"Feeling Powerless/Defenseless" - Core Aspect to PTSD?

[Nuance]

So my PTSD significantly stemmed from being subjected to medical procedures from when I was a little kid (bone breaking and reconstruction), not being told what was happening/lack of information, and the lack of emotional support/not being allowed to process my pain. It caused me to be completely defenseless/unable to escape from my reality. I have struggled a lot because of the lack of control/complete reliance on others for my survival during that ordeal.

Some of my family members have combat-related PTSD where they were faced with "kill or be killed" situations and situations where it was their responsible to keep others alive in a chaotic environment.

Although they are different scenarios, a common theme seems to be feeling out of control/trapped in the situation.

What do you guys think?

 

[Tinyflame]

I think that's a big part of it, powerless for yourself or others.

Plus shock/ horror that couldn't be even pre-imagined.

And for some, the concept of 'moral injury', which goes back to shock, powerlessness of decisions.

But Idk.

 

[Friday]

I would suspect it’s a common core component for a lot of people, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s required. Similar to how being a victim is common, but not required.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it’s probably quite common for those of us who were traumatized as children, especially.

 

[Ronin]

Common it may be, I would not go for it being a key.

As in, feeling trapped can be a myriad of things happening, resulting in that. Ditto feeling powerless, they are both (spectrums of) feelings, highly subjective, and not really telling about the trauma, or specific to it. A lot of disorders could claim those criteria in feelings and have nothing to do with ptsd.

Also can be coming through traumatic as hell things, and not feel any of those things.

 

[Nuance]

Thank you for all the interesting perspectives. I was trying to figure out what makes things distinctly traumatic enough to be PTSD vs. something like an infidelity.

What got me thinking about this was that I got into a heavy debate about whether the "emotional abuse" of infidelity would warrant a PTSD diagnosis. I said no based on criterion A and offended a lot of people.

 

[EveHarrington]

Thank you for all the interesting perspectives. I was trying to figure out what makes things distinctly traumatic enough to be PTSD vs. something like an infidelity.

What got me thinking about this was that I got into a heavy debate about whether the "emotional abuse" of infidelity would warrant a PTSD diagnosis. I said no based on criterion A and offended a lot of people.

I’m guessing you had this discussion in real life, with friends or acquaintances?

The criteria is pretty clear. You can always fall back on the DSM. Infidelity alone cannot cause PTSD. It FEELS traumatic but it doesn’t rise to the same level as things that can cause PTSD. Of course people who have been cheated on will argue otherwise, but still, the criteria is pretty clear.

 

[Tinyflame]

I have always wondered, if people would think of ptsd in different terms if they associated it with potential (life-long?, even if waxing and waning) impairments, rather than emotions/ feelings of devastation. I can only remember denying and avoiding the devastation I felt, and the impairment and troubles and difficulties that followed, rather than admitting it.

I do notice one thing though, JMHO, but just seems to me I don't think there's a person in the world who can 'guarantee' they won't be severely betrayed in some way, at some point in their life, by someone. And everyone is always powerless over the fidelity or lack of, of their spouse or partner, at all times. The decision or responsibility is in their hands, as it is in the other partner's, too (vice versa).

 

[grit]

I can relate to you Nuance.
I have felt trapped by relationships and over zealous people all my life because similar to your story but different - I was abused by my mother and the older I got the more she would try to submit me and my siblings by tying us so we do not hurt her back while she went crazybatshit on us. Imagine being taller and stronger than my mom during my teen years and she would tie me to the bed and just go crazy....(also she would lock the door) so no one can come in and help me.

Yeah I know entrapment. It is a heavy feeling like chains on your ankles. and it is all over the body and does not feel anxiety or depression but more dread and foreboding for me. I have manifested this feeling as a run away avoidance type but also made me a bit more attacky (I better to it to you than you do it to me sort of personality that is difficult) which manifest further as a bit of control freak. But I can also sense when others have this feeling but are not aware of especially in abusive relationships where a person does not want to see it or leave - I just their weight of entrapment.

I think for you, it does make sense to me you felt completely powerless and trapped but I wonder what your coping mechanism is as an adult when these feelings show up in relationships?

 

[Nuance]

@EveHarrington : both online and in real life. It's not a good conversation to get into because inevitably despite how much you put in caveats and show the diagnostic criteria, people want to be validated for their experiences. It's like PTSD is seen as a vindication of an official battle scar, but for someone like me and almost everybody else here, it's been absolute h*ll. Every single time that I anticipated surgery or a major move, I got into a severe depression and became reactive to everything.... it took me 20 years to get officially diagnosed and to a grasp on my symptoms. I see it as important to make a distinction of things because if there isn't, the perception of PSTD becomes that of a joke and a mental illness for the weak-minded. It frustrates me

@Junebug: yeah I can relate to that. I spent most of my life avoiding and minimizing. For example, the reason why those surgeries were so bad for me was because I was already physically disabled and heavily reliant on others for the simplest things (I didn't learn to walk until I was 7) but at least I could crawl short distances, but with the surgeries took away the last bit of agency I had. As a result, I still try to limit thinking about my disability despite the fact that I have it, front and center. I didn't realize the extent that I avoid until years

I remember lurking on the forum and reading that PTSD is about adverse abnormally traumatic experiences. So because pretty much everyone runs the risk of getting cheated on, then it wouldn't fit the definition.

@grit : I am sorry to hear that you went through all that.... it must have been rough. In general, I don't trust people to not abandon me and hurt me. I have never had a serious relationship and I tend to disengage/reengage family and friends a lot. So my coping is intellectualization, detachment, avoidance.

For my background... I was living in an orphanage while receiving the medical treatments so the adults were overwhelmed and emotionally absent.

Later on I got adopted so I didn't really bond with anyone until I was 7. My family was great but there was a moderate level of emotional dysfunction (my mother suffered from physical/mental abuse from her father growing up and my father had a lot of anger issues from undiagnosed PTSD from his own father and combat.... he got diagnosed and treatment for it eventually! :)). But I am trying to work through it all and I am making progress.

 

[Sweetleaf]

For me, some traumas have that element, some do not.

Often I overcome the powerlessness, turn it into powerfulness, but then still have the negative cognition that I f*cked up big time lol.