Extroadinarily sad.

[Teasel]

Thanks @Wendell_R :hug:

I guess I should say I dont feel extraordinarily sad all of the time.when I posted I felt like this. And it's a feeling I have often and recognise to be under the surface too the rest of the time?

I think of it as being like an emotional flashback... I can feel young, hurt and totally alone even when in the presence of someone being nice to me...

Ok so as far as what I want. There has been developing a part of me that wants an independent life, with some slight quirkiness or alternative quality.

 

[Rani G2]

@Friday..
you really should publish your writings. If so..please let me know.

Your list of fav books.. didnt yet come. ;-)

 

[Deleted member 47099]

I think you're really nice to talk to @berlinda :)

 

[Teasel]

Thanks @Sophy you too :-)

 

[Deleted member 47099]

:hug:

How you doing?

 

[Teasel]

Ok thanks, not up to much (anything :D)
Pottering around on line / watching Strictly. How about you?

 

[Deleted member 47099]

I'm okay :)
I went into town shopping today tho (had to get some things) and found it really draining. There was just too much "everything".
So now I'm just mindlessly relaxing :rolleyes:
I'm getting absolutely nothing done, but it's relaxing :laugh:

 

[Abstract]

here has been developing a part of me that wants an independent life, with some slight quirkiness or alternative quality.

I think that sounds very positive! I think I can see those things already.

I understand looking at the positive bringing more pain. For me personally I only let myself supposedly see the positive for a long time and that meant the real feelings and problems stayed unaddressed.

Are you out of emotional flashback mode? Done any further thoughts on those strange things called people

 

[Teasel]

Thanks @Abstract :-)

For me personally I only let myself supposedly see the positive for a long time and that meant the real feelings and problems stayed unaddressed.

Not quite sure what you mean here?

Are you out of emotional flashback mode?

Yes thanks, very much so. I did still find coming backup this thread pretty excruciating for a couple days after. And still feel a bit non plussed by it. Not sure that explains it very well.

I do tend to avoid my posts when I've opened up. Clearly it would be good if I can stop doing that so much but I'll not beat myself up over it.

Done any further thoughts on those strange things called people

Que? Are you thinking of Scout's post?

 

[Teasel]

Thanks for the questions. V. Helpful in getting back to this thread. I do feel odd about being vulnerable!

 

[Abstract]

Inability to connect with people?

Fear of people?

Fearing I'm unlikeable

No! This is the stuff I meant. ; ) ^

Not quite sure what you mean here?

the following! :)

I'll think over your post but on the whole thinking about these things I want sends me to the same place of hurt.

but suspect you meant what I described of my weird reactions. Its hard to put into words. If I find my brain will try.

Yes thanks, very much so. I did still find coming backup this thread pretty excruciating for a couple days after. And still feel a bit non plussed by it. Not sure that explains it very well.

Totally get that. Well done for coming back to the thread, I also find it hard to do so usually. Used to post and run. And then feel very guilty.

So glad it is a bit better. Do you mostly feel like the OP or was that flashback mode? No pressure to answer.

 

[Wendell_R]

I can feel young, hurt and totally alone even when in the presence of someone being nice to me

Yes, I have had this, and it seems like an emotional flashback. Some of the neglect that I experienced came at such a young age that I have no direct memories, but just emotional flashbacks.