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How do you manage other people’s expectations of you? E.g Friends, family or work colleagues that assume you should be able to complete certain responsibilities.
I find others perceive because I’ve done something in the past then I should be able to do it again, even at short notice. However they may not see how much effort and preparation it took me the first time around to accomplish that task.
With mental illness and stress disorders not every day is the same.. even triggers are in flux.. it can get complicated.
When do others resent you because you’ve done something before but cannot do it now? It’s sometimes sabotaging to do something once because others may use it as evidence that you can do it and therefore get offended when you refuse to do so now.
One thing I’m finding more and more is that if you try to push yourself to ‘appear well’ then you lose because you get exhausted and symptoms increase, but also others expect you to perform at that level most days.. it simply cannot be sustained.
It’s frustrating because it’s very difficult for others to understand what you are going through day to day especially when it’s of a complex sort.. Do I simply operate from within my threshold and refuse anything that others may perceive I can do again in case they assume I can do it in the future? Somehow it has become a responsibility..
It’s frustrating because sometimes I can do things and sometimes I cannot. What is at the edge of my tolerance today, challenges me but I am able to accomplish I may not be able to do tomorrow or next week..
How can I communicate these challenges to others? Is it a matter of setting boundaries? How have others here managed these scenarios?
Also what are fair expectations for others to have based on your limitations? I feel we need responsibilities each day so we can shoulder some of the burden.. that’s only fair, It’s just how much is fair? Is it ‘what is just about tolerable’ even when you are at your worst? I’m interested to hear how others have managed this.
Thanks
I find others perceive because I’ve done something in the past then I should be able to do it again, even at short notice. However they may not see how much effort and preparation it took me the first time around to accomplish that task.
With mental illness and stress disorders not every day is the same.. even triggers are in flux.. it can get complicated.
When do others resent you because you’ve done something before but cannot do it now? It’s sometimes sabotaging to do something once because others may use it as evidence that you can do it and therefore get offended when you refuse to do so now.
One thing I’m finding more and more is that if you try to push yourself to ‘appear well’ then you lose because you get exhausted and symptoms increase, but also others expect you to perform at that level most days.. it simply cannot be sustained.
It’s frustrating because it’s very difficult for others to understand what you are going through day to day especially when it’s of a complex sort.. Do I simply operate from within my threshold and refuse anything that others may perceive I can do again in case they assume I can do it in the future? Somehow it has become a responsibility..
It’s frustrating because sometimes I can do things and sometimes I cannot. What is at the edge of my tolerance today, challenges me but I am able to accomplish I may not be able to do tomorrow or next week..
How can I communicate these challenges to others? Is it a matter of setting boundaries? How have others here managed these scenarios?
Also what are fair expectations for others to have based on your limitations? I feel we need responsibilities each day so we can shoulder some of the burden.. that’s only fair, It’s just how much is fair? Is it ‘what is just about tolerable’ even when you are at your worst? I’m interested to hear how others have managed this.
Thanks
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