Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Also, I got myself a massage for Friday. No idea how that’ll go without a service dog... maybe a little easier, since she won’t try to get between the massager and my body if I get nervous?

She did that with my PDoc one time. Gave the doc some kisses on the hand to prevent her from touching me. Doctor didn’t move or anything, just calmly said, “I’m allergic to dogs and haven’t had my yearly shot yet.” OH. Lol. Why so chill??

 

[littleoc]

I’m going to have to tell my mom to stop bringing up random traumas from my past for a bit. I need to somehow get s steady job without my dog. It may have to be something that keeps me moving.

She brought up my dad choking me out of nowhere (okay, not nowhere, but it wasn’t a needed part of the conversation) and also the fact that when I was a kid he randomly, suspicious got REALLY strict about my underwear. I don’t really want to talk about that right now. My stress cup is kind of full right now.

I need to carry Nestle outside with my painful back again too. Oh boi.

 

[littleoc]

If things could stop going from “not good” to “okay” to “definitely worse,” I’d appreciate it!

Trying to stay optimistic though. I told this to my psychiatrist and she answered, “Do you have anything to look forward to to be optimistic about?” Rood. That’s not how optimism works. It’s called “goals.”

 

[littleoc]

Oops, I bought horse riding lessons.

 

[littleoc]

So I went to a Walmart without Nestle! Nestle tried to stop me (seriously, she got between me and the front door and gave me a look) and I went anyway and got a plant and some fish bait.

Nestle tells me she’s bored out of her mind. But also she can’t walk so I will need to figure something out. :(

Also I rescued a turtle today. She’s cool. I’m going to drive to Nashville tomorrow to get her some help. She would be EXCELLENT at educating children. In fact I used her for that today. Friendliest turtle ever. Definitely was someone’s pet. May have been hit by something (the side of a car??), but she’s okay. Poor lady was trying to bask in the middle of a 50 mph (80 km per hour) highway. I may or may not have almost made the guy behind me have to slam on his brakes. (Why do people tailgate?)

Also my bird pranked me. She looked proud.

 

[littleoc]

I love tracing all the stories in the Old Testament to old pagan religions. (And New Testament.)

I’d rant at y’all but I’m too tired :P Most of y’all have probably heard it already. Did I mention Jesus being a ... I can’t summarize that without offending someone though, sorry

The old storm god is still super nice and I like him a lot

Why throw lightning bolts when you have rainbows? Light is nice. Storms are important

Flooding still stinks. Also tornadoes ?

The ? emoji is cool tho (yay, I’m not afraid but of a harmless thing for once)

 

[littleoc]

I’m too stressed to sleep. I research extra deep into things when I’m stressed.

It’s the therapy thing... I’m too tired to elaborate though. Maybe tomorrow.

 

[littleoc]

Yoga is fixing my upper back a bit :) If I can get my boob size down soon enough, my spine may be fine without the need for surgery :)

 

[somerandomguy]

:hug:

 

[Teasel]

If I can get my boob size down soon enough

Weigh you down don't they!

 

[MrMoonlight]

I’m too stressed to sleep. I research extra deep into things when I’m stressed

Hope you were able to get some rest. Going without sleep always makes things more difficult for me. My therapist and I are talking about this now. I have a tendency to do the same, I can drive myself crazy. Hope you have gotten out of that state of being. :hug:

 

[littleoc]

Weigh you down don't they!

Yessssss :laugh: It’s awful! I hope they won’t sometime.