What helps people turn their life around?

[blackemerald1]

@saraemerald no worries again sorry for the way I said it.
I agree with you regarding the support being needed. It's pretty hard to keep slogging along alone.
I'm finding it hard to rely on ppl in real life bc of prior disappointments & experience's. But this is part of my own personal journey & learning who is trustworthy. I'm trying to reach out but it is very difficult to not withdraw to my 'safe' reclusive lifestyle. I'm sure there are load's of good natured ppl around. It's up to me to adventure out & find them.

 

[ladee]

It's worth it @saraemerald ,or I wouldn't be here... gotta hang in here for the payoffs... there are many, a life you never dreamed possible... I happen to think and know and believe, we are some of the strongest, most loving people on this planet.. for all of us here , those that aren't here and still doing this healing thing.... it has a lot of freedom... you just gotta hang a tiny bit of faith that those that have gone before you, are telling you the truth.

 

[Lionheart]

I suppose it was a living hell that changed me. Wanting to die because I was so miserable. I didn't even understand why. That was my "bottom." I had reached a point in my life (many years ago) where I was ready to simply lie down and die. I had lost my lover, my health, my cat, my dog, my car, my job, my sanity...etc., etc., Everything that held meaning for me seemed to be at an end and there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

I got so frustrated and angry about all the trauma and other crap I had been through in my life, that I decided, "To hell with it. I am not going down without a fight." And so I sobered up and began fighting for my life, going to the doctor regularly and seeing a therapist, (one on one and group) etc., I stopped cutting, acting out, and hurting myself.

So I guess it was the fact that I was suicidally depressed and in my own personal living hell that set me on a path to turn my life around or maybe it was pure fear.... I am not sure, but now, I have happiness and hope. I am free from the chains of the past. I am no longer eat up with inappropriate shame and guilt. I have done many years of healing work and have reaped the benefits....today I am care-free, light hearted, and I have self acceptance and self love. My life is not perfect but it is good and I am basically a happy camper.

 

[blackemerald1]

"To hell with it. I am not going down without a fight."

That's the same kind of spirit that keeps me getting up and moving on each day.
Thanks @Lionheart777 well said. I'm glad you are reaping the benefits of doing all that hard work.

 

[intothelight]

I think what turned it around for me were two traumatic events that weren't things that were done to me, but two things that happened. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer so I wan't going to waste any more time or lose it by disassociating because time suddenly became the most important thing. Then two months after her diagnosis I was diagnosed with cancer, so my purpose was to help take care of her and be an example on how to fight this thing.

For myself, trauma from abuse was personal and that is what broke me. Trauma from life isn't personal and somehow it motivated some major changes. Don't know why or how exactly, but it did. All I do know is once the ball started rolling, I made some huge changes in myself and fairly quickly because of the "time" thing with this type of illness.

Six years later, my daughter has been declared "cured" and I am maintaining an amazing remission. Still working on a lot of things and trying and doing what fits best with me and my own life. Goals are balance, contentment, peace with a dash of joy. That pretty much equates happiness for me.

 

[blackemerald1]

@intothelight what incredible insight! Your ability to discern what was done to you personally and what happened is really important.

The decision that your own kin needed you more than you needed you...I can see how that would happen but then to be hit with your own touch of cancer and fight on for both of you that is incredibly brave.

You show incredible tenacity and I wish you and your daughter ongoing health and happiness.

 

[saraemerald]

I think what turned it around for me were two traumatic events that weren't things that were done t...

Congratulations on your daughter being declared cured and you in remission. And thank you for sharing. I can totally relate to the trauma of abuse being hard to overcome from and then another trauma not related to abuse but maybe health related you react t differently and not so much in a way of taking it personal. When other people hurt and abuse us, it's so sad and very hurtful and stirs up lots of feelings and questioning humanity, but when it's something to do with our health unrelated to abuse, it's definitely a different matter.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hope.

Baby steps.

Vulnerability.