Relationship I’ve left him and he doesn’t care

[Sighs]

@Mytime

 

[Friday]

He is sooooooooo gorgeous :happy:

 

[Sighs]

The pup and I are doing great.

I am seeing someone (who is also Army!) and he's lovely and sweet and kind and nothing like my ex.

I bumped into the ex in the grocery store yesterday. Initially I was frightened and avoided him but then I got annoyed and even though I was still frightened I tracked him down near the eggs and asked him what he was doing about a number of logistical things to do with selling the house. I was trembling but proud of myself. Still hoping he leave the area once the house is sold. Sigh!

 

[PreciousChild]

The pup and I are doing great.

I am seeing someone (who is also Army!) and he's lovely and sweet and kind and nothing like my ex.

I bumped into the ex in the grocery store yesterday. Initially I was frightened and avoided him but then I got annoyed and even though I was still frightened I tracked him down near the eggs and asked him what he was doing about a number of logistical things to do with selling the house. I was trembling but proud of myself. Still hoping he leave the area once the house is sold. Sigh!

Congratulations on moving on!

Can I ask you how you met your new guy? I don't how people do it. I seem to go a decade between relationships. :(

 

[Sighs]

Oh! Funny story...

So I went on Tinder. And there was a profile there with just a picture of this cat. And I'm a dog person. And I NEVER swipe right if they haven't got a photo because they are either ugly or married! But as I'm about to swipe left I see his profile says "Been out of the dating scene for a very long time and dipping my toe back in the water so be kind!"and I think the poor guy - he has no idea. So I swipe right. And match with him. And send him a message basically saying mate if you want to get a decent response rate you need to put up a photo. And he says yeah I don't want the world to know I'm on here but I can send you a photo no worries. So I give him my number and he sends me a photo and I think Oh! He's cute. And then he sends me a second photo - of him in uniform with medals on his chest. And I reply "oh shit"

I tell him thank you for his service but I can't do another relationship with a veteran and tell him about the domestic violence. And he says he understands and offers to delete my number. I say no - I'll buy you a beer sometime. Anyway we keep texting on and off and I tell him more about the ex because we've agreed we're just going to be friends and he understands Army so he doesn't need as much of an explanation as civilians do. And when I see my ex's car in the carpark where I work I call him and he calms me down. And when my ex "accidentally" sends me a text meant for his new girlfriend I call this guy and vent to him about it.

So after about a month I'm finally in his town for work and I offer to buy him that beer. I haven't looked again at his photos because I'm not thinking of him that way at all. But when I meet him the first thing that goes through my head is"Dammit! I forgot he was cute! He's not supposed to be cute!" Anyway, he listens to all my bullshit all the way through dinner and never flirts or steps over the line. He walks me to my car and gives me a hug goodbye. And much to my horror my knees buckle and I moan in his ear!!! As I drive away I'm thinking OMG - I hope he didn't hear that! and I'm answering myself "you were 2 inches from his bloody ear of course he heard you!!!!"

He called the next day and asked me on a proper date. I'm absolutely terrified of getting hurt again but so far he has been nothing but sweet and kind and understanding of my need to take it slowly... Sigh!

 

[Mytime]

I love the story of your new friendship. Friendships can help get you through the hard parts of a relationship. So I hope the date goes well. The pup is absolutely gorgeous!!!! Hopefully he likes cats, lol.

 

[PreciousChild]

That's so great! I feel that the relationship has a lot promise because you both seem to be grounded and not trying to fill in a void. And y'all can trust the feelings are genuine because you allowed them to arise naturally instead of trying to force some kind of false romance. I hope it all works out, @Sighs. From reading your story with your ex, you deserve it.

 

[NaeNae75]

The pup and I are doing great.

I am seeing someone (who is also Army!) and he's lovely and sweet and kind and nothing like my ex.

I bumped into the ex in the grocery store yesterday. Initially I was frightened and avoided him but then I got annoyed and even though I was still frightened I tracked him down near the eggs and asked him what he was doing about a number of logistical things to do with selling the house. I was trembling but proud of myself. Still hoping he leave the area once the house is sold. Sigh!

Oh! Funny story...

So I went on Tinder. And there was a profile there with just a picture of this cat. And I'm a dog person. And I NEVER swipe right if they haven't got a photo because they are either ugly or married! But as I'm about to swipe left I see his profile says "Been out of the dating scene for a very long time and dipping my toe back in the water so be kind!"and I think the poor guy - he has no idea. So I swipe right. And match with him. And send him a message basically saying mate if you want to get a decent response rate you need to put up a photo. And he says yeah I don't want the world to know I'm on here but I can send you a photo no worries. So I give him my number and he sends me a photo and I think Oh! He's cute. And then he sends me a second photo - of him in uniform with medals on his chest. And I reply "oh shit"

I tell him thank you for his service but I can't do another relationship with a veteran and tell him about the domestic violence. And he says he understands and offers to delete my number. I say no - I'll buy you a beer sometime. Anyway we keep texting on and off and I tell him more about the ex because we've agreed we're just going to be friends and he understands Army so he doesn't need as much of an explanation as civilians do. And when I see my ex's car in the carpark where I work I call him and he calms me down. And when my ex "accidentally" sends me a text meant for his new girlfriend I call this guy and vent to him about it.

So after about a month I'm finally in his town for work and I offer to buy him that beer. I haven't looked again at his photos because I'm not thinking of him that way at all. But when I meet him the first thing that goes through my head is"Dammit! I forgot he was cute! He's not supposed to be cute!" Anyway, he listens to all my bullshit all the way through dinner and never flirts or steps over the line. He walks me to my car and gives me a hug goodbye. And much to my horror my knees buckle and I moan in his ear!!! As I drive away I'm thinking OMG - I hope he didn't hear that! and I'm answering myself "you were 2 inches from his bloody ear of course he heard you!!!!"

He called the next day and asked me on a proper date. I'm absolutely terrified of getting hurt again but so far he has been nothing but sweet and kind and understanding of my need to take it slowly... Sigh!

He's stunning! I'm so happy for you. You really deserve every good thing coming your way. You're an amazing person! Your handle will have to start getting to a better version of sighing! Like instead of angst, a true exhale!

 

[Ronin]

Yay for you, Sighs. :)

Regardless of where that goes from here, understanding and caring friends are always handy.
... and your dog is gorgeous, and I am a cat person.

 

[Sighs]

Just an update for those outside the private supporters area - I reported the domestic violence to the police. He was charged with 11 offences - some common assaults and some intimidations. He has pleaded not guilty to all of them and the matter has been set down for a 2 day trial on 1 and 2 April 2019. I am very much NOT looking forward to being cross examined for hours.

Thank you to all my friends and supporters here - you have been (literal) lifesavers in so many ways!

 

[Ronin]

Thanks for keeping us in the loop Sighs. :)

A lot of strength to you.
(And if you know what sort of support do you need that can be provided over the interwebs, totally there.)

 

[Justmehere]

Well done for reporting him! My heart goes out to you. I hope they find him guilty at trial very quickly or he changes his mind and pleads guilty prior to the trial.