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Weird dissociative-like state in sleep

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Thanks for mentioning this LisaMarie. No, I didn't see your posting.

When this happened to you were you able to continue functioning? I
I hobbled along for a while, but ultimately I crashed completely. I hate to say that and please don't assume that you will crash as well. I have special circumstances that went on for just about 3 years that really did me in.

Have a social life?
No. People who have not gone through anything like this - from my experience - absolutely couldn't wrap their heads around what was happening to me. A few people stayed but most just stuck their noses up i the air, called me crazy or some facsimile thereof, and went on with their lives. My social circle now involves trauma affected people.

I have been afraid to leave my house. I am also getting confusion severe during the day.
Ah, okay. And you also have a good group of therapists/mentors I see, which is good. What advice are they giving you?

I rented the movie "avatar" to watch and decided not to as my psyche seems vulnerable
I couldn't watch TV, movies, read newspapers, books. I actually couldn't concentrate on much of anything to be honest.

Dissociation and depersonalization are pretty standard routines with trauma - so nothing weird about that really. I used super sour candies (Warheads) to pull me out of dissociation. Wasn't fun. Careful of teeth if you do this. Brush often. This stuff is caustic.

As far as sleep goes, I started putting together some essential oil blends and listening to binaural beats on youtube. Helped me tons.
Blend I used for essential oils for sleep was lemon, lavender and peppermint if you are interested at all. Did me and a bunch of people I know way better than sleeping pills. Just a suggestion.

Absolutely you are not crazy. This is trauma and there is a logic to trauma. That's why a good therapist is so helpful. They can ground and guide you towards wellness. With trauma, from my experience, your nervous system.mind.body are trying to process what happened to you.

If you can, look up wellness tools on the internet. Focusing on the dysfunction alone that you are feeling isn't a balanced approach based on my experience. Wellness tools help people notice an awareness of differing stages of their trauma and how it affects them. It allows them to engineer their lives rather than have their lives be taken over.

I use WRAP *Wellness Recovery Action Plan* which is from the Copeland Centre in California. I live in Canada. Here is a link that I found that will give you a better understanding of how WRAP can help. WRAP (the course with a facilitator) is free. Maybe look at agencies for mental health in your area and see if these courses are available. In the meanwhile, here is a slimmed down manual, if you are interested. Perhaps you and one of your therapists can take a look at it?

https://namiaustin.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Developing-a-WRAP-Plan.pdf

Also, if you have a supporter, there is a Family WRAP course as well that takes supporters into consideration. I believe it is free as well. It is just super hard to find these courses here in Canada and you have to be half or three quarters dead to get access to them. I think it is easier in the US and UK to get access to the course. If you are interested.

Keep up the faith. There is a logic to trauma. Try to remember that when you are feeling crazy.

I hope this was some form of help to you.
 
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Thanks for mentioning this LisaMarie. No, I didn't see your posting.


I hobbled along for a while, but ultimately I crashed completely. I hate to say that and please don't assume that you will crash as well. I have special circumstances that went on for just about 3 years that really did me in.


No. People who have not gone through anything like this - from my experience - absolutely couldn't wrap their heads around what was happening to me. A few people stayed but most just stuck their noses up i the air, called me crazy or some facsimile thereof, and went on with their lives. My social circle now involves trauma affected people.


Ah, okay. And you also have a good group of therapists/mentors I see, which is good. What advice are they giving you?


I couldn't watch TV, movies, read newspapers, books. I actually couldn't concentrate on much of anything to be honest.

Dissociation and depersonalization are pretty standard routines with trauma - so nothing weird about that really. I used super sour candies (Warheads) to pull me out of dissociation. Wasn't fun. Careful of teeth if you do this. Brush often. This stuff is caustic.

As far as sleep goes, I started putting together some essential oil blends and listening to binaural beats on youtube. Helped me tons.
Blend I used for essential oils for sleep was lemon, lavender and peppermint if you are interested at all. Did me and a bunch of people I know way better than sleeping pills. Just a suggestion.

Absolutely you are not crazy. This is trauma and there is a logic to trauma. That's why a good therapist is so helpful. They can ground and guide you towards wellness. With trauma, from my experience, your nervous system.mind.body are trying to process what happened to you.

If you can, look up wellness tools on the internet. Focusing on the dysfunction alone that you are feeling isn't a balanced approach based on my experience. Wellness tools help people notice an awareness of differing stages of their trauma and how it affects them. It allows them to engineer their lives rather than have their lives be taken over.

I use WRAP *Wellness Recovery Action Plan* which is from the Copeland Centre in California. I live in Canada. Here is a link that I found that will give you a better understanding of how WRAP can help. WRAP (the course with a facilitator) is free. Maybe look at agencies for mental health in your area and see if these courses are available. In the meanwhile, here is a slimmed down manual, if you are interested. Perhaps you and one of your therapists can take a look at it?

https://namiaustin.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Developing-a-WRAP-Plan.pdf

Also, if you have a supporter, there is a Family WRAP course as well that takes supporters into consideration. I believe it is free as well. It is just super hard to find these courses here in Canada and you have to be half or three quarters dead to get access to them. I think it is easier in the US and UK to get access to the course. If you are interested.

Keep up the faith. There is a logic to trauma. Try to remember that when you are feeling crazy.

I hope this was some form of help to you.


Shimmerz,
This reply helped me more than you could possibly know. It helped me more than anything (and I do have a lot of tools). To hear from someone like me that this IS OK... was priceless. I kind of went into a "just forget about it all" phase the last month. This reply of your gave me SO MUCH RELIEF, I was able to do that. I am working on trauma work. Is there a way to chat with you at all? I can NOT thank you enough dear soul. <3
 
This reply of your gave me SO MUCH RELIEF,
@Lisamarieaxo , I am so happy that this posting helped you. Sometimes just a connection can mean everything can't it? Just knowing someone 'gets it'.

I am working on trauma work. Is there a way to chat with you at all?
We used to have personal messaging here. I am not sure if I am allowed to post my email address in this posting. @JL Admin is posting email addresses in a posting permitted here?

I can NOT thank you enough dear soul. <3
Just pass it forward. So many people need support through this. Please share....
 
@Lisamarieaxo , I am so happy that this posting helped you. Sometimes just a connection can mean everything can't it? Just knowing someone 'gets it'.


We used to have personal messaging here. I am not sure if I am allowed to post my email address in this posting. @JL Admin is posting email addresses in a posting permitted here?


Just pass it forward. So many people need support through this. Please share....

Thanks Shimmerz. I hope to have some way to chat with you. I am off of work for a bit and I am working on my healing. I took the first 7 weeks to just rest, play, and reflect on everything. I am now diving in to the healing. I would love to run my plan by you. ALSO I find myself so lost without being at work. Like I can't figure what to do. I pick up a CBT book to work, then I remember a video I was watching and start that, then decide to make juice...I have all these thoughts competing and I end up completing nothing! I know it is part of the PTSD and executive functioning.. But I gotta get stuff done so I can heal!.
 
I been experiencing this too, it happens just as im drifting to sleep. Feels like my existence has come to an end. Been getting sleep paralysis too. And thanks for sharing this! This the first time I heard someone else describing it. I only recently started getting it, I feel a bit of weighted lifted knowing that I'm not the only one
 
I can relate, it feels really disconcerting. Even though I do not experience the same thing, I experience something similiar sometimes. Its as if I am half awake and half asleep, it feels like extreme dissociation and it usually happens when I "wake up" (but not really) in the middle of the night. I can barely move when it happens (feel mostly paralyzed) and apparently, when I am in this state, I am very aggressive and childlike too - but I am not really aware of or in control of what I am saying. Its really scary. It feels as if I am not the owner of my body or my self anymore and only half conscious.

But the thing we need to focus on here is: it always passes. It always occurs in relation to sleep. This is not psychosis. This is a trauma induced experience. That doesn't make it less wearing, but its still nothing to seriously worry about, I am pretty sure.

Sending you comforting hugs if you accept!
 
but its still nothing to seriously worry about, I am pretty sure.
The sleep paralysis is actually a protective thing. I know, because when I wasn't falling into paralysis for a period of time while I was sorting out my trauma, I would literally run outside in freezing cold weather and find myself a place to hide and drop there. All dissociative stuff. I ended up having to tie myself to the bed so I wouldn't do myself any harm.

So yeah, there needs to be an awareness that this CAN go to dark and dangerous places and although it is disturbing to be paralyzed, it beats the alternative of potentially causing havoc to yourself or others in this state.
 
I would literally run outside in freezing cold weather and find myself a place to hide and drop there.
Damn, that does sound dangerous. Glad that it apparently doesn't happen anymore?
In my case though I am pretty convinced that its not sleep paralysis, just because I can move, and I can speak - but only with lots of effort. Its like I have to fight through a thick wall of fog. I guess that thick wall of fog is my consciousness being half asleep or something. If it wouldn't be so scary, it'd be pretty fascinating.
 
Luckily I’m at the fascinating stage of my healing. You’re right though it was terrifying. Wasn’t great for my social status either. Happy to hear that yours is the deal withable
 
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