Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Thanks, guys! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[littleoc]

So, things that have happened when I was away from Nestle for too long:

• Didn't know who I was
• Didn't know when I was
• Didn't know what I was
• Accidentally attempt suicide against my will
• Unable to recognize people around me, including close friends even if they reintroduce themselves
• Unable to recognize where I am
• Unable to name my own age when EMTs were called
• Likely to run into a road or something without a dog herding me away
• Sudden terror at unknown sources (I never remember)
• Slurred speech and confusion if sitting too long
• Unable to concentrate, leading to dissociation(?)
• Confusion when faced with triggers or flashbacks
• Don't take critical medications at the right times
• People get too close without a barrier
• Due to facial blindness, unable to tell who I know and who I don't know without Nestle's help

But, without Nestle:

• I feel safer around other dogs
• I can walk faster
• I don't have to take one of my limbs out for a potty break
• Seeing a cat or loose dog won't mean anything unless I want it to
• People won't stare at me

Hm. Those positives don't outweigh the cons when typed out...

I think I might be in trouble, guys. Stupid house... I don't know how to address these issues without a service dog... Any ideas? Do y'all get any of these? Should I make a forum post?

 

[littleoc]

My doctor told me to eat a jellybean every fifteen minutes, but that's not a great option right now....

I do have my watch set to where it will beep every hour, which helps!

Let me think, how do I drive without her help? She's only talked to me once while I was driving. I seem to do well unless I'm tired.

 

[littleoc]

Anyway. Nestle's way of saying thank you is cute. Unfortunately I'm back to carrying her around, and this house is the ABSOLUTE WORST for this situation.

ugh ugh ugh ugh

 

[littleoc]

Let me think, how do I drive without her help? She's only talked to me once while I was driving. I seem to do well unless I'm tired.

Concentration! I'm concentrating and trying to keep other people and myself safe. It's surprisingly grounding. So, I need to take this stuff and apply it to my daily life.

You know, the last time I dissociated badly enough to be in danger was December of 2017. Talking the traumas out seems to be helping a lot.

Another positive:

• I won't worry about what to do with Nestle if an active shooter arrives. I'll be a lot more help to other people

I ALWAYS go to firework shows without Nestle. She hates fireworks. I have done well every single year, except for the one where Brandi was angry at me (Fungus) because he accidentally spoke on the same account as her lizard son (which, at the time, I was mostly upset because I was like "You can't be serious about this...").

This is way less than ideal but I have to figure it out.

 

[littleoc]

Hey, @Freida! Or anyone who knows. Curiosity question, if you know the answer! It's okay if you don't though :D I don't know how many books you've written or what kinds.

So one of my professors says that the debut novel is critical to your writing career because it will determine what kind of publishers you can go to and also whether or not people will buy your books. Which is why she said you must publish short stories and stuff beforehand so you can gather an audience.

But I was just watching this video by an author (I'll post the link at the bottom) in the UK and he says the first book typically fails or at least isn't the best selling. (We ignore J.K. Rowling for this discussion. The odds of that happening seem to be almost nothing. :laugh: )

It would REALLY take the pressure off if that's the case! I care about the material I'm working on -- it's a better version of the world Brandi wanted from me -- but I obviously have no idea what I'm doing yet and don't expect to know for a while.

Anyway, what do you think? :P Unless you have no opinion, then you can just ignore this. I'll figure it out eventually probably!

 

[somerandomguy]

I have worked in publishing and to get a novel published at all is amazing. Whether or not a novel is successful or not is not something an author should be worrying about. If a novel is accepted for publication, that is the job of the publisher's marketing department. An author's job is to write and create and put their soul into their words.

Don't worry about success. Worry about getting the best thing you can possibly get onto that page.

 

[littleoc]

Well, that sounds WAY easier. Maybe it's because a lot of novelists self-publish now but don't spend the time marketing? I've heard it's risky for a publisher to publish books from new authors in general, no matter the type of book. Even if it's a big publisher. It costs money to print.

I'm definitely expecting a million rejections! I'll be disappointed if I only get 999,999 rejections. :P

Thank you for your insight! Trying to make sure a debut novel is "the greatest" is sort of too much pressure. I wonder if I should tell my professor that.

 

[littleoc]

It's also an unrealistic goal. Even famous books aren't the greatest.

 

[Freida]

I started with magazine articles ...then moved to a book. I'm really happy I did the articles first because it gave me practice with what works and what doesn't.After I wrote my book I got refused by every agent that I queried, which isn't surprising because I've heard they get 1000 query a week from new authors

I ended up doing a kickstarter campaign to get it printed and now sell it on amazon. I was lucky - the story I wrote has lot of connections in this area, so we were able to fund it. Sales are still pretty hit and miss.

my sister just landed an agent, but the agent is having a hard time finding a publisher. Sooo.... ya. it's relies more on luck than talent

this program was a godsend. It works like one note where you can keep all your notes organized but way more options. It worked really well for me because I also had to track recorded interviews. There was a bit of a learning curve but I won't write without it now
.

 

[littleoc]

Nice, thank you!!!!! :D

 

[littleoc]

So I went to yoga without Nestle because Nestle can’t walk right now. It was weird. I felt, again, like I was missing an important limb, and I didn’t have someone behind me to glance at for the “I checked, you’re fine” look. Definitely some kind of separation anxiety.

Picked a new spot by the wall where most people can’t see me. The man is back, tho. That makes me feel a bit better. (The woman are all super nice though. I don’t feel judged or anything. Just worried about attackers...) Unfortunately this spot isn’t by any emergency exits. So now that’s on my mind while trying to relax.

I think it went well though. I actually accomplished quite a bit, without a doggo casually letting me know my heart rate was up. She’s just started realizing she didn’t need to tell me, though, so that would have happened anyway. She’s really smart.