mumstheword
MyPTSD Pro
It's been a long struggle, encompassing about 34 years.
First it was being obsessed with becoming anorexic. I WANTED to be anorexic, to show my mother how badly her treatment of me was hurting me.
Then I gained weight after she "boarded me out" to strangers, a Scottish family, at 13, and their food was not what I was used to and I got chubby. I panicked and started deliberately avoiding meals and being obsessed with looking like the models in Dolly magazine (this was back.in.the early 80's).
I did develop an anorexic type ED and became very ill with B12 deficiency and anaemia, which lead to psychosis as my brain "started to dissolve" in my late 20's.
I stopped deliberately avoiding food in my early thirties, this was after all my 7-children were born and I was tired of having no boobs, yes, that's how bonkers I was. I was breastfeeding and malnourished for years. Keep in mind, I have Autism (high functioning) and CPTSD. I was also being abused by the father of my chsren throughout my childbearing years.
After my last baby I resolved NOT to miss as many meals as I could, and I went the other extreme. I struggled with putting on too much weight. My weight yoyoed until more trauma and acute stress and my 40's hit, and I became more and more overweight, until I nearly became diabetic (I was classified as pre-diabetic) following a miscarriage and subsequent further spiking in weight gain.
I am now 46, and have embarked on a ketonic diet, after numerous attempts and three miscarriages in the last few years (different and very loving father, my current partner)
No more bingeing or urge to binge, no more missing too many meals.
I have been on this diet for two weeks and my weight has plummeted from at its highest 87.8kg, down to 80.7kg, at the start of this latest restricted diet, at the beginning of March, to now 76.7kg, currently.
My aim is to reach at least 65kg, aiming for that to happen by around the end of April.
I will keep you posted.
First it was being obsessed with becoming anorexic. I WANTED to be anorexic, to show my mother how badly her treatment of me was hurting me.
Then I gained weight after she "boarded me out" to strangers, a Scottish family, at 13, and their food was not what I was used to and I got chubby. I panicked and started deliberately avoiding meals and being obsessed with looking like the models in Dolly magazine (this was back.in.the early 80's).
I did develop an anorexic type ED and became very ill with B12 deficiency and anaemia, which lead to psychosis as my brain "started to dissolve" in my late 20's.
I stopped deliberately avoiding food in my early thirties, this was after all my 7-children were born and I was tired of having no boobs, yes, that's how bonkers I was. I was breastfeeding and malnourished for years. Keep in mind, I have Autism (high functioning) and CPTSD. I was also being abused by the father of my chsren throughout my childbearing years.
After my last baby I resolved NOT to miss as many meals as I could, and I went the other extreme. I struggled with putting on too much weight. My weight yoyoed until more trauma and acute stress and my 40's hit, and I became more and more overweight, until I nearly became diabetic (I was classified as pre-diabetic) following a miscarriage and subsequent further spiking in weight gain.
I am now 46, and have embarked on a ketonic diet, after numerous attempts and three miscarriages in the last few years (different and very loving father, my current partner)
No more bingeing or urge to binge, no more missing too many meals.
I have been on this diet for two weeks and my weight has plummeted from at its highest 87.8kg, down to 80.7kg, at the start of this latest restricted diet, at the beginning of March, to now 76.7kg, currently.
My aim is to reach at least 65kg, aiming for that to happen by around the end of April.
I will keep you posted.
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