the weekend, NHS help line is on answer phone mode and the Crisis Resolution Team say you have to go through the NHS to be referred back to them.

What the F$£@ are we supposed to do, we get scared, we sometimes panic quietly to our selves, but we get them through it.

You get better at handling it with practice.

Then on Monday you go back to work, and someone asks you what you did at the weekend. Have you ever tried to explain this to them, they look at you as if you have just landed from outer space.

This is the point that I some times feel a fake, because people who do not understand look at you as if you are making it all up.

Some one once asked me to explain to them about ptsd, I told them that I could spend all day trying to explain, but unless they were a sufferer, a carer or a therapist, then they would never understand. Some stopped asking after that, but some still do understand how tough it is to look after someone who is ill and work full time.

Why do we do it, because we can, we care and we want to.

Amethist

 

[Tinyflame]

Amethist- and all you 'guys'- thank you for being such kind, understanding, non-judgmental, and compassionate sweet people.

-You surely must be some of the most precious people on Earth.-
:Hug_emoticon:

 

[Tinyflame]

-I thought of this I had to add:

I don't have a "carer", per se, and I haven't told anyone about this (ptsd). But that being said, that doesn't mean I haven't benefitted (immensely) through "caring" people.

It's so absolutely amazing to me, considering how I feel and act sometimes, and how difficult it is sometimes for me to even understand what the 'heck is happening to me', that people can cut you the slack, be supportive.

And it helps reduce a lot of self-rejection I think.
It makes all the difference in the world.
:smile:

 

[lonetree]

thank you Gentle,
helina, amethist and the others, I know where your coming from. I feel so lost sometimes. What should I do to best help. Is it me or something I'm doing or am I right on the money. Did I go to far or not far enough.
As a ground I keep this in the back of my mind. Four therapists would not treat my SO out of fear of her symptoms. The one she goes to now is trying to learn about it so she can treat it. WTF!!
Wright or wrong if I did not do anything and everything I could there would be nothing. As carers I don't really know if we're that far behind the "pros" and my hat's off to all of you.

 

[Jawn]

Thanks gentle_breeze, this post is very appreciated and you are right on the money that we don't hear it enough.

Jawn

 

[Tessa]

Thankyou all for caring. I would not be here if my husband was not a carer. We also care for a daughter with PTSD and I know what it is like to dread every phone call and wonder if she will be alive in the morning.

God bless all carers. You do not send us out when time is up or the nights are too long or we cry a million tears...

THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart : )