@blackemerald1
thats a lot of questions that could take a huge post to answer.
Yes, she goes to a therapist. Without getting too deep. her mom was probably borderline, her father died when she was too young, and then she was sexually abused by the father of a friend. Her grandparents were murdered, her mother physically attacked one of our kids (child is an adult now, mother is dead). She was then fired by an employer of 20 years so she could be replaced by part time workers and is finally, after years of red tape, now declared legally disabled. And retired and a grandmother! Things are looking up for her, hope springs eternal.
I think she provokes me because it has worked in the past. It probably started with me getting angry, yelling, and then just saying to hell with it, do what you want, then cleaning up the mess after. She isn't capable of more than a two or three step logic chain, and doesn't understand rhetoric or falacious argument. Rather than support an argument and agree on a conclusion, when she wants something she knows I wont like she just plays the anger card and I skip the anger and get ready for the mess. Or she agrees that something will or wont happen and it does anyway. Then the excuse is all that matters, not the loss of integrity or risk of provoking anger. If I do get angry, I can be sure it will never change, the thing will happen until it doesn't, or it never will unless she decides on her own that it will. And I clean up more and bigger messes.
So, thats probably why she provokes me, because I havent just packed up and left yet and she gets to do whatever she wants and the risk of anger is more of a risk to me than it is to her, by far.
why does why matter? who cares?
the last question is easy. I work. I fish. i build things. i landscape our huge yard. and I work some more. I plan adventures for me and my grandkid. I collect a lot of really cool toys and play with them, i have a job that involves almost non stop problem solving and I am more or less a mad scientist inventor type, so if I feel anger coming, I try to switch gears and if I am not off on another tangent pretty soon I am just not trying, there is always a problem to solve sitting on my desk. I am the kind of guy that can sit in a room, staring at a wall, trying to remember and sketch where the tables and chairs and machines and doors are in the room without realising for 15 minutes that I am sitting at a table in the room staring at a wall of the room, trying to ignore the hum of the machines I am sketching.
Enough is my name, and I chose it because I was tired of being angry at my wife, at traffic, at morons in general, at politics, at society, basically everything. Just ENOUGH. and I am better for it and I see a therapist and thats pretty much the answer to all of the questions yiou asked, isn't it? enough
thats a lot of questions that could take a huge post to answer.
Yes, she goes to a therapist. Without getting too deep. her mom was probably borderline, her father died when she was too young, and then she was sexually abused by the father of a friend. Her grandparents were murdered, her mother physically attacked one of our kids (child is an adult now, mother is dead). She was then fired by an employer of 20 years so she could be replaced by part time workers and is finally, after years of red tape, now declared legally disabled. And retired and a grandmother! Things are looking up for her, hope springs eternal.
I think she provokes me because it has worked in the past. It probably started with me getting angry, yelling, and then just saying to hell with it, do what you want, then cleaning up the mess after. She isn't capable of more than a two or three step logic chain, and doesn't understand rhetoric or falacious argument. Rather than support an argument and agree on a conclusion, when she wants something she knows I wont like she just plays the anger card and I skip the anger and get ready for the mess. Or she agrees that something will or wont happen and it does anyway. Then the excuse is all that matters, not the loss of integrity or risk of provoking anger. If I do get angry, I can be sure it will never change, the thing will happen until it doesn't, or it never will unless she decides on her own that it will. And I clean up more and bigger messes.
So, thats probably why she provokes me, because I havent just packed up and left yet and she gets to do whatever she wants and the risk of anger is more of a risk to me than it is to her, by far.
why does why matter? who cares?
the last question is easy. I work. I fish. i build things. i landscape our huge yard. and I work some more. I plan adventures for me and my grandkid. I collect a lot of really cool toys and play with them, i have a job that involves almost non stop problem solving and I am more or less a mad scientist inventor type, so if I feel anger coming, I try to switch gears and if I am not off on another tangent pretty soon I am just not trying, there is always a problem to solve sitting on my desk. I am the kind of guy that can sit in a room, staring at a wall, trying to remember and sketch where the tables and chairs and machines and doors are in the room without realising for 15 minutes that I am sitting at a table in the room staring at a wall of the room, trying to ignore the hum of the machines I am sketching.
Enough is my name, and I chose it because I was tired of being angry at my wife, at traffic, at morons in general, at politics, at society, basically everything. Just ENOUGH. and I am better for it and I see a therapist and thats pretty much the answer to all of the questions yiou asked, isn't it? enough
