Yesterday was productive, which made me
happy. I love productive. I had
high hopes for yesterday. Putting together the WRAP manual for T's office (which I only got half done). I wouldn't say I was
disappointed I didn't get it all done, I will finish it today. I recognize better now when I am pushing towards
frustration, and that is what happened around the time I got half way through it. So I stopped. Not easy for me but it is getting easier walking away prior to a major frustration event without bashing myself and calling myself 'idiot'. That's progress.
Today I rode around with my youngest son, helping him drop off a vehicle and then taking him to another town a bit of a distance away to get his car.
Satisfied.
Happy to help. It isn't that often I feel helpful to the kids. I had to drive through the town the house of horrors is in, which took me down on Saturday. Today was better. No idea what I felt.
Nostalgic? Nope.
Apprehensive. Yes.
Accomplished for having done so without dropping? Definitely.
Now, back to the WRAP binder. I am a bit
timid about that. It feels
overwhelming. But I feel like if I could feel the
frustration hitting yesterday, I will be able to back away again today if I feel that again. Good self regulation is the name of the game.
Tonight? Housing committee. I wonder sometimes if it was the people on this committee that contacted my case manager and got me housing that was secure last month. I feel
safe in that room (relatively) when I go to those meetings. I feel these people, regardless of how misguided they are, are actually trying. I am
happy to be a part of this committee. I see friends when I am there as well, which helps me to feel
secure in the room. I feel a sense of
belonging when I am with them. Of being
cared about.
Oh, also was given an opportunity to fill in an application for further training. Intensive training in peer support with some courses I have already done, and others that are new to me. I would be paid for it if I am accepted. I am
excited (?) for the opportunity, but am not completely invested in it. So I am
calm at the same time. It would be an excellent opportunity though.
Figuring out emotions is getting easier, but dammit it
drains me as well. Not as much as it used to, but damn.
Happy to see you here
@Sietz ,
@MrMoonlight ,
@Living in the 70s , and
@Abstract. I hope you are all having a
joyous day.