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Naming and understanding multiple emotions
- Post starter shimmerz
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ILoveLife
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I've gotta say, this thread completely revolutionized my relationship with emotions since it first started. Been meaning to come back here and say that for a while now. A lot of factors contributed I'm sure, but it was an awesome way to start feeling proper emotions.
- Post starter
- #63
Yesterday was productive, which made me happy. I love productive. I had high hopes for yesterday. Putting together the WRAP manual for T's office (which I only got half done). I wouldn't say I was disappointed I didn't get it all done, I will finish it today. I recognize better now when I am pushing towards frustration, and that is what happened around the time I got half way through it. So I stopped. Not easy for me but it is getting easier walking away prior to a major frustration event without bashing myself and calling myself 'idiot'. That's progress.
Today I rode around with my youngest son, helping him drop off a vehicle and then taking him to another town a bit of a distance away to get his car. Satisfied. Happy to help. It isn't that often I feel helpful to the kids. I had to drive through the town the house of horrors is in, which took me down on Saturday. Today was better. No idea what I felt. Nostalgic? Nope. Apprehensive. Yes. Accomplished for having done so without dropping? Definitely.
Now, back to the WRAP binder. I am a bit timid about that. It feels overwhelming. But I feel like if I could feel the frustration hitting yesterday, I will be able to back away again today if I feel that again. Good self regulation is the name of the game.
Tonight? Housing committee. I wonder sometimes if it was the people on this committee that contacted my case manager and got me housing that was secure last month. I feel safe in that room (relatively) when I go to those meetings. I feel these people, regardless of how misguided they are, are actually trying. I am happy to be a part of this committee. I see friends when I am there as well, which helps me to feel secure in the room. I feel a sense of belonging when I am with them. Of being cared about.
Oh, also was given an opportunity to fill in an application for further training. Intensive training in peer support with some courses I have already done, and others that are new to me. I would be paid for it if I am accepted. I am excited (?) for the opportunity, but am not completely invested in it. So I am calm at the same time. It would be an excellent opportunity though.
Figuring out emotions is getting easier, but dammit it drains me as well. Not as much as it used to, but damn.
Happy to see you here @Sietz , @MrMoonlight , @Living in the 70s , and @Abstract. I hope you are all having a joyous day.
Today I rode around with my youngest son, helping him drop off a vehicle and then taking him to another town a bit of a distance away to get his car. Satisfied. Happy to help. It isn't that often I feel helpful to the kids. I had to drive through the town the house of horrors is in, which took me down on Saturday. Today was better. No idea what I felt. Nostalgic? Nope. Apprehensive. Yes. Accomplished for having done so without dropping? Definitely.
Now, back to the WRAP binder. I am a bit timid about that. It feels overwhelming. But I feel like if I could feel the frustration hitting yesterday, I will be able to back away again today if I feel that again. Good self regulation is the name of the game.
Tonight? Housing committee. I wonder sometimes if it was the people on this committee that contacted my case manager and got me housing that was secure last month. I feel safe in that room (relatively) when I go to those meetings. I feel these people, regardless of how misguided they are, are actually trying. I am happy to be a part of this committee. I see friends when I am there as well, which helps me to feel secure in the room. I feel a sense of belonging when I am with them. Of being cared about.
Oh, also was given an opportunity to fill in an application for further training. Intensive training in peer support with some courses I have already done, and others that are new to me. I would be paid for it if I am accepted. I am excited (?) for the opportunity, but am not completely invested in it. So I am calm at the same time. It would be an excellent opportunity though.
Figuring out emotions is getting easier, but dammit it drains me as well. Not as much as it used to, but damn.
Happy to see you here @Sietz , @MrMoonlight , @Living in the 70s , and @Abstract. I hope you are all having a joyous day.
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- Post starter
- #64
Oh, I am so happy to hear that @Sietz! Great news! I too have come a long way with emotions (enough that I could identify disorientation on Saturday when I crashed). That's a good thing to chew over with T next time I see her this week. It is a slow go, for sure, but I think my brain is starting to automatically access what emotion is going on with me when it can. It's hard work isn't it?
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- #65
Okay, so I started my manual again. It was ---- drum roll please! Guess! Yep.
Confusing
Disorienting
Because I had put the word confusing to my experience on Saturday -- the minute I felt that 'which document do I print next' stage this morning (like 15 minutes in) I knew to walk away. Before allowing myself to get completely f*cked in the head. So here is what I am going to say.
Normally I would have gotten to the point of disorientation. Which is a day (possibly week) killer for me. This breaking things down into multiple words (I think) is allowing me to figure out disaster before I am completely immersed in it.
So now that I know that this process of printing and putting together the manuals is a possible road to hell, it becomes even more critical if I plan on walking through this process that I identify these feelings so I can circumvent them before I drop.
I am backing off and figuring out a more simplistic way of putting these binders together and will renumber the files I have on disk so I don't have to do this 'which document next' game again.
Feelings aren't fun - but it appears they are a huge clue. I think I will make sure I associate feelings with clues more. And curiosity. Take the negative association away from them if I can.
Confusing
Disorienting
Because I had put the word confusing to my experience on Saturday -- the minute I felt that 'which document do I print next' stage this morning (like 15 minutes in) I knew to walk away. Before allowing myself to get completely f*cked in the head. So here is what I am going to say.
Normally I would have gotten to the point of disorientation. Which is a day (possibly week) killer for me. This breaking things down into multiple words (I think) is allowing me to figure out disaster before I am completely immersed in it.
So now that I know that this process of printing and putting together the manuals is a possible road to hell, it becomes even more critical if I plan on walking through this process that I identify these feelings so I can circumvent them before I drop.
I am backing off and figuring out a more simplistic way of putting these binders together and will renumber the files I have on disk so I don't have to do this 'which document next' game again.
Feelings aren't fun - but it appears they are a huge clue. I think I will make sure I associate feelings with clues more. And curiosity. Take the negative association away from them if I can.
- Post starter
- #66
Okay, I got through the manuals. All put together! Yeah! Started getting confused when I was putting together the files and renumbering them. Confusion. Frustration. No disorientation yet. Walk away? Arrrrgggghhhhh!
I have always had this 'thing' about not finishing what I started. It's like I have this goal and I hold onto it like a pitbull. Always have. It is just that characteristic in me that got me all f*cked up in the first place. I used to be a machine. Logical. Driven. And I pulled it off for a lot of years.
No. I have a meeting in another 2 hours that will take me to 7:30. Will most likely talk to my friends after that until 10 or more. I started in this morning at 6 am. This pains me. Put aside the disappointment in not achieving the goal. My goals are unrealistic and always have been.
Finish it tomorrow. *grates teeth*. Rebuilding. Stop now and set myself up for a better day tomorrow.
I have always had this 'thing' about not finishing what I started. It's like I have this goal and I hold onto it like a pitbull. Always have. It is just that characteristic in me that got me all f*cked up in the first place. I used to be a machine. Logical. Driven. And I pulled it off for a lot of years.
No. I have a meeting in another 2 hours that will take me to 7:30. Will most likely talk to my friends after that until 10 or more. I started in this morning at 6 am. This pains me. Put aside the disappointment in not achieving the goal. My goals are unrealistic and always have been.
Finish it tomorrow. *grates teeth*. Rebuilding. Stop now and set myself up for a better day tomorrow.
Go @shimmerz . There is no stopping you!
I remember a way back when it first truly sunk into my brain, in a way I could understand, that emotions are signposts. They help show us the way. Potentially. We can then use those signposts as we see fit. But if we are ignoring them in the first place - dissociating them, addictioning them, distracting from them - then we take down the sign posts and a communication network to our real selves and we are running blind.
I did so much work on emotions for so many years and with such a profound effect on my life but I became complacent. Doing this again has really helped me. Its never fun and often downlight painful but it is always helpful. Probably especially for those of us with more significant histories of self disconnection.
I love the way you wove the emotions through your day experiences. When I started I would list all events in the day (at the time had big gaps with those) then next to each try to put an emotion or emotions. Did that at least twice a day, every day for at least 5 years. Life changing. Love this more detailed wheel and would like that trauma one you suggested!
I remember a way back when it first truly sunk into my brain, in a way I could understand, that emotions are signposts. They help show us the way. Potentially. We can then use those signposts as we see fit. But if we are ignoring them in the first place - dissociating them, addictioning them, distracting from them - then we take down the sign posts and a communication network to our real selves and we are running blind.
I did so much work on emotions for so many years and with such a profound effect on my life but I became complacent. Doing this again has really helped me. Its never fun and often downlight painful but it is always helpful. Probably especially for those of us with more significant histories of self disconnection.
I love the way you wove the emotions through your day experiences. When I started I would list all events in the day (at the time had big gaps with those) then next to each try to put an emotion or emotions. Did that at least twice a day, every day for at least 5 years. Life changing. Love this more detailed wheel and would like that trauma one you suggested!
- Post starter
- #69
Messed up. Today I am messed up. Can't think of another word for it.
Is that an emotion? Or a state of being?
And that is kind of the problem, the way I see it, with these emotion wheels/words when this type of feeling hits. And I think it has something to do with the 'messed up' feeling being a mixture of different and opposing emotions.
Anger/helplessness/abandoned/lonely/afraid/frustrated
Weary/hopeless/fearful/confused/trapped
So, in answer to your question about mainstream emotion words - I think just finding one - one out of most likely many that whir around at the same time. But it is a start, right? Just a thought.
Is that an emotion? Or a state of being?
And that is kind of the problem, the way I see it, with these emotion wheels/words when this type of feeling hits. And I think it has something to do with the 'messed up' feeling being a mixture of different and opposing emotions.
Anger/helplessness/abandoned/lonely/afraid/frustrated
Weary/hopeless/fearful/confused/trapped
And yes, Abstract, I am absolutely finding that I am slamming into a brick wall with this one. It is cold here. Getting colder all the time. I almost froze to death in my car many times during my homeless stint. Meds or not, I am literally feeling my body 'freeze' while I try to go about my business and I am certain my window of tolerance has been closed up by this constant trigger.
So, in answer to your question about mainstream emotion words - I think just finding one - one out of most likely many that whir around at the same time. But it is a start, right? Just a thought.
Sorry about the cold stuff @shimmerz . That is a very tricky trigger. You aren't living in the right country for it either. :( Hope you manage to thaw the inside even when the outside is freezing.
Yes, one is a good start regardless. Hope the messed up has turned into something better.
Won't write mine down tonight as there are just too many.
Totally agree. And what I find even weirder is that they often seem to be apposite to each other. Not sure why I am surprised as it seems almost everything happening in my brain or body has a paradoxical element to it. I find myself wanting to list 6 or more words often. And still feeling it doesn't really represent it. Or all of it.
Yes, one is a good start regardless. Hope the messed up has turned into something better.
Won't write mine down tonight as there are just too many.
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- #71
That's the truth, for sure. My T keeps saying I need to make the cold 'historical'. I get it - but think I have a fair bit more work to do in order to see timelines in this cold thing. Once I get to that I know it is processing in the higher brain and will be able to crack it. Thanks for the kind wishes @Abstract.
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