ED Disordered eating

[mumstheword]

Bleh. Lost 50lbs, need to lose more, but have been stuck since November. It's no coincidence i started lo...

It really is and takes so much consistent focus to make inroads and self compassion to negate the shame which is very challenging and ongoing.

I feel for you with the work taking all your energy, I found that with uni and parenting. Luckily, for me, work, in the past, involved lots of exercise. Now I'm wary of committing to any that will involve too much sitting time or food prep.
I want to train in some active body arts (trauma-sensitive yoga and NIA) but need money and transport to do so.

We are here with you, Beans. On the journey, walking beside you. :hug:
Also, congrats on the losing 50lbs! That is AWESOME:stop:!

 

[ms spock]

50lbs

That is amazing for someone without PTSD or Complex Trauma.

Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

 

[ms spock]

I went and treated myself with scones, jam and cream for morning tea this morning. I did that last week as well. I wanted to have a positive non judgemental experience with food.

Overall I have improved immensely with my eating.

I am losing a little bit more weight. I am 10 kilos off my goal weight. The Weight Watchers is really helpful for me having a structure and a routine to go with it, and the support social media is really good. It is a real life changing experience.

 

[ms spock]

I have lost ten kilos now, while in Weight Watchers, so that is a chunk of weight that decreases a whole lot of serious health risks for me, so I am pleased with that. It really is a challenge to alter my eating habits of 40+ years of food numbing and coma, but slowly I am doing it. All the skills that I have learnt are feeding into managing better in all arenas of my life.

I had 10 points of spaghetti this morning with Chicken Mushroom Stroganoff, and I really was full all day. I didn't even think of food, except to think, wow that left me feeling full all day. How about that!

 

[ms spock]

Today I had salmon and vegetables for breakfast, a tuna salad for lunch, then I made myself a 90 second mug muffin in the afternoon. It was a delicious mug muffin. I made it in the microwave, the second one I made for 30 seconds longer. So they are only 3 points so it which is great, and they were very, very tasty! It was a little bit of kind of comfort eating, it was delicious, and I let myself lay in bed and watch one of my programs. It was a luxurious muffin. I really enjoyed it, and really easy to make as well.

I have felt overwhelmed by things today. I did one important thing, I paid a bill. I spent a fair bit of the day organising my partner who has an under active thyroid and is seriously cognitively impaired, and can't remember anything.

 

[ms spock]

I didn't do enough movement and exercise yesterday but I was seriously impaired by a sore knee, so I didn't want to strain it further, but some slow quiet walking or just a 15 minute walk would have been better than what I did do, but anyway I am probably being too hard on myself.

I am way too hard on myself around my eating, at times, and then later realise well yes I needed a meal, or that would have been the only time I would have had to have a meal. So it really is huge for me, I am still so terribly harsh on myself. It is a work in progress.

I had a variation of lentil and salmon salad, with some extras in it like beetroot last night and a new one this morning with cheese. I made another microwave mug muffin and that really was a successful cooking experiment. I won't make one like that again as it wasn't for my tastes but it was good to learn how to create another food item.

There is so much to do, and I am so, so, so slow doing it.

 

[ninja]

I'd just like to say @Disco Dancing Queen I think you have made such enormous progress. It takes guts to do this work.
Be kind to you, even and especially when doing challenging things. Sending appreciation. :hug:

 

[ms spock]

I have made huge progress @NinjaWolf I do want to move to the next stage, though, I have been at this stage for a looooooooooong time!

I went to a two hour meditation class this morning, with meditation and discussion, it was great. I am doing the other things as well. Last night we went out to a live theatre event about the freedom of speech and how being real and honest is so powerful 12 people spoke and it was amazing. I am doing well with my partner. I am being less hard on him and myself.

 

[mumstheword]

I have made huge progress @NinjaWolf I do want to move to the next stage...

Brilliant @Disco Dancing Quesn ! Hard won victories! I'm so happy for you and proud of you!

 

[mumstheword]

Last time I weighed me, I'd got down from 86.7kg to 85.5.
My appetite has dropped but I'm too sick to move much again. Damn symptom flare up. Still eating healthily and very moderately, on the whole :inlove:

 

[ms spock]

It is a slow meticulous journey!

 

[ms spock]

Brilliant @Disco Dancing Quesn !

Thanks it is a huge change that I am going through at the moment!

Hard won victories! I'm so happy for you and proud of you!

Thanks they have been very hard won. I seem to have to fight for every millimetre of ground that I gain. I am grateful that I can do this.

Last time I weighed me, I'd got down from 86.7kg to 85.5.

Way to go! Fantastic stuff!

Still eating healthily and very moderately, on the whole :inlove:

That is really good to read. I am so pleased you are eating healthily and moderately it really assists in being alive!