How do you feel when your ptsd is mentioned in public ?

[Recovery4Me]

Hi! :hug: < Hugs if you accept!

Today in my Rental Office, the conversation came up for an Emotional Support Animal as I was learning the administrative aspects for the property... because I am applying. My diagnosis was on the letter and it was not needed... nor required by law. I am not angry but I did discover that I felt a small amount of embarrassment over my label.

I was wondering if someone else might share, if they are progressing in feeling acceptance for theirselves when our label comes up in public settings? Do you feel confident or still a little awkward too? How have you handled this admission of the PTSD Label within a public situation and maintained perhaps a little dignity?

I am hoping to find perhaps some experience among our members, in which to borrow so that I may learn how to better navigate in the future (rather than looking like a deer in the headlights.):clown: I am attempting to mainstream again, after a long period of self imposed isolation.

So thank you for any positive input in advance and your valuable time if you feel inclined to share.:) :tup:

 

[flowerapple]

I am not sure if this is how you mean, but while applying for scholarships there was one which required you to write about a difficulty or illness you have and how you manage school with it. It took me a long while to decide if I was going to apply for it or not, but I eventually did. I must say I felt proud of myself that I was able to write about it and send it to a bunch of stranger whom I've never met and probably will never meet but they are going to know something that private about me. I was still also embarrassed and upset too that I am sharing something that private and it still isn't a guarantee that I would get it. But I guess that was the negative talk in me cuz it was telling me to stop writing snd to not hit send. But I sent it anyways and it did bother me for a while and I couldn't stop feeling this shame that I had this and now people outside my support group were going to know. A few days later though I found I didn't really care that much. It happened already and there was nothing I could do to undo it. I just have to see the positive in it that I shared that part of me and now Ive grown in the sense that I'm learning to accept it as being a part of me. I mean sharing is a part of the healing process too in my opinion.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

It depends who I've to tell/who knows about it. Usually I get upset because it brings back all the reasons I suffer with it. I find it really difficult but try to put on a brave face. Usually end up crying once I get a moment alone afterwards. Sometimes cry in front of the person/people :tdown:

 

[Friday]

When I wasn’t symptomatic, I didn’t give a damn.

After I got symptomatic again? Someone else mentioning their PTSD sent me about 20 feet sideways. He took it well. Just kinda laughed and was like, I see you, get your ass back over here. (Dude. I was fine for like, 10 years). It comes and goes. 10 years is a good run. (Can we talk about absolutely anything else on the planet? Like, yesterday?)

I went from zero to skittish as f*ck, (avoid, distract, evade, run) in roughly half a second.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@flowerapple That was incredibly courageous to put yourself out there (both within the scholarship essay as well as here).

I like the fact that you were brave enough to share your temporary inner conflict as well as how you overcame those negative thoughts. Thank you.:tup:

@LilLynx :hug: :hug: Actually it seems kind of brave to me that you can be honest about being emotional and human. I am sorry however for your pain.

@Friday :laugh: You crack me up when you share! I love your humor and thank you for your valuable insight.:)

 

[Sideways]

Its come up for me with my accommodation because I have a dog exemtpion for my Assistance Dog, to the envy of a few of my dog-loving neighbours. Although in that setting, I just refer to it as a “medical condition”. When you have an Assistance Dog it’s kind of stating the obvious to point out to someone you have a medical condition - the dog with the big colourful jacket kind of gives it away.

Saying “medical condition” has become a total non-issue for me. I’d like to meet the freak of nature who doesn’t have some kind of ‘medical condition’ of their own, yeah?

With my study, my lecturers were told so that they could provide me with personalised support. And it was uncomfortable (like, reeeeally uncomfortable) for me at first. But then when everyone started going out of their way to help me? It became more like just a thing, that they knew, and that they clearly didn’t have a problem with (cool!).

But then there’s all the other students. We have small classes, everyone loves my dog (back off, already), and I’ve been practicing just dropping the “He’s for ptsd” when people (inevitably) ask what I have the dog for in conversation. I notice myself trying to strike my most “and how normal do I look” pose when I say it, because I still preempt the “well you’re obviously crazy then” response. But the more I just drop it in when someone asks? The more I get met with “Oh, ok...(continue conversation)”. That’s helping reaffirm with me that the judgment is usually coming from me, not them. My (unnecessary) discomfort, not theirs.

I don’t just tell random people when they approach me (regularly) to ask me about my dog and why I have it and (the questions are endless). I don’t tell people unless there’s a good reason to. But that’s me practicing my healthy boundaries - it’s neither appropriate, nor necessary, for me to be giving my medical details to complete strangers, or just acquaintances. I used to do that almost as a preemptive apology (like, “You’re gonna no doubt find me to be really peculiar and unlikeable, so I’ll give you advance warning it’s because I have ptsd” - that was just me lacking confidence).

I think when it needs to come up, or it comes up in settings where people knowing is going to be helpful? It can make or break your confidence depending on the reaction you get. But most reactions I get are actually pretty neutral, like I’ve just told someone I have an overactive thyroid. Like they thought I was going say something interesting and contentious, but...didn’t!

Neutral and uninterested responses? Are super great for my confidence, so increasingly when I feel like someone knowing specifically that I have ptsd will be helpful in some tangible way? In those situations I’m getting pretty comfortable with it. “It’s ptsd, not ebola. You don’t need to take a selfie of this moment that I told you what I have, because it turned out to be not that interesting.”

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Sideways :D That was an awesome share! I totally can use this approach as I navigate the mainstream. One million thanks and likes for your assistance.:tup: Ps like your new username.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had to ask for special accomadations when I was in college and needed a letter from my pychiatrist to get permission for this. I had to tell the professor in class before it started too as I was really struggling. I already felt bad because I was obviously in the wrong class for me and was not able to keep up each day and felt so behind and was also so much older than the kids in the classroom.

A few of the younger ones reached out to me and supported me and I was failing so I ended up dropping the class and wish that I had been in the right beginners class as all of these younger people had grown up doing computers. I felt really discouraged and stupid as a result but over all it was a good experience for me.

I found it kind of painful telling the people in the office about my condition but they were courteous with me so I adjusted but I did feel overexposed before I was ready to accept that I needed extra help. If I had it to do over I would go straight to the office and ask for help for the PTSD and special accomadations again.

It was a new role for me that was uncomfortable.

 

[Sideways]

I totally can use this approach as I navigate the mainstream.

Cool to have helped:)

FWIW, if you end up in that awkward situation where you decide to tell someone that you have ptsd and, for whatever reason, they do find that really interesting and decide to start asking... It’s entirely appropriate to interrupt their impending interrogation with a look that says “Well that’s a completely inappropriate question you nosy...” and decline to answer. I have ptsd, and frankly, that’s usually all I have to say about it.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@Sideways :roflmao: I most definitely secretly :ninja:wish to be able to say that but I am not quite that gutsy, but I do offer that it is a story for another time to ‘normies’. If someone reaches out from a position of needing understanding from having it themselves... I offer this website.

I met someone like that in the airplane once : she was so grateful to know that there were others to talk to. But it is that moment where people hear it or find out that is the most awkward for me. They sometimes back away a few feet.:whistling: Most uncomfortable :bag:.

@Rain I am sorry that this happened within your education. I have known several people that have had to retake a class : there is no shame in this btw. It is my sincere hope that if you wish to go back to school that you find ample support as well as confidence of those whom love you here. :hug:

I really appreciate you offering such a vulnerable story in order to support me in this journey. When I think on your share, it allows me to consider that perhaps asking for help upon occasion is very important. You reinforced- my decision to reach out for help here. I thank you sincerely. :)

 

[Ronin]

Honestly, I don't share.

Because of the times it's brought the 'and what's your trauma' questions, which are about nobody's business, and because it's still not PTSD that's gutting me, it's trauma. I can deal with about every f*cked up facet of PTSD, I'm clueless as hell about things leading to it, and these days happy to put what I can into lil neat pandora boxes.

 

[Tinyflame]

Exactly @Ronin .