Clarification On Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

[his_swallow]

I saw a psychiatrist recently and was diagnosed with PTSD although we did discuss briefly the possibility of CPTSD. Nothing was said, however about his final decision and I have yet to get a copy of the paperwork.

In reading a couple of the posts here, and doing my own research, I have all the symptoms of CPTSD and was not only abused as a child (molestation) but experienced 8 years in an abusive relationship. I am not the person that I once was and I find that I was to return to who I was. What triggered the thought that I may have CPTSD was when someone commented that they had no "former self" to return to hence not CPTSD. If I have that former self that I want to return to, is it likely I have complex vs 'regular' PTSD?

*confused*

 

[JohnnyM53]

The former self is but a collection memories and feelings relating to what has already happened.

I think what the member meant by they had nor former self is that, according to Judith Herman's book Trauma and Recovery, we have to integrate our traumas into our history. In case where where the traumas happened in very early life, a person may feel they have no self prior to integrate the traumas into. So they may think they have no former self to find.

But all people evolve and change as they age, undergo life events, etc., etc. so no one, whether they have PTSD or abuse issues or not has a former self to return to.

I think that once we resolve our trauma or abuse issues, what's left is the core of our personality that we had as a natural, authentic child. But even then we've changed due to time, life events, etc.

I don' think we can literally go back in time and retrieve a personality because that personality has evolved.

Just my take on it. Others may see it differently.

 

[anthony]

Hey Swallow,

CPTSD is more aptly diagnosed to those who endured abuse their entire childhood, near their entire childhood, to the point of which they actually do not know, nor could even understand or comprehend, between what they do and what society views as normal behaviour / rationalisation towards behaviour. If a child has been severely emotionally abused their entire upbringing, then as an adult they display the same attitude, ways that reflect their upbringing, that put them completely outside of what would be deemed normal behaviour of an adult... then this would be viewed more towards complex PTSD. It is not if you are abused as a child, but it is given when you are abnormally abused, emotionally or physically, for years of your childhood that completely distort your reality and perception of normal beheviour deemed by society.

Its not about whether you can remember a before the event or not and has nothing to do with it.

Hope that helps you clarify a little better.

 

[Nicolette]

My understanding is that with CPTSD your normal moral and emotional compasses get distorted and you begin to think that what is not normal to the rest of society is normal. Or you have a continual struggle between your 'gut' and what you are being told. You are programmed to act differently (similar to brainwashing if you ask me) so your perception of people in the world is skewed. Then as you evolve as an adult you work out you don't fit in and find yourself not trusting people or being attracted to abusive relationships as that is what you know how to deal with. You don't have a sense of self and there is the constant struggle between what you understand as an adult from say literature to those little voices in your head which were programmed to tell you otherwise. You mind and subconscious conflict. Situations resembling your childhood either set off triggers or cause you to revert to that child's unhealthy coping mechanisms. Apparently, as told by a psychiatrist, generally a sufferer of CPTSD exhibits destructive traits as they often struggle with the concept of life.

 

[Jagged Angel]

I just want to add that C-PTSD is not confined to those who were abused as children. It also can affect people who have been abused as adults: DV relationships, long-term hostage situations, long-term torture situations, life in a cult... basically apply what Nicolette says above to adults as well.

 

[anni]

I wish I were not so easily confused. If anyone would further clarify the CPTSD information, it would be very helpful? Is CPTSD as an adult different than that of a child? As damaging as the long term abuse would be for an adult, the adult 'core' as a person would already be developed and so the impact in the sufferer as a person would at least not be as profound. Is that at all correct? Jagged Angel's add to the information makes sense to me just because it covers my 'category' of long-term traumas ( years ) as an adult. It's a long, long story.

Sorry to be so obtuse, and thank you for all the information already given.

Anni

 

[Nicolette]

In a nutshell CPTSD is long term ongoing trauma which permanently alters a person's self & the way they perceive & interact with the world. It is most common in children due to their vunerability & being trapped in their situation. A diagnosis is a diagnosis whether you are am adult or child & most who have CPTSD are not diagnosed until they are adults. I am not sure why how it occurred is so pertinent to you as at the end of the day you end up at a similar point.

A simple example of what I am trying to say is say you were diagnosed with lung cancer from smoking and a child who has never smoked is diagnosed with lung cancer too. At the end of the day you are both dealing with lung cancer. Does that make sense & help?

 

[his_swallow]

Thank you for all the input - this gives me a lot to think about. A lot of it makes sense but some things are a little conflicting but I will muddle through :)

 

[anni]

Yes it does and thanks much for clarification. I just do a lot of the 'deserve' thing, and of course if could avoid the 'c' aspect would do so. :) Children are so much the most heart-rending, HELPLESS victims, hence in my head 'deserving' of the care. I put my own self into my situation, and give myself very little room for the initial stupidity.( and oh good God it was unbelievably idiotic ) I'm also an adult, and can much more easily claim responsibility for recovery because I can obviously process information much better than a child. I 'own' the referance point of a safe childhood, which also makes me impatient with myself as far as tolerating the damage done by years of multiple dreck. One becomes tired of paying so much attention to oneself, and of course would like to be FIXED, like getting over the flu or some big icky absess. Information keeps one focused on the real world of PTSD healing, so thanks again for all insight.

Take care,

Anni

 

[anthony]

Is CPTSD as an adult different than that of a child? As damaging as the long term abuse would be for an adult, the adult 'core' as a person would already be developed and so the impact in the sufferer as a person would at least not be as profound. Is that at all correct?

That is exactly correct Anni. It is rare that a physician should diagnose CPTSD to someone who's trauma does not delve into their childhood also. I would actually say, extremely rare, as the childhood component actually is essential, or; as Nicolette mentions, you must basically be brainwashed as an adult, though even then, usually those who move towards cults or the like, have a childhood of trauma as their parents have been within such environments, or they have endured a fair amount of abuse as a child to move towards such a thing as an adult, as they are looking for something away from the life they have endured, usually without trauma, though typically only find more trauma within such a group.

CPTSD is over-diagnosed today just like PTSD is. There are physicians who hand out both CPTSD and PTSD diagnosis for absolute misguided interpretation of the DSM. Then you have people who self diagnose (which is impossible) and then you have those who run with a diagnosis given by a friend, family member, therapist, etc... but not an amply qualified psychiatrist.

To put it really simply - If you can actually locate within your brain what normality is or was, ie. before trauma, then that person would not have CPTSD. A person with actual CPTSD has absolutely zero concept of what is considered normal behaviours in many social aspects / life skills, because all they know is their actual behaviour, which usually carries forward the trauma cycle. It is very hard for them to break out of that cycle, because they don't know what a normal behaviour is to aim for, and instead have to actually totally 100% trust someone to guide them and actually believe what they say to be normal so they can relearn social skills, behaviours and being part of life.

If anyone ever said to me that they have CPTSD and socialise well, behave like everyone else, are active within a group of friends, etc... I would tell them to slap themselves because they don't have CPTSD at all. PTSD is a sliding scale of severity, in that each sufferer is not created equal, starting around 1 > 10 being the maximum worst case. CPTSD picks up at 11 > and goes upwards.

 

[Nicolette]

My sister has C-PTSD and has struggled her entire adult life to function in what is considered 'a normal way'. She exhibites continuous self destructive behaviours and would also end up in bad relationships due to her skewed view of the world from the abuse. She was trusting of anyone offering her help which usually ended up being to her detriment. While she managed at times to hold down a job she was often angry and had over dramatic reactions. Her normal was not that of many others and the struggle to comprehend that and work out why tore her apart for years. She, to the best of my knowledge, still even struggles to separate herself from her abusers as they have brainwashed a weird obligation into her that just keeps putting her back into the frying pan every single time.

I have to agree with Anthony as I would find it very difficult for an adult to cause so much distortion to a person's developed self so I would find it odd to hear that CPTSD was caused only by adult trauma. What I would like to point out, from my own first hand experiences, is that if you have been abused as a child (which you know as the normal) and choose abusive relationships as an adult as that is what you are comfortable with I would be more likely to think that the adult behaviour stemmed from the childhood and not on its own. As in you look at the adult abuse as the blame/cause for the CPTSD but it stems far back further to things which you may have even blocked out in your subconscious.

 

[Tiger Kitten]

I find that I become a chameleon around groups. I can seem to fit in because I can act like anyone. I don't have boundaries. I trust someone absolutely or I do not trust them at all. I have a habit of letting people who push to be let in into my space and then I am at their mercy. I am easily led so therefore I try to keep my distance from people. My self esteem seems to come from other people and not myself. My reactions to things are what I think other people expect me to have. When something unexpected happens I usually wait to react until someone else reacts so I know what to do. I feel like an actor that hasn't learned her lines, so therefore has to take her cues from everyone around her.

I'm not sure that CPTSD is on the same scale as PTSD really. It's different. It has a lot of the same symptoms and a lot of other things to be worked out. I think for each individual it is different. No better or worse it's just different. It's like comparing apples and oranges. They are both fruits but which is better and which is worse? It really depends on the person making the comparison. With CPTSD it might actually be easier to deal with because one doesn't have a sense of what is normal. So therefore they don't have the pressure to get back what they lost you get to create a normal. It may be harder in some aspects to cope with, but easier in others. I really do not know. I have spent my entire life trying to find what my normal is. I have come to the conclusion that my normal is going to be what I make it to be. That's all anyone can really do. Take the cards they have been dealt in life and make it a winning hand eventually. Even if they have to change the rules a bit to make it so. It is possible and eventually I will learn how.

Tiger