Scared to go Outside

[Friday]

I've realised lately I've been avoiding the outside world due to my trauma. In the past I've been molested and raped. Everytime I go outside I get 2-3 men staring like I'm a piece of meat, it feels dehumanising and makes me so uncomfortable. Can anyone relate?

Feeling dehumanized? CERTAINLY.

By men? Enjoying or appreciating my appearance? Or recoiling from? No. Not at all.

So it sounds pretty central, to you… a tipping point. Like 1,000 lesbians could be crawling and begging for a glimpse, or dismissing you, without an ounce of concern; but a single man grins or sneers, whistles or ignores, & it cuts you to the core?

That the fear of a man’s -ANY man’s- opinion of your physical form (not your mind, spirit, joie de vivre, je ne sais quai; but strictly physical appearance) terrorizes you.

Deep roots.

Super damn common with PTSD, just very different trees involved, in those root systems.