Relationship He basically told me goodbye.

[Gs172003]

BINGO! I was actually (without knowing any better) trying to save the bastard from potentially losing his...

You do realize regardless of what your intentions were it still wasn't right....Right?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Yes I most certainly do. And you do realize that most of what you’re saying is going ignored from this point forward!

 

[Gs172003]

Yes I most certainly do. And you do realize that most of what you’re saying is going ignored from this p...

Believe me I'm not suprised

 

[Deleted member 44240]

For the record, to all sufferers, I have learned the difference between telling someone that someone may have fallen and broken their leg vs., they’re suffering with a mental illness. I equate to sharing that someone is gay and they didn’t want it to be known,”OUTING”! I get it! I also understand that people can wear someone out with constant heckling and negative comments which could drive a person to developing their own issues. How much is too much?! @Hojay and @BoyfriendqwithPTSD my hats off to them because they understand that I get it and they have shared how to move forward along with examples of such. Please remember, ptsd doesn’t come with a handbook or else I would have had one a year ago. When I say that I loved this man with absolutely everything in me, I DID! Only to find out that I may have been a game he was playing at the time. I guess he was within his rights to do that according to some of you (who don’t know either one of us). Remember, I shared some of what he did as well, lying, setting me up, giving me false hope, spending my money at leisure. All while he had me to believe he loved and cared for me. WTF

 

[Freida]

@B.J. I think you have shown amazing growth as you have worked this out. Yes - you made a mistake--but you learned from it and that is what matters. I don't think it means you need to harden your heart. I think it just helps to make you aware that what may look "normal" on the top may come with a ton of baggage to work thru. And you know what you will and wont' allow - which should help make your next relationship much healthier

 

[Deleted member 44240]

@B.J. I think you have shown amazing growth as you have worked this out. Yes - you m...

Thank you @Freida! You’re right, I has e learned a lot, but unfortunately, I am hardened due to this horrendous challenge I’ve been facing. It’s also unfortunate that this too has become baggage and as much as I would like to meet someone else without having this to bother my emotional well-being, realistically, I can’t.

I met someone who I believed in and who had me under the impression that they really cared. I thought that ptsd played a role in his behavior (it probably did a little) but some of

 

[EveHarrington]

Okay, I think we all just have very different reads on what happened (I mean, it's the internet, what do...

It doesn’t matter the intent.

OP talked to sufferers BOSS, not just a colleague.

What I said still stands.

“The road to hell is paved with the best of intentions.”

And really, intentions don’t mean crap when you’re doing something that has the potential to ruin someone’s life.

Hell, there are parents who try to beat the devil out of their kids. Good intentions? Yeah. Nobody wants a kid with the devil inside. But still, beating your kids is abuse.

People cannot fall back on this “good intentions” stuff as life doesn’t work that way.

The only thing I can guess is that you don’t understand the IMMENSE amount of stigma that a mental health diagnosis carries in the USA.

Or just how far we go to appear normal.

We don’t want this disorder. We don’t want people to know about this disorder. We just want to be able to appear NORMAL!

I’m BEGGING you all to PLEASE try and understand this concept because it is INCREDIBLY important to most sufferers out there.

And it’s a concept that the OP doesn’t even want to accept no matter how many people stress it’s importance ——if for only she can’t move past feeling blamed to understand the stigma is VERY REAL and it’s huge for those of us with a mental illness to be able to have our privacy.

Yes, it boils down to PRIVACY! We all deserve privacy. I’m not understanding why people think it’s ok to violate someone’s privacy in something that is MAJOR to many sufferers?

PLEASE try to understand this issue, supporters. I’m not trying to be rude. I’m trying to educate you on something that is VERY important to us sufferers.

Privacy when it comes to our PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

When you make a statement once, that should definitely be enough, for most adults to comprehend.
The part that’s not understood is the fact is, I do accept my responsibility in this matter. What I don’t accept is to keep being reminded of it when I’ve moved on! What some are doing is trying to beat a dead horse by continuing to bring up something that has long been handled and understood. I don’t want any sufferer to have to endure what ptsd has/is doing to them; I’ve experienced it first hand.

Ok, so I’m a supporter who learned a lesson; how much more do I have to prove or say to whoever doesn’t believe that.

No one here knows either one of us, nor do you know exactly what went on except for what I’ve shared to this point.

 

[Hojay]

I’m BEGGING you all to PLEASE try and understand this concept because it is INCREDIBLY important to most sufferers out there.

I hear your frustration here. I do understand it. Nobody here said it is no big deal or okay to disclose someone else's mental illness. The OP even compared it to "outing" a gay person against their will. It's a giant deal. We do understand.

And really, intentions don’t mean crap when you’re doing something that has the potential to ruin someone’s life.

But really, intentions do matter. Not so much in the outcome. The relationship will still be over no matter if the OP had good intentions or not. (Or someone's life is still over no matter if the person performing CPR was trying to save him, but killed him instead.)

Intentions matter in terms of talking to the OP about moving forward and understanding what happened (which I believe he very much does,) and in terms of how to put his ex's present day behavior into context. Unless you're arguing that the ex has some sort of right to go and maliciously meddle in BJ's life because he made an honest mistake, then I think we're both actually agreeing, no?

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

@B.J.
Love. You made a mistake. Forgive yourself. I know I’ve made plenty (unintentionally) and I’ve made my sufferer feel worse, because I didn’t quite understand. PTSD isn’t easy to understand, it’s confusing, emotional, frustrating for supporters as well as sufferers.

Just yesterday my sufferer said: ‘I feel like I’m having a complete breakdown, I’m not gonna make it’. At times he seems so well, so functioning and at times he says these things.
It takes A LOT of self work to be able to support a sufferer and understand, and by no means am I an expert. I’m just at the beginning of this journey.

@B.J. Please try and focus on yourself. Hang out with friends, family, excersize, do something you find fun, do all things that make you feel better for yourself. We all live and learn, we’re all human and make mistakes. Yours was unintentional so forgive yourself Start over and live life. You’re gonna find someone who loves you deeply, and it’ll be wonderful, only if you let it happen and take care of yourself xx

 

[Deleted member 44240]

@B.J.
Love. You made a mistake. Forgive yourself. I know I’ve made ple...

Thank you @BoyfriendqwithPTSD, I really appreciate your words. I’ve forgiven myself a long while back; this is way bigger than me. I also forgive him because he doesn’t understand what’s going on with him. However, I come here to express my experience with others and maybe to help someone else through their tough experience, not to be constantly ridiculed and reminded of my mistake.