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Sexual Assault Raped twice and can’t move on

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Kd27

I was raped twice in college so I moved back home. Now I’m living with my parents trying to get my life back on track(I didn’t leave my house for almost a year). I got a job as a cashier at a hardware store so I could be a part of society again. The majority of the customers are men. I am just so disgusted by them. They are dirty and say inappropriate comments and harass me when I don’t want to share my personal information with them. I’m applying for other jobs but no one seems to want to hire me. I just don’t know how to get out of this ugly place in my life. It takes a toll on me physically and emotionally. I’ve gotten to the point where living is just too hard for me to do.
 
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Counseling -- counseling -- counseling. I'm so sorry that this happened to you --- it is so very awful. You will need someone to guide you through how you feel, how to process those emotions, how to move on. It can be done -- you can get your life back..
 
I second the counseling. Have you considered working at a preschool? I know that for me, being around small children can be healing, and there are less men around in that job field.
 
I am sorry this happened to you. It will take a while for you to come to terms with it - and definitely seek and find a therapist. In the mean time, try as best you can to be compassionate to yourself.
 
Are you seeing a therapist or anything like that? I can't even imagine how horrible things would be for me right now if I didn't have any professional help this whole time.

Dealing with a lot of male customers can be hard, especially when you work in a place where a lot of them harass you. It can get really tiring and really wear you down. I've worked at two smoke shops and a liquor store, and those were just horrible jobs in so many ways.

Don't lose hope about the job search. I know it's difficult and even defeating sometimes, but if you put out like 10+ applications per week you're bound to get something new eventually.

I've been having a hard time dealing with things myself, don't feel bad about not being able to move on so easily. These things aren't easy to handle. I can't even work right now, I'm too panicky and unstable for my line of work. Also not having an easy time focusing, and I can't handle pressure very easily at all. Pressure often makes me start to have derealization or other sorts of dissociation. I don't want to f*ck up and lose my job, which is an awesome job considering the pay and the fact that I am still employed despite taking so much time off.
 
Thank you all of the responses. Counseling was hard for me in the past but I know that its crucial to my healing. It’s a lot more comforting knowing I’m not alone.
 
I was raped twice in college so I moved back home. Now I’m living with my parents trying to get my life back on track(I...
Hey , I understand what you are going through. I was sexually assaulted in College as well. My job was waitressing at a bar shortly after the whole incident. I had to quit & I ended up being jobless for a few months since I became so depressed I could not function. Men would constantly leer, flirt, & be creepy. Sometimes following us servers around the restaurant. I now work in a call center & that has been a lotttttt more respectful & less triggering. The restaurant environment was unhealthy for me . It warped my thinking to worrying about all men. Hang in there ! Maybe carry pepper spray or something on you that will help you feel more safe and in control until you find a new place.
 
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