Does ptsd make you verbally abusive towards others?

[Vpb9]

I have a question.. does PTSD make you verbally abusive towards others?

 

[Esterio]

Hi Vpb9

First welcome. Sorry for what you had to go through to need a site like this. Glad you were able to find your way here. When my symptoms are active I can be out of control of my mouth and it all comes out. I need to flee to stop it. I have big anger issues and can explode into a verbal attack on someone. I have worked very hard to control that but it happens so quick no warning at all. How that helps.

Peace be safe
Esterio

Hope that helps

 

[EveHarrington]

“Make...? Hmm. Not sure exactly how to answer that!

Here’s me...

I get triggered. I feel unsafe. I push everyone away with verbal lashings of sorts. In these moments I don’t give a damn about anything but becoming safe again.

This is my struggle. Finding a way to care when I don’t feel safe and in IDGAF mode.

The brain is functioning in fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, a very primitive function. It’s easy to say that we can control the verbal lashings, but in reality that’s not exactly the case. I think I would have fixed this symptom first over a number of others given how destructive it is to my relationships.

 

[ILoveLife]

It can make us feel threatened and defensive, hence offensive too.

I used to have very little self control on that front, now I don't verbally abuse anyone anymore. There are a lot of ways to verbally abuse someone, I used to tell people to go f*ck themselves and that I would beat them up ... Really. I'm 5"2 and weighed 80lbs at the time.. lol

One of my abusers used to tell me I was worthless and stuff like that. I never did any of that to anyone.

I think in reality it's a question of impulse control. Ptsd makes it hard but not impossible.

 

[Swift]

Could I ask more about why you're asking the question? Because that changes the way I'd frame my answer considerably.

I've broken up good relationships out of the fear that my PTSD is definitely, definitely getting the better of me, and part of that is dysregulating.

If a partner is telling you that their PTSD is the cause of their verbal abuse and you have to accept that, and you're being unsupportive if you don't, that's BS. If you're telling yourself that your PTSD makes you abusive to others, that's also BS.

Have I been verbally abusive when I've been unwell? Yes, but I was so dissociative I don't remember about eight months. Normal, PTSD me does not verbally abuse people. Dissociative, disoriented, unable to tell reality me, very scared me, does yell and fight and swear. I spent six months telling my psychiatrist to f*ck off and that I wasn't telling him anything. Is that verbally abusive? By a certain definition, yeah. Intent-based verbal abuse is different to non-intent based verbal abuse.

But. . I don't date whilst dysregulated, I don't come on here for example if I'm worried that I'm likely to be unkind, the same way that I don't drink and drive. Nor do I think verbal abuse is acceptable. But - there's a big difference between "get the f*ck away from me" while I'm having a panic attack and calling someone worthless or something.

 

[Ronin]

Short answer? No, it does not.

To misread things as threats where not intended and respond to them as threatening and with hostility, yes, but anger and hostility and overblown reactions are not the same as abuse.

 

[Abstract]

No it does not. I am not. To myself, yes.

I can see why some people may express their heightened reactivity in that way. PTSD = intense increase in arousal + randomly perceiving threat where there often isn't threat + always living in defence mode + reliving past trauma partially or fully, often while being around others in the here and now WHICH means that all gets expressed in some way or other. Some of it can come down to things like this: Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

I happen to freeze up and shut down when threatened so don't express it at others. Not healthy. Am changing.

 

[Deleted member 487]

No. To do so means losing control. Losing control means the other side wins. I cannot afford any more losses.

 

[Friday]

No. It doesn’t.

Self control is a thing.

It’s like asking if being pregnant & hormonal, or in profound grief, or in pain, or drunk, or in countless other examples makes people verbally or physically abuse others, or cheat on them, or start gambling, or shooting heroin. Because there are countless times in our lives where we have to learn & practice self control in new ways.

People usually blow off short term loss of control during things like a broken leg or being pregnant... because there’s rarely time to LEARN self control, under a new situation. But when you’re looking at a long term or life long issue? You’ve got nothing but time to learn self control.

Learning self control doesn’t mean that you can make flashbacks, or panic attacks, or nightmares, etc. go away by just willing it. It doesn’t mean you don’t have the things in your life that test your control. It means you learn how to treat others, and yourself, when going through those things.

 

[grit]

This (offending people) is and can be part of PTSD in acute sense like very symptomatic level BUT unfortunately if one is at this level, then one is no longer functional. I mean let me put it this way:
if you or this person can hold their tongue during work or at their profession, or at their long term employment or at school, then they have self control and they should not be letting it out at home. If they do, this is just pure and simple abuse - it is called domestic abuse and you or this person does not need PTSD diagnosis.

If however, this running mouth is ruining relationships, jobs, and general enjoyment of life and the person is really struggling because they seem to want to stop it but feel they are taken over, then that person,whoever they are, should be truly seeking help and this area should be the first focus.

IMHO, a lot of us who are here have CPTSD and that itself sort of implies our predators were also suffering from some serious mental health and that puts here. So the question is, why would anyone put themselves in the same situation that puts here? and if you are it is unfortunate and if you are noticing it, it is time to stop the vicious cycle and find peaceful people to hang out with.

Being abused does not give the right to anyone to keep going on abusing. If a person is verbally abusing you, take a serious precautions. If you are abusing others with your motor mouth, I hope you find a good therapist to cut this out.

This symptom of PTSD is not different than an acute symptom of cancer. One kills and one will make you isolated.

 

[EveHarrington]

This (offending people) is and can be part of PTSD in acute sense like very symptomatic level BUT unfortunately if one is at this level, then one is no longer functional. I mean let me put it this way:
if you or this person can hold their tongue during work or at their profession, or at their long term employment or at school, then they have self control and they should not be letting it out at home. If they do, this is just pure and simple abuse - it is called domestic abuse and you or this person does not need PTSD diagnosis.

This is an extreme oversimplification of the issue.

I am FINE with people who are in my “safe zone”. People who get too close are subjected to the freak out push behavior so that I can get them back into the “safe zone”.

Co-workers, classmates, etc....always in the safe zone BY DESIGN. I have an incredibly structured social world for a reason. Those who get close experience the crazy push behavior.

I don’t think it’s fair to say that the “fight” behavior must be experienced by all or else it’s abuse. This couldn’t be further from the truth based on the fact that not everyone elicits a fight response in us.

 

[Freida]

when it does (yea..I admit it may happen now and then) it's up to me to figure out why, figure out how I'm going to apologize and figure out how I'm going to prevent it from happening again. Just because I have ptsd does not give me the right to be an asshat.