Court

[Kopykat]

I have to start my court proceedings of one of my lawsuits for my injury including listing people to testify, documents, and remembering everything from my injury 2 years ago. It’s causing me a lot of anxiety having to think about all this again. Mainly because I feel no one will believe me again. And I’m scared as hell to go to court which probably won’t be for awhile. I guess I just don’t want to relive this nightmare or see those people again. Has anyone else had experiences w court?

 

[blackemerald1]

Are you preparing all of these documents yourself? Do you have a solicitor and a barrister?

I can understand why you would not want to go over it all again and risk not being believed. But what choice do you have? Is there no way that the matter can be settled before Court?

 

[somerandomguy]

If you don't have a lawyer, you really should. They can work with you - this is not something you should be doing by yourself.

 

[Kopykat]

I do have a lawyer. It’s the place I formerly worked at’s lawyers requesting everything from me. I guess I feel like they didn’t believe me the first time around I don’t know how it’ll go now. I expressed my concerns several times over the years about the situation of this one person that he wasn’t succeeding at our place and it was dangerous and it kept getting shrugged off and I got hurt now they want to know who I talked to over the years. Idk the company has dicked me around so much the last 2 years I don’t believe that things will all of a sudden work out now. Forever the pessimist. And it has been shitty going through documents again and making lists like I was yesterday, started to get that same anxiety. They’re possibly going to subpoena my therapist. It’s just ripping open a lot of stuff.

 

[blackemerald1]

I don’t believe that things will all of a sudden work out now.

I don't know your legal system but in mine there can be a settlement any time up to it being handed to the Judge or Jury.

So maybe once the defendants see the strength of your case they will try to settle rather than incur further legal costs, including yours and face a larger punitive damages payout too. I hope so... keep moving forward even though it doesn't look likely.

started to get that same anxiety. They’re possibly going to subpoena my therapist. It’s just ripping open a lot of stuff.

^^Ugh... that's just horrible. Has your therapist had any Court experience? If not, it may be a good if your lawyers prepared him.

Are you getting any preparation for your in Court experience? It can get rough. :hug:

 

[Kopykat]

I don't know your legal system but in mine there can be a settlement any time up to it being handed to the Judge or Jury.

So maybe once the defendants see the strength of your case they will try to settle rather than incur further legal costs, including yours and face a larger punitive damages payout too. I hope so... keep moving forward even though it doesn't look likely.



^^Ugh... that's just horrible. Has your therapist had any Court experience? If not, it may be a good if your lawyers prepared him.

Are you getting any preparation for your in Court experience? It can get rough. :hug:

So far the past few days I’ve been filling out questionnaires from the other side of what happened when, who did I supposedly talk to, etc. I have to now go through documents I may have. Anything relating to this from 2 years ago. I really hope it settles before going to trial.

I had therapy today, my therapist isn’t on board w this bc I’m struggling. I’m already having issues w dissociation w this. My feelings are to hurry up and get the paperwork over with so I don’t have it hanging over my head and give everything else I can and get it out of my hands. I don’t like to sit and wait I feel like it’ll just make things worse. I know I’m bullheaded at times but I know I’ll jist agonize over this if I wait. It’s odd also bc for 2 years nothing happened and now everything seems to be moving.

My therapist has testified before but I don’t know for what. She reminded me that she has limited availability and that the holidays are coming up so she will be even less available. My sensitive self took that the wrong way but I kept it to myself. Mostly I’ve been keeping to myself except on here. I think part of it is bc people are waiting for me to have a meltdown. My brother actually told me to stop being a “Debbie Downer” yesterday. I was unaware people legit said that to other people.

As far as preparing for court...I don’t know how to. I always prepare and assume the worst in life. I hardly rely on others. I try to keep my meltdowns to myself. I wish I could fast forward 6 months. I feel dissociative and in and out suicidal ideations but that’s not new for me.

I appreciate you talking to me.

 

[Sideways]

My advice, for now? Don’t prepare for court. No point.

There is currently no hearing date. The matters to be dealt with by a trial haven’t even been fixed hy the parties because you’re still going through the disclosure process. There is so often a settlement before trial that it may never even get to trial.

So until you have that trial date? Don’t prepare for trial.

This could take a long time. Could be another 2 years before it settles or goes to court, right? So we’re in for the long haul. Which means focusing on the ‘right now’ tasks. What do you need to do right now? That’s the questions and the documents you’ve been asked to prepare. And that’s all you need to focus on right now.

This is a marathon. Not a sprint. So ease up on yourself. The only thing that you need to focus on right now is the things you’ve been asked to do now. Not X months from now.

Your T being reluctant about this? Suggests that your T’s head is in the right space. Your T isn’t concerned about getting a good outcome in court, your T is concerned about your welfare. It may come off as lack in of support, but actually your T is just doing their job, and keeping a tight reign on the things in your life (like this case) that are exposing you to excess stress.

Remember to take time out for self care. Regularly. Don’t neglect that part - it’s the part that will see you through to the other side of this case:)

 

[Kopykat]

My advice, for now? Don’t prepare for court. No point.

There is currently no hearing date. The matters to be dealt with by a trial haven’t even been fixed hy the parties because you’re still going through the disclosure process. There is so often a settlement before trial that it may never even get to trial.

So until you have that trial date? Don’t prepare for trial.

This could take a long time. Could be another 2 years before it settles or goes to court, right? So we’re in for the long haul. Which means focusing on the ‘right now’ tasks. What do you need to do right now? That’s the questions and the documents you’ve been asked to prepare. And that’s all you need to focus on right now.

This is a marathon. Not a sprint. So ease up on yourself. The only thing that you need to focus on right now is the things you’ve been asked to do now. Not X months from now.

Your T being reluctant about this? Suggests that your T’s head is in the right space. Your T isn’t concerned about getting a good outcome in court, your T is concerned about your welfare. It may come off as lack in of support, but actually your T is just doing their job, and keeping a tight reign on the things in your life (like this case) that are exposing you to excess stress.

Remember to take time out for self care. Regularly. Don’t neglect that part - it’s the part that will see you through to the other side of this case:)

I know you’re right. I have a hard time w grey areas and not going all in. This case is just starting and my other one is supposedly wrapping up (have yet to hear from my other lawyer). This sounds stupid but I feel like the bad guy and like I did something wrong even though I was the one seriously injured and physically assaulted several times. Nobody listened to me before it even got to that point. 3 major surgeries later now I’m trying to remember it all and I get the same feelings of “nobody will believe me” and “people will be mad at me “ when I know I should be like “screw them”. I’m not an emotionally tough person. I feel everything way too much. I can dissociate sometimes to shut it off but not always. Right now I feel that same fear and aloneness again. But I knew it would come back w this. I guess I thought I would be more ready.

 

[blackemerald1]

You don't need to stress about your T not turning up because if she is needed either your lawyer, the defendant's lawyer or even the Court will subpoena her. Failing to answer (which means turn up) a subpoena will land her in deep sh*t. So, she is like everyone else when it comes to obeying court orders. Don't worry about that bit.

As side-ways said, don't worry about your time in Court - just get all the documents prepared and sent on so you cannot be accused of undue delaying etc.,

Not a lot of people appreciate how excruciatingly slow the legal processes work for civil action and then suddenly as you are feeling now, it's all happening and everyone wants stuff done yesterday. That's typical too.

You are not a Debbie Downer - strange term but I know what it means, actually your anxious reaction is quite normal.

 

[Sideways]

when I know I should be like “screw them”. I’m not an emotionally tough person.

This is what we tell ourselves. But it just isn’t true.

If you’re a particularly emotional person, of course there’s going to be times where that feels like a weakness. But it isn’t. I bet you can think of plenty of times where being emotional has helped you be empathetic. So it’s a strength.

And it’s not your job right now to be all tough and ‘screw them’. That’s your lawyer’s job. To the extent that they can, they should be helping guide you through this without being confronted by the emotion being tossed around hy the other side. Just like your T is there to look after your welfare through this process and beyond.

If you can, engage the clinical side of your mind when attacking the tasks that you’ve been set. If you’ve been asked questions? Set out the facts. That’s all they need. Then bring the emotions here, to your T, to your morning workout, to your hot soak in a tub. Engage all the skills you’ve learned along the way to engage with, and manage your emotions when they’re helpful.

And they are helpful. Uncomfortable? Sure. But they’re letting you know “these legal tasks I’ve been set are taking a huge toll”. That’s helpful information. That means this is something you need to manage, it’s not something to just sail through.

Managing our time, our priorities, and our emotions means setting aside time to do those legal tasks, then put them aside. When brain starts to get into that worry-pattern when you’re not engaging with those tasks, acknowledge the distress, thank your emotions to alerting you that things aren’t ok, and re-engage with here and now stuff. Self care, cooking dinner, walking the dog, whatever you need to direct your attention to in real life right now.

Like I said, you’re in for the long haul. It’s not going to be easy. So as much as possible, ease up on yourself. Load up with the self-care, and set limits on how much time you engage with the legal stuff. Don’t let it become your life - it’s just one (stressful) thing currently happening in your life. So as much as you can, engage with the other aspects of your life like they’re a kind of essential medication to help you get through (which you will).

Being tough as nails is over-rated. The ability to tune into your emotions sometimes makes things difficult (like this case), but it’s an incredible talent and strength. Don’t let this case change that quality about you. And don’t let this case become your life. It’s just something happening right now. It will come and go. Like any other task.

 

[Kopykat]

I submitted what I have as far as question responses today. This weekend I’m not going to touch it. I’m actually going to go buy a book now as something to do for a break. I hope I can shut my brain off a bit. I do feel pressured by myself and others to hurry up and get everything done. But you both are right, in reality, the legal system has taken such a long time.

I guess I feel I’ve been stuck in a state of chaos and varying amounts of crisis for 2 years but in reality I’m sure the people I used to work w hardly think of me. And I shouldn’t care what they think or about making them mad or being the bad guy. It’s hard to tell myself I did nothing wrong when I was the one who was hurt. Old patterns I guess.

I know all the things you both say are true, I just need to be able to let them sink in. My panic brain doesn’t want to let anything logical come in and is just ready to fight.

 

[IceQueencop]

@Kopykat - one of the reasons the work comp court process takes so long is because a lot of people give up, then work comp doesn’t have to pay. It’s shady. You have rights and you should be taken care of. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Hang in there.