Autopilot suic

[AJ45]

My apartments never been so clean organized have things labeled etc.

I don't have the will power anymore to keep fighting, it's relentless.

Ideal hard work pays off...reality you work your ass off and can't even keep head above water.

Haven't been a person/human in awhile. It's like I've fought a bunch of dementors yet still lost. I have drowned in the abyss of darkness and the only way to stop, is to stop life. I'm ready to be done. As much as I wish I could fight more, be normal, function properly, not feel like a ghost....reality is different. Each step I take is just a derivation of the step before..bad...

We all go through shit....why is it that some can manage and others cant? Why do some get so unbelievably crushed and destroyed beyond repair?

 

[Gs172003]

My apartments never been so clean organized have things labeled etc.

I don't have the will power anymore to keep fighting, it's relentless.

Ideal hard work pays off...reality you work your ass off and can't even keep head above water.

Haven't been a person/human in awhile. It's like I've fought a bunch of dementors yet still lost. I have drowned in the abyss of darkness and the only way to stop, is to stop life. I'm ready to be done. As much as I wish I could fight more, be normal, function properly, not feel like a ghost....reality is different. Each step I take is just a derivation of the step before..bad...

We all go through shit....why is it that some can manage and others cant? Why do some get so unbelievably crushed and destroyed beyond repair?

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. What do you need right now?

 

[AJ45]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. What do you need right now?

I don't know i need things to stop i need to be able to function do things on a normal/regular basis. But that's not happening each day is he'll and I just get closer and closer to death. On two paths trying ro survive and failing vs also dying

 

[bellbird]

On two paths trying ro survive and failing vs also dying

But there's still a distinction: only one of the paths has the opportunity for healing along the way.

And know that I say this with every ounce of understanding of how difficult things are for you as I am right there myself.

Don't rob yourself of that opportunity.

I know I am just a name on a screen, but I have seen how hard you have been fighting for so long. And it would devastate me for you to not have the opportunity of experiencing healing; to whatever degree, or in whatever number of incremental steps as it may be for you.

And I know that by you reaching out, there must be a part of you, even if it feels the tiniest most insignificant part at the moment, that still wants to fight. And that is very heartening to me.

Keep fighting, @AJ45 .
You matter.
You matter to us.
You're not alone.

 

[AJ45]

But there's still a distinction: only one of the paths has the opportunity for healing along the way.

And know that I say this with every ounce of understanding of how difficult things are for you as I am right there myself.

Don't rob yourself of that opportunity.

I know I am just a name on a screen, but I have seen how hard you have been fighting for so long. And it would devastate me for you to not have the opportunity of experiencing healing; to whatever degree, or in whatever number of incremental steps as it may be for you.

And I know that by you reaching out, there must be a part of you, even if it feels the tiniest most insignificant part at the moment, that still wants to fight. And that is very heartening to me.

Keep fighting, @AJ45 .
You matter.
You matter to us.
You're not alone.

I so want to care enough but the packing labelling cleaning says otherwise. I don't care if i rob myself of what might be good...that's just life. Life people will rob you so why does it even matter?

But there's still a distinction: only one of the paths has the opportunity for healing along the way.

And know that I say this with every ounce of understanding of how difficult things are for you as I am right there myself.

Don't rob yourself of that opportunity.

I know I am just a name on a screen, but I have seen how hard you have been fighting for so long. And it would devastate me for you to not have the opportunity of experiencing healing; to whatever degree, or in whatever number of incremental steps as it may be for you.

And I know that by you reaching out, there must be a part of you, even if it feels the tiniest most insignificant part at the moment, that still wants to fight. And that is very heartening to me.

Keep fighting, @AJ45 .
You matter.
You matter to us.
You're not alone.

Also amazingly it didn't feel so bad to "practice" it

 

[bellbird]

I don't care if i rob myself of what might be good...that's just life.

I understand.
I am certainly not alive for myself right now; I am basically only here still fighting this because of others.

And it really really matters to me that you stay fighting, too.

Please can you reach out to some form of acute or emergency help IRL if you need it.
I'm concerned about you and your safety.

 

[AJ45]

I understand.
I am certainly not alive for myself right now; I am basically only here still fighting this because of others.

And it really really matters to me that you stay fighting, too.

Please can you reach out to some form of acute or emergency help IRL if you need it.
I'm concerned about you and your safety.

I havent practiced today just cleaned and labeled. And what's point ive been 5150d twice both bad made thibgs worse in different ways