An angry woman....

[Deleted member 44579]

I don't hide my anger.... And when it's feels right.... It can come out... It's when it's confusing, distorted, fearful.... Over reacting.... Hypersensitivity.... To the tiniest noise.. Poor public...... Usually I ride my bike and don't do buses.

I avoid triggers.... Men don't like an angry woman. Or is it just me?.... I have roared at men many times.. In different situations, like getting cut up. When I'm on my bike. Bus drivers, car users....
But ultimately... At the time it's feels right.. It's me.. That's wasting valuable energy. Over stressing my body... Hypersensitive. Cognitive distortion.

Do you get angry?

 

[somerandomguy]

I don't think it's a gender thing. No one wants to be around an angry person.

I get angry, but I try very hard not to burden anyone else with it. It's very difficult sometimes and I don't always do a good job. But it's very important to control those kinds of emotions in public or around loved ones.

 

[shimmerz]

Just starting to hit angry (I am going to go rage on this one). My T is super happy about it. Myself? Not.so.much. It is a really uncomfortable feeling for me.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Just starting to hit angry (I am going to go rage on this one). My T is super happy about it. Myself? Not.so.much. It is a really uncomfortable feeling for me.

Is it because you don't normally express yourself this way?

 

[shimmerz]

don't normally express yourself this way?

Yes. Absolutely it is. I have worked hard to get here.

Pretty sure that it is my lack of having been able to express my anger that threw me into my conversion disorder. Conversion disorder would send me into catatonia.

Which would explain why I am not going catatonic these past few days while I am dealing with something that would generally drop me for days.

Anger. Must feel anger.

Yikes!

 

[Freida]

My t would be ecstatic if she could get me to anger so I'm gonna go with it being a good thing to find.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I agree with @somerandomguy, men and women and children all dislike anger directed at them. While it's good to feel anger when you should, it's not a ticket to lash out at anyone, or to just lash out. It is part of the illness, but we can learn to control it.

 

[Friday]

Sho ‘nuff.

And like you, I abused the f*ck out of everyone else around me, until I learned to control it again.

Controlled anger? Has zip zero nada zilch to do with hiding it. It also doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. It means that you deliberately choose your actions. Not because it’s what feels good in the moment, but because it’s what’s right.

Sometimes? It just feels GREAT to roar at someone. Or to break the nose of the person roaring at you :sneaky: Doesn’t mean either is the right thing to do.

Course, doesn’t mean it isn’t right, either. Response commensurate to the provocation, is pretty much my minimum standard. What I mean by “minimum” is ...say 3 people are lining up a punch at me. What’s the right thing to do?

1. Take them down, fast.
2. Aim one right back at them, large muscle groups only.
3. Take the hit, and send them to their room on Time Out.

1. Someone trying to kill me.
2. A friend horsing around.
3. A kid having a temper tantrum.

There are countless other examples, the point mostly being that simply being punched by someone doesn’t give me the right to respond in the same way. The provocation isn’t just what they’re doing, but is made up of a lot of other factors. None of which include how I happen to be feeling today. My being edgy and misreading the situation, doesn’t change the reality of the situation. It changes how in the right/wrong I am. If I’m overreacting? I’m in the wrong. That’s on me, and my fault entirely, not theirs. IE no one can make me respond a certain way. My responses and reaction are my choices.

Sure, when I kick into overdrive it might not seem like I have a choice, but that’s just things moving fast. Either I have trained myself to act without thinking (which means I’d better be damn certain of the actions I’m training myself to take), or I’m making split second decisions. Either way, those are still my choices. So I can either choose to train different reactions, or decide differently if I can think fast enough to keep up with myself, or slow down.

The control? Is in the choice.

 

[EveHarrington]

My anger is a dissociated emotion, so says my therapist.

My expression of anger puzzles everyone. I can be spitting nails MAD one day, and like "haaaay, we cool!" the next, with no actual resolution in between. People are like "whaaaaaa the heck just happened?!?!"

Suffice to say, I have no idea what normal anger is like.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Sho ‘nuff.

And like you, I abused the f*ck out of everyone else around me, until I learned to control it again.

Controlled anger? Has zip zero nada zilch to do with hiding it. It also doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. It means that you deliberately choose your actions. Not because it’s what feels good in the moment, but because it’s what’s right.

Sometimes? It just feels GREAT to roar at someone. Or to break the nose of the person roaring at you :sneaky: Doesn’t mean either is the right thing to do.

Course, doesn’t mean it isn’t right, either. Response commensurate to the provocation, is pretty much my minimum standard. What I mean by “minimum” is ...say 3 people are lining up a punch at me. What’s the right thing to do?

1. Take them down, fast.
2. Aim one right back at them, large muscle groups only.
3. Take the hit, and send them to their room on Time Out.

1. Someone trying to kill me.
2. A friend horsing around.
3. A kid having a temper tantrum.

There are countless other examples, the point mostly being that simply being punched by someone doesn’t give me the right to respond in the same way. The provocation isn’t just what they’re doing, but is made up of a lot of other factors. None of which include how I happen to be feeling today. My being edgy and misreading the situation, doesn’t change the reality of the situation. It changes how in the right/wrong I am. If I’m overreacting? I’m in the wrong. That’s on me, and my fault entirely, not theirs. IE no one can make me respond a certain way. My responses and reaction are my choices.

Sure, when I kick into overdrive it might not seem like I have a choice, but that’s just things moving fast. Either I have trained myself to act without thinking (which means I’d better be damn certain of the actions I’m training myself to take), or I’m making split second decisions. Either way, those are still my choices. So I can either choose to train different reactions, or decide differently if I can think fast enough to keep up with myself, or slow down.

The control? Is in the choice.

I absolutely agree..

When I'm out and about I'm so aware of who's in front of me, behind me, can't do crowds...
And I always have a weapon..... Right now is my wheel lock. A magnum plus chain lock. I feel comfort when I have it. f*cked up eh...

 

[Ronin]

Some men don't like women, period.

Nothing you have to police yourself for, cannot satisfy everyone.
IMHO a stark difference between being angry vs. lashing out (whether justified or not, either or both of those.)

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Some men don't like women, period.

Nothing you have to police yourself for, cannot satisfy everyone.
IMHO a stark difference between being angry vs. lashing out (whether justified or not, either or both of those.)

Indeed... And your right about some men just hate women. And vice versa I imagine.