Other Narcissism?

[BoN-bOn]

Mainstream America has claimed narcissism as the latest and "greatest" (haha) psychological ailme...

I agree. Anyone can make things "fit" their own personalities. & I guess my attitude should be "so be it..." it's just hard when you suffer from so much pain &those who caused the suffering don't seem to be suffering a bit.

 

[EveHarrington]

@EveHarrington l never set out to get my needs met, jus try & survive day to day &...

Your needs are SO important! High on the priority list! You deserve to have needs and to have those needs taken care of! :hug:

 

[Sheila_a]

I think because I'm realizing how much narcissism I've been surrounded by my entire life, I'm so parano...

Dear BoN-bOn,

making healing ourselves a priority is the single and most un-selfish thing in the world we can do. It is a pre-requisite for all the steps to follow: Like unfolding our full potential which then allows us to contribute what we can to the world and make it a warmer place, no matter how small or big the circle we'll reach might be. We're in the best position to do so ONLY, when we've learned to love ourselves. And that means healing ourselves.

Don't listen to the misconceptions this society is trying to make us believe in.


https://www.myptsd.com/members/bon-bon.37390/

 

[WhiteHatGirl]

I personally feel like I have an attraction to Narcissist disorder of some type. I am shocked to have figured out a third close female friend really has Narcissistic features in behavior. Dad was one.. It seta pattern that has been too enduring and triggering my whole life!

 

[WhiteHatGirl]

Narcissists & sociopaths/psychopaths can't recognize their faults....I could give you a list of mine......

I married that guy. And thank god I've been divorced for 10 years now.

 

[Multitudes]

Narcissism isn't just about someone loving themselves - it also fundamentally concerns their predisposition to take over and direct the lives of everyone around them. Their tools are virtually super-human abilities to stealth-interrogate, construct fairly (and terrifyingly) accurate pictures of events based on seemingly disparate and minute 'bits' of information, and just how to clinically analyse, approach, and break down others' strengths and defenses for personal gain.

The OP worries about feeling selfish, so understandable considering how much of their own power has been overwhelmed by peers bent upon control.
This is not selfishness, though - it is the feeling resulting from being manipulated by another.. and the need to reestablish personal control.
The Narcissist convinces us that our bad feelings are guilt, and are our fault, drawing in - and conditioning - all who are vulnerable to a super-humanly strong will and motive.

You are not weak, BoN-bOn, just the victim of predators!

Bless you for the amazing individual you are!

 

[BoN-bOn]

Narcissism isn't just about someone loving themselves - it also fundamentally concerns their predisp...

Thank you @Multitudes ! I really like that perspective. :)

 

[Deleted member 46500]

I just read an article about narcissism in Psychology Today and thought this was funny. The suggestion is if you want to find out if a person is a narcissist, ask him, are you a narcissist, they can't resist a reply. What was the reply? I don't know?

 

[Multitudes]

The suggestion is if you want to find out if a person is a narcissist, ask him, are you a narcissist..

If I picture asking those who have targeted me in the past.. aggressive defense, effort to make me feel wrong, fearful, guilty.

 

[DissociattedSoup]

Hi BoN-bOn,

I was raised by a narcissistic mother and it strikes me, what you describe is simply the coping skills you learnt to survive a relationship of that type.
When I got married, I believed that all relationships worked like the one me and my mother had. The inquiry, the control and the "I'm the victim" are a narcissists go to manipulation tools. I used to use those "tools" with my partner, I thought it was normal, it was how I tried to survive my mother. It caused a huge amount of grief and guilt on my part (as I am not a narcissist!) and I am only just learning to trust (after 25 years of marriage!).
I relate to almost everything you wrote, including the guilt. That is not narcissism, that is survival/protection instinct.
Hugs
Sarah

 

[Ms. Bond]

I think because I'm realizing how much narcissism I've been surrounded by my entire life, I'm so parano...

Thank you @Multitudes ! I really like that perspective. :)

People confuse "narcissism" with "narcissistic personality disorder."
"Narcissism" is healthy. People with narcissistic personality disorder are not healthy in any way. You can't have narcissistic personality disorder. Why? People with that personality disorder don't think there is anything wrong with them. They are incapable of feeling empathy. You worry if you are narcissistic. If it were a personality disorder. People's feels don't matter to you at all.