Trying to get back into job and feel embarrassed about memory problems

[Renestel]

My husband and I are getting tight on bills and I need to jump into a job before my usual summer seasonal job--I'm really having serious anxiety and having a hard time finding jobs that fit a person with C PTSD. I need a flexible schedule, I like working alone, I can't take high stress--(obvious) and don't want min. wage because when I do, I work my BUTT off. But I broke down crying today because I am so scared about memory stuff. I prefer repetition because that helps my PTSD. I am the creep that usually has a small little notepad or writing notes in my phone so I can remember what the hell everyone said the daily tasks were. That works well. But it doesn't work for every job....does anyone else feel this way or have these challenges? I feel super alone.

 

[Neverthesame]

I have a horrible memory, I forget people's names, tasks, schedule, you name it. Stress makes it way worse too.

I have to set alarms for when I use the punch clock or I will forget to punch in and out. I have the snooze function set on it too. If I'm busy doing something or far from the clock when my shift ends, I either have to leave it ringing or snooze it, or I will walk right past it and out the door.
A few years back, I was having a very stressful time with work, I became so disorganised with my time I was often bouncing from one task to another so rapidly it was nearly impossible to get anything done.
I'd start something then get side tracked by something more "important", start doing that, bump into something else, start doing that over and over in circles, it was so frustrating.

I tried taking notes on paper, but I'd forget to look at the note, so that was useless for me. What did work for me was (I'm eccentric as it is, so this isn't that weird for me.) writing notes on my hands and arms in marker pen, so I couldn't forget to look at the note. Any time I did anything, there it was right in front of my face. My co-workers eventually got used to me being a human post-it note for those few months.
My bosses were just glad I was doing a better job, even though I looked half nuts. I only have to do this when I'm really symptomatic, otherwise I can usually do fine without it.

I also prefer to work alone, and I despise having to train new hires. I imagine it's hard to learn a job when the person who teaches you is talking rapidly while mumbling, has a weird accent and is repeatedly interrupting himself in the middle of explaining one task to interject something he forgot to mention about a previous task. :facepalm:

Your definitely not alone with this.

*I also learned that using a Mr. Clean eraser sponge to wash permanent ink off my arm was an incredibly stupid idea. Those are extremely abrasive I discovered, worst rugburn I've ever had.*

 

[knuckles]

I hear you. I have a job now I can cope with fairly well (only 12 hours a week, I start work before the sun rises and leave before my colleagues arrive, and it requires more physical strength than brainy skills - still carry pen and note pad though), but the last time I had to start looking for a job due to money getting too tight, I started crying every time I read through the jobs advertised. They all seemed to ask for way more than I was able to give. I felt really scared and useless. But I also knew that if I could find the *right* job I would be an asset. I also work hard and though I may not be as efficient as many others I am thorough.

Would it be possible for you to locate some sort of agency or job portal that focuses more on your skill set? Or maybe you could have someone help you go through the job sections and sort them out so you are not faced with all the adverticements for people with multi-tasking skills and high stress-resilience.
Or any chance that your usual seasonal employer has connections you could lean on?

 

[Rani G2]

That works well. But it doesn't work for every job....does anyone else feel this way or have these challenges? I feel super alone.

@Renestel yes!!! Unfortunately I work in the medical sector, meaning there are lab tests, where I have to be
highly focused all the time. Struggling with anxiety (C-Ptsd). The only thing which works for me is (I am struggling on other Days) Yoga and body tapping. If I feel fear at work, I drink a glass of cold water, smell Lavendel scent and tap my chest for about 2-3 minutes. Need to keep caffeine intake low and practice yoga with more discipline, which I cannot do all the time. I also need to visualize a safe place for my little child (Which again, doesn’t always work). It’s hard to keep the inner stable, it’s like work again. Also on L tryptophan since a while. I think I am off topic as you mention memory..

 

[March2018]

I have a horrible memory, I forget people's names, tasks, schedule, you name it. Stress makes it way worse too.

I have to set alarms for when I use the punch clock or I will forget to punch in and out. I have the snooze function set on it too. If I'm busy doing something or far from the clock when my shift ends, I either have to leave it ringing or snooze it, or I will walk right past it and out the door.
A few years back, I was having a very stressful time with work, I became so disorganised with my time I was often bouncing from one task to another so rapidly it was nearly impossible to get anything done.
I'd start something then get side tracked by something more "important", start doing that, bump into something else, start doing that over and over in circles, it was so frustrating.

I tried taking notes on paper, but I'd forget to look at the note, so that was useless for me. What did work for me was (I'm eccentric as it is, so this isn't that weird for me.) writing notes on my hands and arms in marker pen, so I couldn't forget to look at the note. Any time I did anything, there it was right in front of my face. My co-workers eventually got used to me being a human post-it note for those few months.
My bosses were just glad I was doing a better job, even though I looked half nuts. I only have to do this when I'm really symptomatic, otherwise I can usually do fine without it.

I also prefer to work alone, and I despise having to train new hires. I imagine it's hard to learn a job when the person who teaches you is talking rapidly while mumbling, has a weird accent and is repeatedly interrupting himself in the middle of explaining one task to interject something he forgot to mention about a previous task. :facepalm:

Your definitely not alone with this.

*I also learned that using a Mr. Clean eraser sponge to wash permanent ink off my arm was an incredibly stupid idea. Those are extremely abrasive I discovered, worst rugburn I've ever had.*

I’m so relieved reading this post because I thought I was alone!! My memory has been so horrible since my attract and my doctor has blamed it on stress, but to me something just doesn’t seem normal!!!

 

[Alli D87]

I have memory problems too. I was working from home and the boss was getting frustrated with me because of my memory. She started acting sarcastic and speaking to me like I was a lesser being... well that triggered me so bad I went into a downward spiral and essentially lost my job...

It really sucks. I have a semester of school to finish and I'm so nervous about the memory issues.