I've found the process of being "decommissioned" and put on leave almost as dehumanizing and traumatic as anything eles. I f*cking struggled and worked hard to get where I was, paid my union dues and above and beyond put in my time and feel like I've been tied up and kicked in balls a millon times by the insurance company that handles our claims, to the point where I had to go no contact with them, giving my clinician autherization to handle communication with them. Now they're f*cking with me again because I got denied by government based pension plan to kick into my payments because I made the mistake of saying I was hopeful to be able to return to work at some point, not like tomorrow, but at somepoint, now the f*cking insurance company is delaying my payments, again, while they scrutinize wether they feel I'm still eligiable for payments, I suppose there are still a few days left this month but now all I can think about is not being able to make scheduled bill payments again or pay my rent and being homeless again, I wouldn't wish this mess on my worst enemy, how the f*ck I am I supposed to make progress when I have to worry about shit like this. f*ck you insurance companies, I wish I could drag you into my world for a bit.