Supporter What am i supposed to do - combat vet broke up but everything still the same except living together.

[Snowflakes]

@Snowflakes how long did you ignore her for?

I did not “engage” in conversation while she was drinking and/or drunk. It was pointless. As for how long....that depended on how long she was drinking which, towards the end, was pretty much non-stop.

Keep this in mind....very often when the person stops drinking (self-medicating) either because if health issues or they go into therapy, the person now has to deal with what they are trying to forget by drinking, so it does become worse for both the sufferer and supporter for a while.

You have a rough road ahead of you if you decide you want to stay in this relationship. As I’m typing this I see @Justmehere writes that you deserve a guy that will cherish you and make you a clear priority. I wholeheartedly agree. You have the power within you to take a different path today. While it’s not in my nature to tell you which paths to take in life, I hope you take the one which leads towards someone who cherishes you and treats you with the love and affection you truly deserve.

 

[krisss]

Its been a while my loves!

SO much has happened since I last posted, and the wedding is in 3 days!!

He has used and abused and taken advantage of me a little more after the last time I wrote on here, and just last thursday I told him enough was enough and lost my chill. Hes texted me maybe 6 times since asking to talk and I have completely ignored him. I've reached my threshold for disrespect that I am willing to allow. NO MORE.

 

[Freida]

good girl!

 

[Justmehere]

Keep on holding your head high and ignoring the jerk. You deserve better!

 

[LuckiLee]

Just checking in on you. Good job enforcing your boundaries!! Well done. Have fun at your friends wedding!

 

[krisss]

Hi guys,

Time for my sob story update.

The wedding was fine, he never showed up. But, the fact that it was open bar, everyone kept asking me where he was and my, anger - it got the best of me. I ended up texting him angrily after. I said "I am so f**king pissed off at you its not even funny, like who are you"

& i got crickets, not one single response back. & i guess that was good cause who knows what I would've responded if he replied. But i think he either did not know what to say or was ignoring me because I was ignoring him first.

Two days later, I'm blocked off every social media (i had him blocked for two weeks before this) & he was posting things such as "im not mad at anyone for anything they ever did to me, you showed me you. i needed that" or "the person I was with the hardest showed me i have to watch who i go with" OR "i dont regret burning bridges. i regret that some people weren't on those bridges when i burnt them" & he posted a gif of a guy wiping his hands clean over his ex.

When i saw those, i felt crushed all over again. Is he only posting that to get a reaction out of me? Why does he seem so mad at me when he's the one who hasn't cared about my feelings for almost 3 months? Is it because I was ignoring him and his sorry excuse of an apology? I'm sorry but the apology i got did not come until the day AFTER i told him enough was enough (did not even have the urgency to text me back immediately) and consisted of "Obviously you dont want to talk to me seeing as how upset i've made you and i dont blame you. I am sorry for how i acted towards you when all i needed to do was talk but instead i pushed back and made you mad so im sorry. If you dont wanna talk to me then thats fine, just let me know if this is the last time we'll talk"

Then texted me again 5 minutes after "lol why did you block me, i just noticed that"

ALL THAT HURT, and that's the text i got. THE NEXT DAY.

OF COURSE i did not reply. later that night he texted me again "guess we wont be talking then" and every other text was not even about us or me or anything just things about his mail coming to my house.

SO WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE A VICTIM NOW?
My god im blabbering but im so upset all over again. How can he literally make me feel guilty or as if I did something, or as if i gave up on him when i finally stand my ground?

what the hell do i do
:(

 

[Freida]

ok punkin listen up....

He. Is. An. Asshole.

this isn't ptsd behavior. This is asshole behavior. Do people with ptsd do crappy things? Yep. But I can't think of one time I, or any of those that I know, would go on a social media campaign to trash someone. If he was symptomatic he wouldn't have the energy or interest in posting crap all over facebook about you. PTSD is personal. It's about how I'm coping with what is going on with me. I have no interest in anything that anyone else is doing as long as they stay out of my way.

I'm wondering if he is using the idea of PTSD as a crutch to give himself an excuse for being an ass. And I don't think that is something you can change. And really -- based on how horrible he has been -- why would you want to? Do you really want this kind of person in your life?

 

[Deleted member 44240]

Hi guys,

Time for my sob story update.

The wedding was fine, he never showed up. But, the fact that...

I just had the chance to read your entire post. I definitely feel your pain. My ex decided that I did him wrong by betrayal and, like you, I sent him a very mean email.

I noticed I was blocked on social media and he shut down all communication with me. Since then, he’s been very nasty and distant. Like yourself, I don’t have a clue as to what I should do at this time. I’ve sent texts, emails and a letter pleading with him about us at least trying to talk and hopefully repair our friendship.

I wish you the best in your situation.

 

[Buttercup]

Hi @krisss,

Here is my opinion of what I think you should do - nothing. Do nothing. Be in your pain for a while. Heal and figure out what you need to learn and to grow from this experience, wish him well and forgiveness in your heart, and then get on with your life.

He sounds very young and immature more than anything to me. He has a lot of growth healing and learning to do and hopefully he will do those things.

 

[krisss]

I know this is a year old, almost exactly the same day as last year which is crazy. Anybody who posted on here feel like hearing me out? Clearly I'm back. So you all should know what this means :(

 

[Mytime]

Welcome back.

 

[krisss]

This is just f****ng horrible. I feel as i’m right back where I started & everything is happening all over again