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Ptsd poetry anyone?

SpiritSong said:
WOW! Congrats. What a splendid idea. I don't think I need to hold a funeral yet, but I will keep the...
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The Homecoming


As a visitor, watching a very different kind of family than I've known in my life,
Papa, heads this very New York Italian-Catholic-Jewish-Asian clan,
while Mama has taken her leave to heaven,
and the three grown kids with spouses and children return home.
They come back once in the summer and once at Christmas,
just like clockwork,
to catch up on each other’s lives and spend loving time together.


This multi-cultural and multi-religious family,
demonstrates respect for each other’s differences,
by understanding and keeping all meals Kosher.
At mealtimes when everyone gathers,
the Catholic family members,
do not complain about the food restrictions,
but instead, they understand it as an expectation and lovingly accommodate.


The women in the family take turns cooking at mealtime,
and obviously care about the outcome of their meal,
insuring that their special course is thoroughly enjoyed by all.
The men are not left out of meal preparations,
so they take their rightful place outside grilling to perfection,
and then proudly present their contribution to the women,
like a fine piece of artwork.

Mealtime appears to be an important part of the day,
with lots of interesting and active engagement with each other,
and always compliments to each other on the tastiness of the food.
At dinner, the oldest are served first while the youngest wait patiently,
everyone sitting together very closely crowded around the table,
sometimes touching each other lovingly or wiping drips from faces,
and simply enjoying the time they have in this moment, together.

The evening does not end with the meal,
and there must be a traditional desert,
each and every night with a different assortment of yummy sweets.
Now, shortly after dinner they come together, to have coffee and their favorite deserts,
and no matter where they sit,
the intention is the same, to share together, to laugh,
and simply enjoy the company of each other.

There is no underlying anger or animosity,
and in making plans, everyone's needs are considered,
and problems are solved with relative ease; input is accepted from all.
This family appears to function well,
with kindness and consideration being a key element,
and each person seems motivated to get along,
for the well-being of the entire family.

The closeness they feel is obvious- needing no words,
the respect they feel for each other and their children-very clear,
and the kindness they offer their friends-very touching.
If you are lucky enough to enjoy a homecoming with this family,
you will feel warmly welcomed,
very respected for your talents and gifts,
and mostly, you will encounter a comfortable and peaceful feeling of home.
 
Yea, one of those family's you wish you could have been part of but I am grateful to have had a positive vacation with them. I leave day after tomorrow....back to my life....my reality.....but I'll take away some positive memories of the merry-go-round, the Bronx Zoo, the beach, music with friends, and lots of good food, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and who knows what else! ;)
 
Bkinder said:
Yea, one of those family's you wish you could have been part of but I am grateful to have had a positiv...
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Ah! New York

I remember the days
before the city became unbearable
when it smelled good
wasn't run over by homeless

I remember the days
going up the WTC
with hubby on Sundays
for our "Sunday drive"

We'd have a hotdog
On the observation deck
look out over the city...
could we see our house?

It was so awesome up there
you could see for miles
then one day, the horror
the towers fell....

We left NYC forever
the pain was too great
the sorrow too deep, tho
the memories are still sweet.
 
SpiritSong said:
Sounds like a great family!
Click to expand...

One Last Goodbye

My father's face,
cold, lonely, and empty,
so wrinkled,
dependent on others to care for him,
as he waits to die.

My father, almost one hundred years old,
he is too old,
too crippled and he hopes for death soon to come,
wishing for only one thing besides his own life's end,
peace between my brother and I.

My father, waits ……….
not knowing the reason for our long-term dissention for each other,
he does not know the truth nor understand my anger,
which was spawned in our youth while he was away on travel,
and he never will.

He is no longer strong man I came to know,
instead now like a child he is easily manipulated with simple lures, as was I in my youth,
while I remain alone and without a loving family,
finally making the final hard decision, to insure my own emotional survival,
I said "Goodbye" with tearstains on my cheeks and a sad love and pity for him in my heart.
 
THESE SITUATIONS CAN BE SO DIFFICULT

He barely says a word,
though his eyes do tell,
he is thinking something,
yes, he knows the game well.

Others are so curious,
"What is wrong with him?"
I am bound to say nothing
as his light slowly dims.

He is the sweetest person
never met one quite the same
when in his prime, I am sure,
if you hollered "Help!" He came.

The girls fall all over him
kiss his forehead or cheek
he is still so handsome
yet there's nothing he seeks.

He is content to relax there
comfortable in his easy chair
nothing seems to bother him
seems he hasn't a care.

Don't ask him a question
he probably can't hear
that would only frustrate
the asker and hearer.

One thing he knows well
smiling is the way to my heart
he smiles like a throned king
I know he is still very smart.
 
It is the Battle from within
Not the from with-out
The daggers of pain
Traumatize my soul
Piercing cries, questions, the lies
My unreality state is better
Than the Hell of my emotional Being.

Alas, I get so tired
Feeling Past in Present
Relentless memories assault
Is there any good left?
Overwhelming doom presents
My embittered peices
Begging for any release
Not money, property, or prestige
Just a purpose and peace.

Oh, that I could put
Together my Jigsaw puzzle
Scattered lives
Between PTSD ties
Can they be put together?
Live in present... within
Or fear of always overwhelming Past?

I was so together
I could handle so much
Before the ravages of Trauma
Reared in multiple tornadoes
The F5 of old life was
The night my Love died
Took by his hand
The visions still of
Spattered head...haunt my soul
And my children's nightmare dread
After so much life...pains and gains
My hope to recover...
Laugh, live, grow...
And Love the depths to my own soul.
 
Lost Car

Yesterday, I parked quickly at Walmart,
ran inside and got myself a big cart,
Left the store, “No, Where’d I park?”
So clueless and in the dark,
pacing back and forth and not feeling smart.

“What door did I come in?” I ask inside,
“Empty-brained ”..I’m left l feeling mortified,
“Lost your car?” a lady spoke,
“Me too,” oh, this is no joke,
She knew….and I just wanted to hide!

A diversion: “What color is your car?”
She smiles, “I found it, it’s right over thar!”
“Great, have a nice day!”
My car feels so far away,
Wandering around aimlessly just felt so bizarre.

Next, I walked past a lady in her truck,
And I still wasn’t having any luck,
She was talking so fast,
“Did you say something? I asked,
“I wasn’t talking to myself” she did cluck.

I kept moving quite quickly past her,
now I’m hot and the lot is a blur,
“Which way did I park?”
to myself I’d remark,
“Facing that way, I’m really quite sure!”

Just then, a clear message came through,
“Your parked close in row number 2,”
I should have paid more attention,
this was self-created tension,
And FINALLY I see it, a beautiful sky blue!
 
Lacking, in fatherhood

Alone
Isolated

And no one understands,

But your attention,
Your love,
Your dependence,
My importance,

I need.

I break you down
I need your affection,
What I never had in youth,
I take from you.
A psychopath I stay
 

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