Is there somewhere here I can write down things to get feedback on them before I talk to my T?

[oakleaves]

That's the question really.
I don't want to post graphic content here that might be triggering for others but I also really don't know whether what happened to me was bad enough or whether it is something my T will be able to tolerate hearing (because maybe it was too too bad).
I have never told anyone. I have moved forward to a point where I know I could write things down (I couldn't tolerate thinking about it at all until recently) and I want to be able to talk to my T because for me the point of therapy is to be able to say it so that I can move on.
I wanted to ask rather than just post something.
Thank you.

 

[Still Standing]

Hi @oakleaves, it seems to be common for those of us to have difficulty in verbally expressing our abuses. Writing is a "safe" way to get the words out of us. I can write much easier than speak about my traumas, too. It was a tentative venture for me, but one of the most consistent means of receiving feedback was starting a diary on the Members diary forum. It is where you can write whatever you want and other members can read what you wrote. They will support you, give opinions and insights, suggestions, comfort, and just simply companionship. It has been very helpful for me. Perhaps, it would be a good place for you to explore and consider, too.

In the meantime, you can post general things under the specified headings, on this site, to address specific concerns you may have. And if you are worried about being too specific, there are ways to write to suggest what it is you experienced without going into grand detail and it will be understood. As for triggering, because of the nature of this site, it is a given that something will be said that will trigger someone. It is unavoidable. I have a difficult time reading "specifics" of sexual abuses, angry posts, or ones laced with cussing and such. I try to skim over these things or not read them at all. So, one has to be self-monitoring. So, there are times when a diary post is what may need to be done and at other times, a general post under a subject matter is needed. Utilize both types. You will get responses from both methods of writing, here. :)

 

[Abstract]

Hi Oakleaves. It is absolutely fine to discuss this on the site. Your feelings about it are normal in the context of having experienced trauma. It is up to each individual to take care of themselves here so you don't have to worry about others reading.

Some people find the trauma and stressor forum and the members only trauma diary (for your own thoughts) forum helpful. Is your t a trauma t? How much does she know about this and have you discussed any aspect of it?

 

[oakleaves]

Thank you so much for saying all that. I might do a post on the trauma and stressor part then, thank you. I just worry about triggering people. I feel like I need to describe what happened so that I know people do tell their T's this stuff and to know I am not completely weird for this stuff having had such an impact on the way I experience my body.

My t is a t who is very experienced at working with trauma. She knows that it happened because I told her (in the fewest words possible) a few weeks ago. She used the words I didn't. Then we have started to work on using associated words and getting used to hearing them, writing them, seeing them in the room. Then I gave her a few more minor things written down that I sent to my friend too (in a burst of desperate needing to tell someone and feel like I was making progress). I feel like the next step is to talk about the things I did write down already but then also tell her the other stuff because I feel like naming it and telling my story is important. My t will be led by me unless i am overwhelming myself. I just need to know whether I am strange or not and know whether wanting to talk about it in detail is odd.

Thank you.

 

[Still Standing]

I just need to know whether I am strange or not and know whether wanting to talk about it in detail is odd.

If this ⬆makes you strange then it makes all of us strange, too! ?? We need to talk about our stuff, in detail, sometimes. Getting it said helps to face the trauma and know it was really real because we are experts at hiding, ignoring, or denying our abuses. But it is all those actions that keep us in turmoil because we have not exposed them to the light so they can be addressed and we can learn how to live better. There is nothing strange in that you want to talk about your traumas. This is one site where "normal" does not exist!!! :GRIN: So, write, share, do what you feel your need to do that will promote your own healing, here.

 

[Friday]

This is from our Community Constitution

MyPTSD does not use trigger warnings. Mind reading what could be a trigger for another is a negative thinking style, a problem all PTSD sufferers need to correct at some level. Whilst some view its use as a courtesy, it is impossible to know what will, or will not, trigger another person, regardless the graphic detail contained. After all, this is a space where those affected can discuss trauma and its consequences.

We’re a PTSD site. We discuss trauma. At every level. The warning is in the site name. We’re not a knitting forum (although sakes alive, I visited my sister’s knitting group once, and I’ve known brothels who discuss things in less detail! :hilarious: ) . Point being, trauma is exactly why we’re all here. And everyone is responsible for minding their own responses to stuff. It’s not your responsibility to write things you think other people can read. It’s other people’s responsibility to stop reading if it bothers them.

You also may well be very surprised at what triggers -or stresses- other people... and what doesn’t. As an example I can talk all the details of rape as easily as I can discuss the weather, doesn’t bother me a bit- but had to stay away from the social threads & chats discussing dogs for about 2 years. One of the huge benefits of a forum is being able to discuss the details of trauma, without having to worry a bit about how it affects others. And a forum this huge? There’s nearly always someone who has had the same trauma, who can also talk about it. Or even if they’re not an active member anymore, someone who has talked about it.

A couple other threads you might also be interested in

Reading Forum Increases Symptoms!

Dead Link Removed