Online Dating Services?

[Changing4Best]

What kinds of experiences have you had with them? What is your take on these? How do you weed out the flakes from the honorable people who list with them? What criteria do you look for in a mate when searching them? Is there anything to watch out for? Have you had any success in finding a mate with them? Do you know anyone else who has? Anything else we should know about them?

 

[somerandomguy]

I met my wife on OKCupid, but that was almost a dozen years ago so I don't think any advice I could give now would be up to date.

 

[Strangelongtrip]

I haven’t had good luck on them and I’ve been on them for the past three years, but I also think I’ve purposefully chosen not good people. I met my abuser/rapist on Tinder lmao. No red flags until months in and I didn’t see them bc it was my first relationship and he was kind of like my dad which I thought was normal. If it weren’t him it was gonna be someone else like him *shrug*. Tinder in general the guys can be toxic and usually women don’t respond lol.

Ok Cupid is better. I’ve made a few good girl friends through that, I like the people on it better, a lot more people with similar orientations to me, and was in one relationship from it but he was not a good pick either. But honestly I’ve probably had bad luck bc I wasn’t admitting I’m gay and kept trying to date men I didn’t like so the relationship would fail.

I liked them bc I’m not in a vulnerable position bc the person is not next to me, and I can leave a conversation immediately. I liked that I can look for red flags in their conversations before I meet them, but honestly I think I look too long for most people and I don’t ask them out and they stop responding. Like, a week of talking and I won’t meet up. Both Ok Cupid and Tinder kind of just depressed me in general.

I’m a dumpster fire when it comes to dating though as previously mentioned so it’s probably not the best good story lol. I deleted them all multiple times

Oh I also tried HER. No one could keep a conversation, no one was on the app consistently.

I’m not even going to say what I was looking for on there because it’d be a lie lol. What I was looking for before was someone to hurt me, retraumatize me etc etc, yada yada.

What I’m looking for now is someone thoughtful, respectful, funny, gets my sense of humor, can get “deep” in conversation but also crack jokes right out of it, has aspirations and goals, is familiar with social issues, wants to do something fulfilling with their life, is comfortable with themselves and kind to others, and thinks about their actions and is actively trying to better themselves. I haven’t found anyone who fits all of those aspects on dating apps. I’ve found someone like that IRL though, we’ll see how that goes lol.

 

[anthony]

Sorry, never used one. Hope it works out for you.

 

[littleoc]

I met my wife on OKCupid, but that was almost a dozen years ago so I don't think any advice I could give now would be up to date.

You’d be surprised.

The modern-ish version of online dating started with “mail order brides” (newspaper ads) in the 1800s :) It was a way for women to be more independent and is a fun movement to read up on. The process hasn’t changed much

But anyway. I have a hard time using dating sites because I find myself looking for warning signs in anyone I would normally not be afraid of. Also, if someone wants to meet, I’m instantly terrified. So I gave up.

But based on that, if this helps you at all: I’d recommend having someone you trust know where you are, to feel safer, on a date. Also, be reasonable about people’s quirks, because no one is perfect. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice.

There are always people who are part of a culture who are looking for cheap and easy sex. They’ll let you know at some point, probably? I have very little experience obviously, but I wish you luck anyway

 

[Friday]

:roflmao:

I’m a very much live-chemistry kind of chick. I don’t date online. Full stop.

That said? For a few years I spent a lot of time on dating sites... taking my profile DOWN. :facepalm: Because my son was on a mission from gawd to get me dating, have a “new dad”, & he’s very much an extrovert, a gamer, & a product of his generation. So he (and a girlfriend of mine -who came very close to landing on my permenant shit list- but where she’s from in DC everyone was using Match & she meant well, I know she meant well) kept plastering my profile across various different platforms. Kiddo. Nooooooo. OMFG. Stop. Just stop. I love you, too. But stop.

A few times, just because I was frustrated/bored, instead of deleting the f*ckers I simply altered the info on them to equate to hot mess. Bad idea. Floooooooded with responses. I know men are odd creatures, and I usually enjoy that to the hilt ( :inlove: :sneaky: ) but hell to the no. That’s just wrong.

It was interesting, though, to read what my son wrote about me. That in and of itself made the whole thing worth it.

 

[Changing4Best]

LMAOROFL...

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, so far I have had a man say he wanted to re-locate to where I live, claim he is a widower and go on and on about how beautiful I am, etc. etc. I had a feeling he is probably married, because he lives way across the country from here!

Now I met a fellow on the site from here where I live. He came by to chat for a bit, made an arrangement to take me out to supper at a local restaurant and then cancelled the next day because "something came up" but did not tell me what. He said he would contact me later in the week, to make arrangements again. I am not sure what to think. Time will tell, I guess. I like him. I just don't know if he likes me.

I realized that I don't want a long distance relationship. Nor do I want an online affair. So my choices will be very limited, I know. I have no idea where all this will go.

 

[EveHarrington]

I realized that I don't want a long distance relationship.

This is a wise decision!

I dated someone in Cali while I live in the east coast. I don't regret it, but won't do this again. It's hard going weeks/months without seeing them in person. And ultimately if it's going to last, someone has to relocate. I was the one who would have relocated and I can say that it would have been incredibly difficult given my current health status and all the supports I have here, not to mention building my business again from the ground up. At least I can say I tried, and walked away having learned a few things. Good luck!

 

[bellbird]

I don't know if I ever could. I've seen too many Catfish episodes :/
Best of luck to you though.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Yeah, some.

I think in the female capacity OKC works well. Women tend to get a lot of messages. As a guy you don’t get so many, and often a girl will stop replying after a while. Even if she messaged first.

Tinder is really, really strongly linked to the kind of picture you have up. My first attempt I did not have the sort of “hot” pictures people go for. I swiped endlessly with zero matches.

I do have that kind of pictures now, I wasn’t on there 6 hours and two women wanted to meet me (I met one) and a lot of messages from girls. You have to be willing to kind of participate in the “meat market”.

It works well if you want a date fast, I think.

I tried other sites but it’s been too long ago.

 

[ILoveLife]

No online dating for me either. There's some innorganic thing about it for my taste.

The woman on the picture looks like my cousin. Every time I see this thread I think "Who the hell is moustache guy there with S?" :rolleyes: