Relationship Boyfriend started loving me again, and now its gone..again!!

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Thank you Hoojay for that lovely answer. PTSD is a monster. My heart goes out to all sufferers, and supporters.

I do hope we can resolve it. He messaged me saying ‘good morning. I do miss speaking to you’. It breaks my heart.

I have a question for all PTSD sufferers. Can feelings of love go up and down? Sometimes you feel it for a longer time and sometimes you just don’t?

 

[Hojay]

It might be worth starting a new thread with that question @BoyfriendqwithPTSD, maybe even in the PTSD relationship section directly so you can get more direct feedback from sufferers.

Hugs to you if you’ll have them. This stuff really is not easy.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Hi hoojay, I just did. Replies are quite negative though

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

He keeps texting me with updates about his day. He told me he really misses me, and I’m family to him now.

It hurts.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

He keeps texting me with updates about his day. He told me he really misses me, and I’m fa...

Try to hang in there and be careful.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Thanks BJ, how’s it going for you

 

[Deleted member 44240]

I’m feeling a little better today. Thank you for asking. I’ve been texting my ex with hopes of a reconnection.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

How long were you both in a relationship if you don’t mind me asking?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

We were dating for about eight months.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Ah okay, be patient. Things will solve itself one way or anothe. You seem so positive and hopeful, such a lovely approach to have.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Ah okay, be patient. Things will solve itself one way or anothe. You seem so positive and ho...

Thank you. I have to be positive about things with him. It’s been a rollercoaster with him even through the good times. I saw behaviors that were questionable, but I allowed because of ptsd. Him being too private, looking for reasons to argue, couldn’t keep solid plans. I’ve read where these could be ptsd symptoms. So, I have to be positive because he’s also been great in the past with giving me wonderful gifts and being there for me when needed. As you may know, recently I’ve made the mistake of betraying his trust and he’s now not spoken to me since November.

 

[Hojay]

Him being too private, looking for reasons to argue, couldn’t keep solid plans.

Check, check, check. My SO is insanely private. To a point where something awful happens to him that upends his whole life and I have no idea what. "Can't talk about it." He picks fights for small things I say, when I say them, or how I approach saying it. He also can't make plans that I can solidly rely on. We make plans and I think...yeah, maybe that'll happen, maybe it wont.

And how much it must hurt to be broken up with for a perceived/real betrayal when you've basically bent your brain into a pretzel to make it all ^ work. It hurts and it's confusing.