DID Purposes of individual alters/parts

[Keen]

Hey DID friends,
I'm back looking for more insights/advice, thanks for your support!
Here's my latest question: what is the point of a "completely incapable" part? My therapist has been saying that each alter/part is there for a reason and was helpful at some point. What could be helpful about a part that all she can do is curl up on the floor bawling and saying "I'm completely incapable"? That's all she can do when she's out, and I can't figure out when that is ever adaptive.

 

[SinkorSwim]

Perhaps she is helping you deal with your insecurities? Instead of acting out on something or someone else she keeps you safe and crawled up in a corner.

 

[Sideways]

Some parts are there to help us express particular emotions, like anger. Perhaps this one is helping you to express your vulnerability and pain? Do you know how old the part is?

 

[Keen]

Instead of acting out on something or someone else she keeps you safe

Thats a super interesting insight, I never would have thought of that, but that makes sense.

Some parts are there to help us express particular emotions

I never would have thought of this either. You could be right. Vulnerability is definitely an unsafe emotion, so it makes sense you'd want to dissociate it. I'm not sure how old, she feels young though, like a kid but an older kid.

 

[Sideways]

If you can find out the age, that would potentially be helpful. You would be able to engage particular activities that the part is going to enjoy and feel safe doing. It’s a bit of a balancing act between finding safe times to let that part of you express how it’s feeling, but also develop trust so the part can understand that she doesn’t need to feel vulnerable and scared any more.

 

[Ronin]

I can't figure out when that is ever adaptive.

That's interesting, because the first thing I saw was how that's - completely- adaptive.

Turning attention away from her. Or complying with abusers' expectations/goals, whichever that was, satisfying them enough into leaving the whole of you alone - alive and alone. Both good things.

And hideout of everyone else, too. Hidden strength to keep going on is a thing you'd want to be doing, instead of giving everything away. Can't help it turns bit over the top and against you in some ways later.

 

[shimmerz]

Hey DID friends,

This isn't always a DID experience. I think it does, though, indicate a fair level of fragmentation.

My shaman would suggest to you that you try to remember the earliest occurrence in your memory of this 'feeling'. Doesn't mean you had to literally be lying on the floor but when did you feel this level of hopelessnes? What was happening? What did you need in that moment?

Then, work with bringing together a plan for how you would go about getting what you needed for this fragmented part. To have her feel assured that you are 'on her side'.

 

[Keen]

engage particular activities that the part is going to enjoy

I never would have thought of that, thanks!

Hidden strength to keep going on is a thing you'd want to be doing

That makes a lot of sense, Ronin, thanks for those insights!

plan for how you would go about getting what you needed for this fragmented part.

Thanks for this idea! I've never really thought about when in the past I first encountered those feelings, and never thought maybe I could try to help that part get what it needed.

 

[pixel]

Have you been able to get help for that part in therapy?

My therapist works with my parts, and she always tells me what was discussed. We've had some groundbreaking moments.

Your vulnerable part may need time during therapy to explore her feelings and experiences.
Can you offer your vulnerable part some time during your next session?

 

[Keen]

Thanks for these ideas. Today I brought up that part so we could start addressing what it needs.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I had such an expressive part come out quite a bit.
Maybe sometimes just need a Pain-Bot, some part that will soak up everything. You know, so you wont be that broken part.
That is, until you realize that broken part is you, the part of you that took in all the pain you took

Thats what I got to, don't know what to do further, if I work on it, I will feel bad a lot

Really, seeking ideas just the same

 

[Ronin]

There sometimes isn't another way but to embrace the suck @Saelben.

I mean you still have to work it through; from a switched perspective, off the switched perspective, blendy, fragmentated, in-and-out-of-fog, dissociated pain or remembered one, associations and half memories and half sensations, things that downright stab and bite, and the care.

You cared for yourself or someone cared for you or you thought someone cared for you and cared for yourself, if you didn't at all and pain was -all- there was, you wouldn't be here, is my logic. & << Something that applies to quite a range of pain.