Sufferer Scared Newby - Childhood Trauma, Abuse, & Trying To Quit Porn As A Coping Mechanism

[Teasel]

Experiences like that are a real balm aren't they, feels like somehow everything gets together, the world around or something, to give you a kind of hug. Well wishes

 

[Sinner]

Experiences like that are a real balm aren't they, feels like somehow everything gets together, the world around or something, to give you a kind of hug. Well wishes

Nice way to explain that kind of thing. It's rare. I feel isolated most of the time. Other times it's like my mind checks out for hours. Don't really know where it goes but I feel so numb.

 

[Sinner]

Really bad night last night. Nightmares. I have a medical procedure coming up Friday. Cystoscopy. I was hurt in similar ways as a kid. I'm terrified and asked the VA to put me to sleep. The best they will do is a topical numbing agent and light sedative. So scared it's making me sick. Prostate and Bladder twice normal size. Can't void 100%. Making me want to act out for the endorphin and dopamine to ease my nerves and depression. I feel so hopeless today.

 

[littleoc]

You might benefit hugely from posting a new thread on that topic. Other people have been through what you’ve been through and will be able to offer good advice. :hug:

 

[Sinner]

You might benefit hugely from posting a new thread on that topic. Other people have been through what you’ve been through and will be able to offer good advice. :hug:

I will try to figure out how. Thanks. Not good at navigating this site yet.

 

[littleoc]

You’ll get the hang of it :)

If you need extra help, you can contact staff (menu on the left, I think it opens with a little square button at the top)!

 

[Sinner]

You’ll get the hang of it :)

If you need extra help, you can contact staff (menu on the left, I think it opens with a little square button at the top)!

Thanks.

 

[Ronin]

You got this, Sinner.

It is okay to be afraid / get that pain doesn't really help the fear levels, but you got this.

 

[Sinner]

You got this, Sinner.

It is okay to be afraid / get that pain doesn't really help the fear levels, but you got this.

The PTSD is taking over. Can't seem to help it.

 

[Friday]

I will try to figure out how. Thanks. Not good at navigating this site yet.

New Member Information

Help

 

[Sinner]

Well 6:45 a.m. and I'm sitting in the parking lot at McDonald's. Not much sleep. Hurt. Pain level high and feel like I'm gonna go crazy from it. I have always loved my work. It's a passion. Just can't do it anymore. Pain, nervousness, depression, flashbacks, crippling fear and I've gotta try to act normal. I'm anything but normal. I cut hair for a living. Barber. People expect me to talk to them. All I can do is cry at times. The tears just start pouring. No control and it makes me look like a nut in that environment. I'm angry, but mostly at me. Sometimes I hate myself.

 

[Ronin]

You could bond over crying.

I mean, if you cannot help it, and people still expect you to talk to them, you could as well switch the conversation back to them and things. Some people also need to socialize when going to places like the barber and the like, at worst you get no answer back, at best you get customers thinking you are quite open about things and unconventional?