Need things to help me go outside

[yellow rose]

So I am currently having trauma therapy but am in need of some suggestions as to how to feel comfortable going outside. I have been tryin and trying for a couple of years now to walk outside. Never have I got that far. At the moment I can only manage about thirty seconds up the road,
Just wonder if anyone has any suggestions as to how to feel comfortable doing things outside. It is very frustrating.
My mental illness makes me feel very unconfident, and I am just wishing that there was something I could do to increase my confidence. I just can't ever do that far and it actually causes me tears. Has anyone on here struggle to get outside because of there mental illness and there symptoms. I just do not know how to feel comfortable walking outside for that long with the way I am and I also do not like being alone much far from the house either

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you set a goal for each day, making each goal to walk a little further? Maybe then have rewards for reaching those goals?

This is what I did when I was having problems leaving my home.

:hug:

 

[yellow rose]

I have tried to walk outside but I never get any further than a couple of minutes.
And after trying and trying I just want to give up because there issomething major stopping me from being able to do it and I know that includes the symptoms of my mental illness and also I think fear
I just wish that there was something I could do for myself to make me feel I could be ok
I know that maybe the more I do therapy maybe at some point I will be able to do it
Its just I dont see why I should be this isolated for so long
I tell my therapist again and again that it is really upsetting me
All its doin is making me feel rubbish about myself

 

[Friday]

Have you tried NOT going up the road, but simply sitting on the step?

When I was first learning to deal with crowds and whatnot I spent a lot of time up on the roof (or on balconies & catwalks & fire escapes & scaffolding). Just going to the roof ...not actually going down & out into the world... caused my heart to jackhammer, my skin to break out in a sweat, my breathing to shallow, electricity to shoot through my muscles, and ice water for blood. In short, a symptom spike.

So I did it a LOT.

In short increments. Just enough to spike, and back away. Slow things down. Ground. Do it again.

Sometimes I was there a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes. Many many times a day.

Until it got boring.

And once it got boring? I still did it. Brought a book. Ate a yogurt. Just sat there and did my thing. For minutes to hours. Just chilling on the roof. Because boring is the key. The piece I’m working on has to become totally boring before I move onto the next part.

Then I pushed my boundaries harder. Spent a lot of time watching the city. The traffic. The crowds. The patterns they moved in. I kept spiking myself, and backing away. Totally in control 100% of the time. This time, I could stay on the roof, just stop watching what I was watching. Do the boring thing, glance at what made me :eek: glance away. Until that got boring. It’s just the city. Just people. IDFC... until I moved lower. And lower. And lower. Until I was on the street itself. I still didn’t just take myself off into the crowds. I stayed on the edges. Always willing & able to back away. Until that got boring. And then into the crowds themselves. And out. In. Out. In. Out. Yaaaaaawn. Okay, how can I f*ck with this some more? Got good at bobbing and weaving through the crowds. At blending in. At being invisible. At being noticed when I wanted to be and then fading away again. Cool tricks. Okay. What next? Different types of crowds. Different neighborhoods. Different times of day. Different this that or the other. Each time LOOKING for something to spike a response. Until no matter what I did? I didn’t get one. Because it was ALL easy.

But I didnt start by simply taking off down the street & needing to deal with people & traffic & sirens & lights & buildings & dogs & flashing colors & blaring sounds & (go away go away go away!).

I started by removing myself from what I wanted to do, placing myself outside (and above) it, playing with my own responses to even considering it, to being aware of it.

 

[yellow rose]

I am really very frustrated with myself and all of my problems. Also being isolated makes me feel depressed. It isnt; that I do not want to get outside. I also feel that with the way I am I do not know how to feel comfortable doing normal things like going to town or to the dentist for example
As nothing feels the same and my inner world feels so strange. Is there any books anyone has read on trauma or improving ones confidence with a mental illness that has helped them to funtion better in the world?
Thankyou

 

[Justmehere]

The process involves a lot of getting used to being uncomfortable, but sticking that out, because the end result is worth it.

Before structured exposure work, some therapists have a client do something like lots of jumping jacks or spinning in a chair to experience disorientation and heart ponding and then it passing. It helps to not fear the fear.

The more you avoid, the harder it will be to go outside, but the more you take time to go up to the edge, go into the realm of feeling uncomfortable, the easier it will become. The more comfortable it will become.

I used to do things like clean my place with the doors open, sit on the porch, etc.

Part of what makes this is all doable is having a lot of distress tolerance skills on hand. What have you been working on to build up your toolbox of healthy coping skills? Have you ever looked into DBT therapy? There are a lot of great skills taught through DBT that may help considerably. One tool that sticks out is the concept of mastery, which is all about building self confidence. DBT Self Help

 

[shimmerz]

I still have problems with this after a decade. I was stalked while outside for about 3 years and it left a mark, that is for sure. Working on it.

I have a couple of questions for you
1. Are you afraid of someone seeing you?
2. If someone sees you while you are outside do you feel the need to bolt and hide?
3. If say, you were given an invisible suit (I know, I know but work with me on this one k?) would you be able to walk outside?
4. Are you triggered by things outside like trees, fences, grass, etc?
5. Are you afraid that you will be attacked?

Can you drive in your car? Does that affect you negatively?

Try to be kind to yourself if you can. The more you bash yourself the more counter productive it might make this situation.

 

[hithere]

have you tried a workbook for panick and agrophobia? I did one and it helped a lot. going through the chapters helped me feel like I was accomplishing the homework. One part of the workbook said to imagine yourself in your feared situation. Have you tried imagining yourself walking outside and what exactly is your feared situation? Self help workbooks are very helpful and believe it or not your problem with goin outside can be simple to fix. You really can be goin outside soon even though it feels totally impossible now.

 

[yellow rose]

Hello. I am not sure that I have panick as such. I feel it is more related to 1: not liking being outside by myself and not relaly liking being outside by myself alone 2) also feel it may be to do with my symptoms of my depersonalisation. I also sometimes worry that I would get a bit anxious if I walked too far from the house and started feeling uncomfrtable. I think there are also other reasons.
Is there any other self help workbooks you would recommend
I also feel that my mental illness makes it a struggle aswell becaues my internal world feels so very different with all of my parts and tht.

I still have problems with this after a decade. I was stalked while outside for about 3 years and it left a mark, that is for sure. Working on it.

I have a couple of questions for you
1. Are you afraid of someone seeing you?
2. If someone sees you while you are outside do you feel the need to bolt and hide?
3. If say, you were given an invisible suit (I know, I know but work with me on this one k?) would you be able to walk outside?
4. Are you triggered by things outside like trees, fences, grass, etc?
5. Are you afraid that you will be attacked?

Can you drive in your car? Does that affect you negatively?

Try to be kind to yourself if you can. The more you bash yourself the more counter productive it might make this situation.

Hello Shimmerz. I hope you are ok today
I am sorry you struggle with this.
In regards to your questions I do not feel it is really related to people completely. I am not sure what it is. I think I just struggle to do it because of my mental illness and my symptoms. My internal world also feels so different and I am not sure how to feel that comfortable being alone for that long outside. I am fine going in the garden. But I am not comfortable going far from the house at all. Also with me having all the parts of myself, some of them are more frightened than others
Do you know of any books at all that could help with my possible DDNOS that I feel I have.
I see that you feel you have this aswell.

The process involves a lot of getting used to being uncomfortable, but sticking that out, because the end result is worth it.

Before structured exposure work, some therapists have a client do something like lots of jumping jacks or spinning in a chair to experience disorientation and heart ponding and then it passing. It helps to not fear the fear.

The more you avoid, the harder it will be to go outside, but the more you take time to go up to the edge, go into the realm of feeling uncomfortable, the easier it will become. The more comfortable it will become.

I used to do things like clean my place with the doors open, sit on the porch, etc.

Part of what makes this is all doable is having a lot of distress tolerance skills on hand. What have you been working on to build up your toolbox of healthy coping skills? Have you ever looked into DBT therapy? There are a lot of great skills taught through DBT that may help considerably. One tool that sticks out is the concept of mastery, which is all about building self confidence. DBT Self Help

I would not say I am avoiding it I try and I try to walk up the road and never get that far. So in that sense I am actually wanting to do it but my mind just feels it cant and there are various reasons I feel for that.
My therapist does not use DBT skills.
Thanks for that link I will take a look.

Have you tried NOT going up the road, but simply sitting on the step?

When I was first learning to deal with crowds and whatnot I spent a lot of time up on the roof (or on balconies & catwalks & fire escapes & scaffolding). Just going to the roof ...not actually going down & out into the world... caused my heart to jackhammer, my skin to break out in a sweat, my breathing to shallow, electricity to shoot through my muscles, and ice water for blood. In short, a symptom spike.

So I did it a LOT.

In short increments. Just enough to spike, and back away. Slow things down. Ground. Do it again.

Sometimes I was there a few seconds, sometimes a few minutes. Many many times a day.

Until it got boring.

And once it got boring? I still did it. Brought a book. Ate a yogurt. Just sat there and did my thing. For minutes to hours. Just chilling on the roof. Because boring is the key. The piece I’m working on has to become totally boring before I move onto the next part.

Then I pushed my boundaries harder. Spent a lot of time watching the city. The traffic. The crowds. The patterns they moved in. I kept spiking myself, and backing away. Totally in control 100% of the time. This time, I could stay on the roof, just stop watching what I was watching. Do the boring thing, glance at what made me :eek: glance away. Until that got boring. It’s just the city. Just people. IDFC... until I moved lower. And lower. And lower. Until I was on the street itself. I still didn’t just take myself off into the crowds. I stayed on the edges. Always willing & able to back away. Until that got boring. And then into the crowds themselves. And out. In. Out. In. Out. Yaaaaaawn. Okay, how can I f*ck with this some more? Got good at bobbing and weaving through the crowds. At blending in. At being invisible. At being noticed when I wanted to be and then fading away again. Cool tricks. Okay. What next? Different types of crowds. Different neighborhoods. Different times of day. Different this that or the other. Each time LOOKING for something to spike a response. Until no matter what I did? I didn’t get one. Because it was ALL easy.

But I didnt start by simply taking off down the street & needing to deal with people & traffic & sirens & lights & buildings & dogs & flashing colors & blaring sounds & (go away go away go away!).

I started by removing myself from what I wanted to do, placing myself outside (and above) it, playing with my own responses to even considering it, to being aware of it.

Hello
thanks for your kind and thoughful reply and your suggestions.
I do not feel it is completely related to being around people. For instance I feel I can't even go on a walk, and most of the time there isn;t that many people, so I am not sure what is it.
It may be fear of being alone and what if I feel uncomfortable. I also feel it is related to my mental illness and not feeling very confident
I also think maybe I worry what If i am walking outside far from the house and a part of me ( because I feel I may have DDNOS) what if they get fearful what if I start feeling vulnerable or suddenly feeling in the past.

 

[hithere]

Panic is an often times misunderstood thing. I know for years I misunderstood what I was experiencing and I would not have called it panic either. You described "worry that you might get bit anxious" that is actually addressed in workbooks for overcoming panic. You become anxious that you might become anxious... I think the book I used was Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic Workbook by David Barlow. You may see some symptoms listed (it's lengthy list) that you can relate to. "Depersonalization" is a symptom of panic. So are a lot of weird things--sometimes panic does not have fast heart beat or sweaty palms or feelings you are going to die. Sometimes panic has odd symptoms like your arms are attached, or your eyes seem different, dizziness, feelings of being uncomfortable, etc.

 

[Survivor3]

So I am currently having trauma therapy but am in need of some suggestions as to how to feel comfortable going outside. I have been tryin and trying for a couple of years now to walk outside. Never have I got that far. At the moment I can only manage about thirty seconds up the road,
Just wonder if anyone has any suggestions as to how to feel comfortable doing things outside. It is very frustrating.
My mental illness makes me feel very unconfident, and I am just wishing that there was something I could do to increase my confidence. I just can't ever do that far and it actually causes me tears. Has anyone on here struggle to get outside because of there mental illness and there symptoms. I just do not know how to feel comfortable walking outside for that long with the way I am and I also do not like being alone much far from the house either

Pretend your wearing a samurai suit and nothing can hurt you. Don't let your feelings control you or your actions. Accept the feelings for what they are eg, fear, uncomfortable, awkward etc.. And allow yourself too slowly build up your confidence with how long you can be in outside enviroments. Maybe sit in a garden or park with a book you enjoy and think of something nice to eat as a reward when you get home. Best wishes too you.

 

[yellow rose]

Pretend your wearing a samurai suit and nothing can hurt you. Don't let your feelings control you or your actions. Accept the feelings for what they are eg, fear, uncomfortable, awkward etc.. And allow yourself too slowly build up your confidence with how long you can be in outside enviroments. Maybe sit in a garden or park with a book you enjoy and think of something nice to eat as a reward when you get home. Best wishes too you.

Hello. thanks for your suggestion. The thing is my feelings do stop me from doing things