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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

Also, sorry if I'm confusing anyone by going back and forth between healthy and unhealthy talk.
Actually I think this is a good thing -- a sign of growth. Because you are allowing yourself to talk about both at the same time. You aren't focused on one end or the other -- you are letting yourself talk about the good and the bad without trying to make excuses or hide in denial. So yea --- I'm thinking good!

I love the idea of the day of no bad thoughts!!! I may just have to steal it :)
 
Two things:

(1) I found out I have four beanie babies that are worth $3,000, $19,000, $50,000, and $179,000. I am considering being a troll and selling them for $20 bucks each. Or just donating them to kids who will actually play with them instead of putting them in a box and never playing with them. But also my rare childhood good moments are tied to them so I'll wait until they're rarer :roflmao:

(2) More seriously, Nestle got really sick and is taking some time off. She can no longer have pork or beef. She's okay, but she can't eat until tomorrow and is on some medication to reduce her colon's swelling. Poor baby. She's okay though! And hopefully will stay that way. When we live in a cleaner house, I will get her a rubber bone. No more beef. Poor babe.

I really need to retire her. But, I was in Walmart without her today and asked the same employee (I couldn't recognize her) for directions like three times, so.... I need to figure this out. lol
 
I will probably not sell them even to be able to move out. They mean a lot to me. But I might consider buying a safe at this point to put them in. I could pull them out any time I wanted to have them out! One of them has seaweed in his hands! I used to play with him by setting up soccer matches with other toys and also doing kitchen stuff with him. Him and the Kitty doll. Good times. Very good times.
 
Oh, forgot something.

(3) I have busted both my kneecaps in my past twice. So I have to keep up with exercises and stuff. If I end up with MS (starting to look more unlikely! yay!) it would help to not have pain when I tried to walk.

The running-again thing is going great, but the tendon in my left knee in particular is acting up. I also have flat feet so I've been carefully checking all my leg muscles and tendons before I run. It looks like I will need a week to rest before running again. :(

I wish I had health insurance! I really need to see my physical therapist... maybe a local person around here would be willing to give me a discount? In the meantime, I will be overly careful.

My back still hurts no matter what exercises were suggested, so I'm not sure what to do about that. When I had D-sized boobs they were weighed and found to be 14lbs each. Now they're DDD/F (is F the right UK one?) so it makes sense my back hurts. My spine is probably trying and failing to adjust to the weight. I will continue trying to loose fat, but again, all my fat seems to be stubbornly in my boobs and with the ovary hurting again occasionally, I'm fearful this may be a hormone issue that requires a doctor or maybe surgery despite me trying to avoid surgery :(

I guess I better do some research and then ask my doctor for advice, after making it clear that I am not insured.
 
Okay, so, actually -- I'm looking up a bunch of my TY beanie babies and yes most of them are worth basically nothing, but several more are worth thousands... maybe this is some sort of weird ass blessing, because all five that I "stole" from Brandi (I couldn't give them back, she said she hated me too much to see me again) are also worth hundreds to thousands...

I think it would be better to donate a few. I think it would take so long to sell them at high prices that it may not be worth my time. I'm guessing most people don't buy cloth sewed into animal shapes for thousands, even if they are rare.

Maybe if I asked my grandma to help me find someone who would buy...? It's doubtful it would work out THAT well. I could sell them for a fraction of what I see online and see if that works? Even $100-$1000 each is a high number, really... maybe not even ethical?

@LuckiLee Oh, yeah!!! I totally forgot to research that -- totally forgot about it! I think in our state it's TennCare (oh yeah, we had this conversation! Cuz you're in Michigan!) I will check that out asap.

And thank you so much!!! <3 <3 ??
 
Small life update: apparently my mom's toilet overflowed. That's the room with the one and only shower in the house.

There is too much stuff around the toilet to mop the area without cleaning it first, and unfortunately my mom covered the area in Nestle's towels and then just left them there, on top of foam rugs.... so that's nice.

I think she's expecting me to clean it. I'm thinking about it for my own sanity.
 
Saaaame.....

I think I better do it before it molds. One time I spent two years away from this house and when I got back, I found moldy towels around the toilet that were also stiff from having dried out... I threw them (and the rug under them) away lol

Probably hurt my lungs in the process though. I think I will swallow my pride for now and clean it up. Maybe wait until tomorrow so my mom has to think about how much it sucks.

I am so glad I have my own bathroom. REALLY wishing it had a shower in it though, but if it did then after the five years of me not living here it probably would have gotten crazy moldy, so.... weird blessings I guess o.O
 
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