Do you ever just hate everyone?

[Chem Lady]

I wish there was a forum topic called "emotional extremes" because this is where I'd post this thread. Sometimes I find my emotional responses to things are way stronger than they would be if I didn't have PTSD. For example, today I just feel like I hate everyone. Really, though, I feel angry because my cat died awhile ago and this morning I found I missed his cuddles in bed. Then I headed off to work and had to deal with some disrespectful people and bosses who are misguided and make ridiculous decisions regarding the work that I do. Yes, it would be normal to feel frustratedor sad or maybe even angered for awhile, but I find my response is so much stronger than it should be and it hangs on for hours and hours. I also find that pretending I don't feel this way or distracting myself or even talking logic to myself doesn't make it any better.
I'm not looking for other solutions here. I just noticed that my husband kind of thinks I should just "not let it affect your day so much". I get why it frustrates him, but I'm tired of pretending I am calm and happy and fine when I'm not. I just find that, now that I have PTSD, emotions are more fierce and stick for longer periods of time. I'm wondering if anyone else finds the same thing?

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes, it's a part of emotional disregulation. I experience a lot of emotions to extremes. Sometimes it's bad. Other times it keeps life fun.

 

[ladee]

Sure, all the time. But not as bad as it used to be. I just finally gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling, being mindful to not take it out on anyone, but I felt it, and the depth I felt it was there for a reason.... I did do a lot of writing in my home journal during that time... but it just seemed not trying to change it helped to end faster....
That is some good self awareness you have... if you have a T talk with them about this.... seems anger is still frowned upon with women , like it's something we shouldn't feel... so a lot of shame attached.... so giving myself permission cut out the middle noise of judgement... my feelings, and I would tend to them....
Hope things ease up for you soon....

 

[user44376]

Sadly, anger is frowned on in general. I’m very misanthropic and try to deal with it the best I can, but.....people just give you so much to work with. I acknowledge it and never lash out or get violent. Not who I am. But i keep it in and it devours me at times. I am very tired though of living in a world where people would rather you be insincere and fake then have to hear or see anger, pessimism or the slightest negativity.

 

[Chem Lady]

@AddHomnym, if I could "like" your response twice, I would! I totally agree with you! I'm so tired of "silver lining"s and "God has a reason"s and all those other phrases that are just meant to make you say something positive or shut up. My brother doesn't want his kids to know that their aunt has a mental illness so he tells them I'm "picky" and that's why I can't stay overnight in their loud house where I have no space to myself. Somehow he thinks he's protecting them from negativity by painting me as a jerk rather than just tell them that my brain doesn't deal well with noise or stimulation anymore. I could go on for hours with examples of people trying to protect themselves from what they view as "negative emotions", but I doubt there's any need on this site. I'm sure most of us have multiple stories along these lines.

 

[Rani G2]

I am very tired though of living in a world where people would rather you be insincere and fake then have to hear or see anger, pessimism or the slightest negativity.

Yes!!!!

 

[Supervixn]

Oh yes. I am a total misanthrope. I try not to express it too much but it's hard not to look at humanity with resentment. Hurt.

People think this makes you a bad person. I feel like I am overly aware and wary of people for a good reason... we all have good reason here on this forum to experience this.

I think I experience life much differently than 'average' people, and when I see their humanity, instead of finding understanding and compassion I instead feel disgust and anger. I wish it wasn't that way. It's hard to be around people when you dislike people. It sounds evil or overly dark, but the 'lightness' average people seem to have in their heart is a major source of personal pain for me just because of the weight and suffering caused by PTSD.

 

[Supervixn]

Sadly, anger is frowned on in general. I’m very misanthropic and try to deal with it the best I can, but.....people just give you so much to work with. I acknowledge it and never lash out or get violent. Not who I am. But i keep it in and it devours me at times. I am very tired though of living in a world where people would rather you be insincere and fake then have to hear or see anger, pessimism or the slightest negativity.

Wow it's like you took this from my soul and put it into words... so true!

 

[The Albatross]

Nope... usually I go straight into hating myself. I guess I figure if I hate "everybody" then something is seriously wrong with me in a big way.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Yes, but only when I’m super depressed.

 

[shimmerz]

I have to be honest. I can't help but notice that anger is like a cancer in society. If someone isn't angry or frustrated or anxiety ridden, they aren't working hard enough, you know? I don't want to go anywhere anymore because people are so random. Attack full on for nothing.
And I get it. It is horrible the stuff happening in this world.

So I have to say that I believe that quite a bit of what is happening is situational. Crazy weather/fires/shootings/wars/political shit, people constantly being displaced, killed, maimed or helplessly watching tv while this crap is being run and rerun on tv.

Honestly? Who wouldn't crack? This world is a freaking disaster. I think we would all be nuts if we smiled through it, you know?

 

[Sunfl0wer]

Same, these past few weeks I have been angry all the time against people/humanity. Angry at them for making this society so crappy and not even trying to fix it. I thought that maybe if I got into an organization for women's and kids' rights, maybe that anger would be channeled into it, but it seems that I have even more of it when seeing how passive they are in the face of violence - "let's just blame the victim, that way we don't feel bad". The thing is that right now, I have found I have a much lower tolerance for dealing with people in general. If I stay too long with others, I get annoyed and angry.

Other emotions have been amplified but it seems to be the biggest one right now.