Pain

[Theverytiredgirl]

I don’t know what exactly I want to say here, other than I’m in a lot of physical pain, I have a genetic disorder called h-Eds and fibromyalgia as well, and it’s acting up terribly today. I’m in that place where I want to crawl out of my body, everything is painful, and I’ve hardly gotten out of bed. This in turn fuels my depression and ptsd, I get more anxious about everything and very, very hopeless. Right now, I cannot see a future for myself, a way out of this hole, even though I’ve been doing so much work on myself emotionally. I want to go back to university, I want travel, and work and to be inspired again. I have more desire to live the type of life I only ever dreamt about before, But I can’t get started, I keep putting things off, see today I have a legitimate reason not to do s f*cking thing, but what about the days when I can but I don’t because my mind plays tricks on me? I’m reading now, that’s something, for a while this year the black fog didn’t even let me do that. I patched things up with my sister by being as vulnerable as oh god, maybe when I was a child? I’m changing my mindset but my life is stuck rn. Anyways, how is everyone else? Here’s to anyone feeling like giving up today but not giving in to it.

 

[Keen]

I'm sorry things feel so sucky to you right now. I don't have fibromyalgia, but know people who do and have heard how awful it is. I can relate to the other things though, to PTSD stopping you from pursuing what you want to do, to not being able to see a future. So you're not alone. Good job fighting. I'm trying to fight too.

 

[Theverytiredgirl]

I'm sorry things feel so sucky to you right now. I don't have fibromyalgia, but know people who do and have heard how awful it is. I can relate to the other things though, to PTSD stopping you from pursuing what you want to do, to not being able to see a future. So you're not alone. Good job fighting. I'm trying to fight too.

Sending love and light your way. And I hope we may all conquer the beast that is ptsd. I know when I’m feeling like this it’s the illness talking, that’s why I’m always conflicted. I want to live a life that I’m happy with, but the illness makes me think and feel like I can’t, I don’t deserve it, there’s too many obstacles, I’ve made too many mistakes and on and on. I think the most difficult part is the fear of getting hurt by others, which will inevitably happen, I have no control over that, and my self protection instinct fights my courage all the f*cking time. Pain is like the sprinkles on top. I’ve heard a lot of ppl especially women with ptsd have fibromyalgia, and it just makes sense to me, I think some of us hold the pain and turbulent emotions in our bodies. I just wanna let it go, as best I can.

 

[blackemerald1]

I’ve heard a lot of ppl especially women with ptsd have fibromyalgia,

^^This is true though I don't know the stats on it. I was told this by a psydoc., I have often wondered why too.

For me my Fibromyalgia is like a thermometer - do too much and it will pull me back. I have lots of plans and make lists etc., and on a good day I get to do a lot though probably not all - because I vastly over-estimate my abilities lol.

On a bad day - hmm nope, nope, nope! So I do get the unpredictability that you write about.

 

[Keen]

Have you ever tried yoga? It can be good for releasing trauma pent up inside the body. I often end a practice crying.

 

[Ann10]

It is hard to be in pain all the time. I have chronic back pain so I understand how frustrating pain is. I'm glad to hear that you are reading. Be thankful for progress and concentrate on short-term goals that can be broken into small parts.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Theverytiredgirl , do you mean Ehlers Danlos? Have 2 sisters with it and the 2 others of us we haven't bothered to get it diagnosed, but we have all the same symptoms.

I have severe chronic pain but I find the best things I can do are: 1. good timing of pain meds, preferably in advance; 2. exercises (I rarely do); if it is EDS watch for over-extension, especially with the flexibility or you'll dislocate a lot, and even if not I find my joints are screaming 3. Not overdoing it physically (I rarely do) 4. Warm baths 5. Being happy 6. Being less stressed 7. Knowing your physical and emotional limits 8. sleep* (really difficult and severe chronic pain really contributes a lot to SI, I think) 9. The Spoon Analogy- you've got limited, variable energy; use it when able, plan and know where you will use it; try not to beat yourself up if today you expected to have more and your body (or mind) won't cooperate.

Hope today is a little better and welcome to you. :hug:

 

[Theverytiredgirl]

Have you ever tried yoga? It can be good for releasing trauma pent up inside the body. I often end a practice crying.

I’m not allowed to do yoga, the eds I have means my joints overextend so any stretching movement is no no for me.

Hi @Theverytiredgirl , do you mean Ehlers Danlos? Have 2 sisters with it and the 2 others of us we haven't bothered to get it diagnosed, but we have all the same symptoms.

I have severe chronic pain but I find the best things I can do are: 1. good timing of pain meds, preferably in advance; 2. exercises (I rarely do); if it is EDS watch for over-extension, especially with the flexibility or you'll dislocate a lot, and even if not I find my joints are screaming 3. Not overdoing it physically (I rarely do) 4. Warm baths 5. Being happy 6. Being less stressed 7. Knowing your physical and emotional limits 8. sleep* (really difficult and severe chronic pain really contributes a lot to SI, I think) 9. The Spoon Analogy- you've got limited, variable energy; use it when able, plan and know where you will use it; try not to beat yourself up if today you expected to have more and your body (or mind) won't cooperate.

Hope today is a little better and welcome to you. :hug:

yes Ehlers Danlos it is! Yes baths are where I spend half my life lol. I have much difficulty finding a balance energy wise though, either I do nothing or I work myself into the ground for months at a time and then crash, I really want to change that, it’s just coming to the point that I’m realizing I can’t do things at the pace I used to, otherwise I will crash, and my body will deteriorate to the point it was a few months ago. Sleep is a nightmare, ptsd and Eds combined with some seriously bad habits, ya it’s not good right now. Weed (medical) helps and gives me breathing space from the pain, and I can laugh again, which is so freaking important.

 

[ladee]

I too have Fibro and Oestio Arthritis. I get the pain ruling your life. And then adding PTSD on top, or under, depending on the day. It's enough to keep us depressed and feeling hopeless.

It's hard to find a balance too, because some days we can do more, and pay for it the next day, or do less and still pay consequences.. I know that physical movement within reason helps me on the good days, and on the bad days, well, getting to the store and back is more than my back can handle.

I know it's important to keep my body warm, especially in the winter, and that helps. I take showers, have a bench in the shower and just set there and pretend I'm in a summer rain.

There is a lot we can do as far as PTSD Goes.... @Junebug mentioned the 'spoon analogy'... have you ever heard of it? Won't repeat it if you have. But I find that one works very well for me with the combo of pain and PTSD.

I am blessed that I am an old lady, and have a lot of living behind me, but still so many things that I want to do. So I understand being younger and having unmet dreams.

Hope it helps a little to know you are not alone and that many of us do understand. Thanks for letting us know what is going on, and know we are here for you. Sending gentle hugs if you accept. :hug:'s

 

[Abstract]

Hi @Theverytiredgirl
I too have both those and can agree that pain definitely doesnt help things at all. If you look at the cup analogy it just adds that much more to the cup. I find radical acceptance quite helpful if you haven't tried that before. Welcome by the way...

 

[Theverytiredgirl]

Hi @Theverytiredgirl
I too have both those and can agree that pain definitely doesnt help things at all. If you look at the cup analogy it just adds that much more to the cup. I find radical acceptance quite helpful if you haven't tried that before. Welcome by the way...

Radical acceptance..... I’m guessing I’m not there lol. I’m very ashamed of my life, not that I necessarily care what others think of me, but I care, I know I won’t be happy until I learn how to live with this, not just exist. I feel like I’ve been waiting for a very long time now, for what I have no clue. Like what am I waiting for? Sry bit of a tangent there lol. Pain is tricky, I’ve noticed it makes me get quite irrational at times, my temper flares up, I get extra depressed etc. I don’t know how to make this go away, but I’m not ready to give up. Im in limbo.

 

[Abstract]

Oh totally not there on the PTSD and other crap aspect of things ;) On the pain the these particular conditions have have my radical acceptance moments (DBT concept) and it helps. One step at a time huh? It also so doesnt mean you need to give up. Hope you get some respite from the pain... ?